旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g., "work in car" -> "work in the car").

示例: I usually don't look out of the window when I travel by car because I work on my laptop to finish tasks. However, when I travel by bus, I enjoy looking outside because I can relax and notice interesting views like local streets or countryside.

建议: Improve grammar and add specific examples. Use a linking word to connect ideas and a clear reason why you take photos. Replace vague phrases like "the beautiful of the nature" with "natural beauty".

示例: Yes, I usually take photos when I travel because I want to remember new places. For example, I often photograph mountain ranges, coastal views, and dense forests to capture the natural beauty and share it with friends.

建议: Give a direct, grammatically correct preference sentence, then support it with specific reasons. Correct vocabulary ("parasite thing" likely meant "parasailing") and avoid fragmented phrases. Use linking words like "because" and "for example."

示例: I prefer the sea because I live in Indonesia and can easily visit beautiful beaches. For example, I enjoy seeing colorful corals and marine life, and I like beach activities such as surfing and parasailing.

× Usually if I travel using the car I don't look out the window because I often work in car with my laptop so I could finish all my works when I'm traveling.

✓ Usually, if I travel by car I don't look out the window because I often work in the car with my laptop, so I can finish all my work while I'm traveling.

Errors addressed: article use ('the car' and 'in the car' instead of 'using the car' and 'in car'), preposition ('by car' is the natural phrase), modal/tense ('could' changed to 'can' to match habitual present meaning), plural/uncountable noun ('works' changed to 'work'). Also added commas and 'while' to improve sentence structure and clarity. Suggestion: use 'by car' for mode of transport, use 'in the car' for location, use 'can' for ability in habitual context, and treat 'work' as uncountable when referring to tasks in general.

× But if I travel with bus I would love to see out the window.

✓ But if I travel by bus I would love to look out the window.

Use 'by bus' for the mode of transport rather than 'with bus', and the verb collocation is 'look out the window' rather than 'see out the window'. 'Would love to' is acceptable for preference. Suggestion: use correct prepositions for transport and standard verb phrases like 'look out the window'.

× When I'm traveling, yes, I usually take photos of the scenery.

✓ When I'm traveling, yes, I usually take photos of the scenery.

This sentence is grammatically correct; it uses present continuous for the travelling context and present simple for habitual action. No change needed. Explanation: keep present continuous for 'I'm traveling' and present simple 'usually take' for habitual action.

× I love to see the new places that I visit and to see the beautiful of the nature, especially when it's like mountains, seas, forests.

✓ I love to see the new places that I visit and to admire the beauty of nature, especially landscapes like mountains, seas, and forests.

Problems: 'to see the beautiful of the nature' is ungrammatical; use 'admire the beauty of nature'. 'Seas' and 'forests' are fine but list needs commas and 'and'. 'It's like' changed to 'landscapes like' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: use 'beauty of nature' and parallel noun forms in lists.

× I prefer to see and because I live in Indonesia, there are so many seas that I could enjoy and when I go to the sea I can see so many sea animals, corals and they also have so many activities on the beach that we could enjoy like parasite thing, surfing.

✓ I prefer the sea because I live in Indonesia and there are many beaches I can enjoy; when I go to the sea I can see many marine animals and corals, and there are many beach activities we can enjoy, such as parasailing and surfing.

Multiple issues: sentence fragmentation and unclear phrase 'I prefer to see and because'. Chose 'I prefer the sea' to answer question. Use 'beaches' rather than 'seas' when referring to places to enjoy. 'Could' changed to 'can' for habitual ability. 'Sea animals' better as 'marine animals', and 'parasite thing' is incorrect; intended activity is 'parasailing'. Also improved punctuation and cohesion. Suggestion: answer directly ('I prefer the sea'), use correct vocabulary for activities, and keep clauses connected clearly.