旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Fix errors like “see some interesting” (needs a noun) and watch prepositions and verb forms (looking out of the window, traveling).

示例: Yes — I always look out of the window when I travel by car or bus. For example, I enjoy watching changing landscapes and spotting small villages along the way, which helps me relax during the journey.

建议: Give a clear direct answer first (Yes/No/It depends), then explain with one or two specific reasons using linking words. Correct grammar and avoid repetition (“I would I wouldn't”, double “to”). Use clearer vocabulary like “moved” or “struck me” instead of “very hits me.”

示例: It depends — I only take photos when something striking catches my eye. However, I usually avoid taking pictures while traveling because it’s difficult and unsafe to photograph through a moving car window.

建议: Give a clear preference and support it with specific, correctly formed reasons. Avoid unclear words and repetitions (“lied to Z”, “sun bedding”, repeated “I don't”). Use linking words (because, for example) and correct nouns/phrases (sunbathing, beach volleyball).

示例: I prefer the sea because there are more activities to do there. For example, you can go swimming, sunbathe, or play beach volleyball with friends, whereas mountains are quieter and better for hiking rather than social beach games.

× I like to enjoy looking outside the window and see some interesting along the way.

✓ I enjoy looking out of the window and seeing interesting things along the way.

Original uses both 'to enjoy' plus a gerund phrase awkwardly and mixes 'look' with 'see'. Use 'enjoy' directly with the gerund 'looking' and parallel gerund 'seeing'. Also use 'out of the window' (or 'out the window') and plural 'things' after 'interesting'. Suggestion: use parallel gerunds and correct noun number.' ,

× It depends, if that thing very hits me I would I wouldn't mind to take a quick shot of the picture but normally I don't do that because while driving I find it difficult to to take a photo.

✓ It depends; if something really strikes me I wouldn't mind taking a quick photo, but normally I don't because it's difficult to take a picture while driving.

Errors include incorrect phrase 'that thing very hits me' (use 'something really strikes me'), redundant 'I would I wouldn't', incorrect 'to take' after 'wouldn't mind' (should be gerund), and duplicated 'to'. Also reorder clause for clarity and use 'photo/picture' consistently. Suggestion: use correct idiom 'wouldn't mind doing' and gerund after it.' ,

× I personally lied to Z because there are more activity for you to do when travelling to the sea such as swimming, sun bedding or you can play football like beach ball with friends unlike mountain.

✓ I personally like the sea because there are more activities to do there when travelling, such as swimming, sunbathing, or playing beach football with friends, unlike in the mountains.

Multiple errors: 'lied to Z' is likely mistaken for 'like', which is a lexical error but corrected here. 'activity' should be plural 'activities'. 'sun bedding' should be 'sunbathing'. 'you can play football like beach ball' corrected to 'playing beach football'. Add 'in the' before 'mountains' and use consistent infinitive/gerund forms. Suggestion: use plural nouns and correct compound gerunds.' ,

× I think I I don't, I don't, I don't know what people doing.

✓ I think I don't know what people do.

Repeated fragments 'I I don't, I don't, I don't' are disfluent. Missing auxiliary in 'what people doing' – should be 'what people do'. Simplify to a single coherent sentence. Suggestion: remove repetitions and use correct subject-verb structure.' }]}} PMID:1]