旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more natural and concise, correct small errors, add a brief supporting detail with a linking word. For example, start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (use “prefer to” or “would rather”), and give a short reason with a linking word like “because” or “so.” Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

示例: I usually don’t look out the window when I travel because I get migraines, so I prefer to sleep for most of the journey.

建议: Make the sentence more natural and use a linking word for contrast. Replace unusual phrasing like “extraordinarily fantastic” with a more common collocation such as “especially beautiful” and tighten the structure to sound more fluent.

示例: I don’t usually take photos, but I will if the view is especially beautiful, because it’s rare to see scenery that impressive from a moving car.

建议: Organize the answer into a clear topic sentence plus a concise supporting reason. Remove hesitations and repeat words; use linking words like “because” and give a specific example (how often you climb or a memory). Keep to 2–3 sentences and correct grammar (e.g., “I’m familiar with the mountains”).

示例: I prefer the mountains because I grew up in a landlocked country and have climbed many local peaks, so I feel more comfortable there. For example, I often hike with friends on weekends, which is why I don’t feel drawn to the sea.

× I usually do not because I have migraine when I travel.

✓ I usually do not because I have migraines when I travel.

The noun migraine should be plural (migraines) when referring to recurring attacks in general. Use the plural to indicate she experiences the condition on multiple occasions: 'I have migraines.' Suggestion: Use plural nouns for recurring or countable conditions (I have headaches/migraines).

× I rather sleep during the whole transportation process.

✓ I would rather sleep during the whole journey/while travelling.

The phrase 'I rather sleep' is ungrammatical in English; use the modal-like construction 'would rather' to express preference. Also 'transportation process' is awkward; use 'journey' or 'while travelling.' Suggestion: Use 'would rather' + base verb for preferences and choose a natural noun like 'journey' or 'trip.'

× I usually do not, but sometimes if the view is extraordinarily fantastic then I will consider.

✓ I usually do not, but sometimes if the view is extraordinary I will consider it.

'Extraordinarily fantastic' is redundant and awkward; 'extraordinary' or 'fantastic' suffices. Also add the object 'it' after 'consider.' Remove unnecessary 'then.' Suggestion: Keep modifiers simple and include necessary objects: 'consider it'.

× I prefer mountains as I've never been familiar with the sea as my country is a landlocked country.

✓ I prefer mountains because I've never been familiar with the sea; my country is landlocked.

Use 'because' instead of 'as' for clarity. 'I've never been familiar with the sea' is odd; 'never been to the sea' or 'not familiar with the sea' are better. Also avoid repeating 'country' twice: 'my country is landlocked.' Suggestion: Use 'because' for reasons and concise phrasing: 'I've never been to the sea; my country is landlocked.'

× Mountains have. I have, sorry. I have climbed mountains and I'm pretty familiar with it so I prefer mountains rather than the sea.

✓ I have climbed mountains and I'm pretty familiar with them, so I prefer the mountains to the sea.

Fragment 'Mountains have.' and 'I have, sorry.' are disfluent fragments; combine into a full sentence. 'Familiar with it' incorrectly uses singular pronoun for plural 'mountains' — use 'them.' Use comparative 'prefer X to Y' rather than 'prefer X rather than Y.' Suggestion: Avoid sentence fragments and ensure pronoun agreement (them for plural) and use correct comparative structure: 'prefer A to B.'