旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答をより明確で自然にするために、主題文を最初に述べ、続けて短く具体的な理由を一つか二つ示してください。つなぎ言葉（for example, because, so）を使って文をつなぎ、冗長な表現や誤った語句（例："essential part of trouble"）を避けましょう。語順と冠詞や前置詞（a/the/in）にも注意して、文を最大5文に収めてください。例えば、「I enjoy looking out of the window when travelling by train because the large windows offer a wide view of the landscape. I especially like clean windows and scenic routes, so I can take good photos.」のように組み立てます。

示例: I always look out of the window when I travel, especially by train, because the large windows give me a wide view of the landscape. For example, I enjoy watching fields and small towns pass by, and I prefer clean windows because they make the view clearer.

建议: 回答を簡潔にして意味がはっきり伝わる語彙を使ってください。目的語や動詞の選択（take photos, take pictures）と語順に注意し、曖昧な表現（"take a business", "influenced"）は避けましょう。接続詞（because, so, when）を使って理由や状況をつなぎ、具体例（what you photograph, when）を一つ加えると良いです。文章は3文以内にまとめてください。

示例: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery from the car when the window is open. I usually photograph mountains, oceans, and forests because their colours and shapes are very striking. I sometimes share the best photos on social media.

建议: 好みをはっきり述べる主題文の後、なぜそう思うかを一つか二つの具体的理由で補強してください。比較表現は正しく（I prefer mountains to the sea）使い、語彙（height, view）や文法（冠詞、複数形）を正しく使うことが重要です。つなぎ言葉（because, so）を使って論理的につなぎ、発言は短く自然な英語でまとめましょう。

示例: I prefer the mountains to the sea because the higher viewpoints give me wider, more peaceful views. For example, hiking to a ridge lets me see forests and valleys spread out below, which I find relaxing.

× Yes, of course, it's essential part of trouble.

✓ Yes, of course, it's an essential part of travelling.

The original sentence has incorrect word choice and missing article and confusing structure. 'essential part of trouble' is not meaningful here. Likely intended 'essential part of travelling' or 'travel'. Use the indefinite article 'an' before 'essential part'. Suggestion: rephrase to 'it's an essential part of travelling' to clearly express that looking out the window is important during travel.

× Train or car.

✓ I mean trains or cars.

This fragment is incomplete and unclear. It should be a full phrase like 'I mean trains or cars' to connect with the previous sentence. Suggestion: use a complete clause to express the comparison.

× I like the trains for cars with big windows because beautiful scenery comes in very wisely at the window.

✓ I prefer trains or cars with big windows because the beautiful scenery comes into view through the window.

Original has subject-verb and collocation problems: 'I like the trains for cars' is incorrect; choose one preposition and correct noun phrase. 'comes in very wisely' is unnatural; use 'comes into view' or 'is clearly visible'. Also add the definite article 'the' before 'beautiful scenery'. Suggestion: use 'prefer' for choices and 'comes into view' for scenery appearing.

× Clean window is also my preference.

✓ A clean window is also my preference.

Missing article before 'clean window'. Use 'a' to indicate one (or any) clean window. Alternatively use 'clean windows are also my preference' for plural. Suggestion: include appropriate article or use plural form.

× Yes, of course, I often open the window and take a business.

✓ Yes, of course, I often open the window and take photos.

'take a business' is incorrect collocation and meaning. The tense 'I often open... and take photos' is present simple and matches habitual action. Suggestion: use 'take photos' or 'take pictures' to express photographing scenery.

× Wilderness, nature, ocean and mountain is very beautiful and influenced.

✓ The wilderness, nature, the ocean and the mountains are very beautiful and inspiring.

List requires plural verb 'are' because multiple subjects. Missing articles before some nouns and awkward adjective 'influenced' used incorrectly; 'inspiring' better expresses emotional effect. Suggestion: include articles and match plural verb agreement; choose correct adjective.

× This beautiful scenery comes in I suddenly.

✓ This beautiful scenery suddenly appears before me.

Word order is incorrect and 'comes in I suddenly' is ungrammatical. Use 'suddenly appears before me' or 'suddenly comes into view'. Suggestion: place adverb 'suddenly' before verb or after auxiliary, and use natural expression 'comes into view'.

× I rather like to see mountain rather than uh see Mountain has the toll height so it widen in my sight.

✓ I prefer seeing mountains rather than the sea because mountains are tall and widen my view.

Original sentence has many structural and word choice errors: 'rather like to see mountain rather than uh see' should be 'prefer seeing mountains rather than the sea'. 'Mountain has the toll height' is incorrect; 'tall height' intended. 'so it widen in my sight' needs subject-verb agreement and natural phrasing: 'widen my view'. Suggestion: use 'prefer' for comparisons, plural 'mountains', include 'the sea' as contrast, correct adjectives and verb forms.