旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and avoid filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words (for example, because/so/which) and avoid asking the examiner questions. Also correct minor grammar (e.g., “I have car sickness” → “I get car sick”).

示例: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel because I get car sick and focusing on the horizon helps me feel better. In addition, watching the passing scenery gives me time to think and sometimes reminds me of past trips, which I find relaxing.

建议: Give a direct answer then explain with specific reasons. Reduce hesitations and replace vague phrases like “pay attention to the sensory” with clearer language (for example, “I enjoy the view” or “I focus on the scenery”). Use linking words (because/so/therefore) to connect ideas and correct grammar (e.g., “make me happy and relax” → “makes me happy and relaxed”).

示例: Sometimes I take photos of the scenery, but not always, because I prefer to enjoy the view in the moment. For example, when the light is especially beautiful I will take a quick picture, but usually I simply watch the landscape because it makes me feel calm and relaxed.

建议: Answer directly and then provide specific reasons with clearer vocabulary. Avoid repeating filler words and incorrect phrases like “beautiful sensory” and “makes me fresh.” Use adjectives correctly (e.g., “refreshing,” “relaxed,” “peaceful”) and link ideas with because/which/so.

示例: I prefer the sea because I love watching sunsets over the water, which I find very peaceful and refreshing. The colours and the gentle sound of the waves make me feel relaxed and help me forget daily stress.

× Yes I do, because I can say that I have a car sickness.

✓ Yes I do, because I can say that I have car sickness.

Use of the definite article 'a' before 'car sickness' is incorrect; 'car sickness' is an uncountable condition and does not take an indefinite article. Remove 'a' to be grammatically correct. Suggestion: say 'I have car sickness' or more naturally 'I get carsick'.

× Every time I'm on the bus or even on the plane, I always look at the scenery out of the window.

✓ Every time I'm on the bus or on the plane, I always look at the scenery out of the window.

Redundant 'even' is not strictly grammatical error but awkward; use parallel prepositions 'on the bus' and 'on the plane'. Also 'out of the window' is wordy; 'out the window' or 'from the window' preferred. Suggestion: 'I always look out the window at the scenery.'

× It's umm. It helped me to think about something new and to remind me about the past.

✓ It's... it helps me to think about new things and to remind me of the past.

Tense inconsistency: 'It's' (it is) present, then 'helped' past. Change to present 'helps'. 'Something new' vague; use plural 'new things'. Preposition 'remind me about' is awkward; 'remind me of' is correct. Suggestion: maintain present tense throughout.

× Yes I do sometimes because mostly I just umm, pay attention to the sensory about outsides of the car and to think about something else.

✓ Yes I do sometimes because mostly I just, umm, pay attention to the scenery outside the car and think about something else.

Incorrect words and prepositions: 'sensory' is wrong word; 'scenery' is correct. 'About outsides of the car' is ungrammatical; use 'outside the car' or 'outside the windows'. Also avoid 'to' before 'think' after 'and' when verbs share the same subject. Suggestion: 'pay attention to the scenery outside the car and think about something else.'

× So sometimes I can forget to take the photos.

✓ So sometimes I forget to take photos.

Modal 'can' is unnecessary here; simple present 'forget' better matches habitual action. Article 'the photos' implies specific photos; more natural to say 'photos' in general. Suggestion: 'I sometimes forget to take photos.'

× I just umm, look outside the windows and think about something that uh, make me happy and relax.

✓ I just, umm, look out the window and think about something that, uh, makes me happy and relaxes me.

Subject-verb agreement: 'something' is singular so verb must be 'makes' not 'make'. 'Relax' needs subject 'it' or reflexive; use 'relaxes me'. Also 'outside the windows' awkward; 'out the window' singular fits. Suggestion: maintain singular agreement and include object for 'relax'.

× I would say I prefer the sea because I like to watch the sunset, umm in the sea.

✓ I would say I prefer the sea because I like to watch the sunset over the sea.

Preposition and phrase: 'in the sea' is incorrect for viewing a sunset; use 'over the sea' or 'on the sea' depending on context. Also maintain present preference. Suggestion: 'watch the sunset over the sea.'

× That's a really beautiful sensory I have ever seen and I love this kind of beautiful view because it makes me fresh, relax and really peaceful.

✓ That's one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen and I love this kind of view because it makes me feel refreshed, relaxed and really peaceful.

Use of 'sensory' is incorrect; 'sight' or 'scene' fits. Grammar of superlative: 'really beautiful' plus 'I have ever seen' needs 'one of the most'. Also list of effects needs correct adjective forms and verbs: 'makes me fresh' incorrect — use 'feel refreshed'; 'relax' should be 'relaxed'. Suggestion: 'one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen... makes me feel refreshed, relaxed and peaceful.'