建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers and tense errors, and add one specific detail. Use linking words if adding details.

示例: Yes. There is a tall, modern building near my home in the Olympic Park in Beijing. I often see its glass facade on my way to work, and I especially like how it looks at sunset.

建议: Good content and clear opinion, but fix minor grammar and redundancy. Keep it within 3–4 sentences, use a linking word to connect reason, and give one concrete example of what you photograph.

示例: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing buildings because it helps me relax and recharge. For example, I often take pictures of old hutongs and modern skyscrapers to compare their architectural styles.

建议: Be specific: name a building you want to visit and give a reason. Reduce hesitation words and make one clear topic sentence followed by a supporting detail with a linking word.

示例: Yes. I would like to visit the China Zun tower because I have only seen it from a distance. In addition, I want to go to the observation deck to enjoy a panoramic view of Beijing.

建议: Clarify your reason and correct grammar. Give one clear topic sentence stating your preference, then one supporting reason with a linking word and a brief example. Remove vague phrases.

示例: No, I wouldn't like to live in a tall building because elevator waits can be inconvenient. For example, during rush hour I might have to wait ten minutes before I can go down, which would be annoying.

× Oh yeah, near my home there is a tall building in the Olympics Park in Beijing, and it's a very beautiful building I forever seen before and I can see it on my way to work.

✓ Oh yeah, near my home there is a tall building in the Olympic Park in Beijing, and it's a very beautiful building I have seen before and I can see it on my way to work.

The phrase 'I forever seen before' uses 'seen' without the required auxiliary 'have' for the present perfect tense. Use present perfect (have seen) to describe an experience at an unspecified time before now. Also 'Olympics Park' is corrected to 'Olympic Park' for proper name spelling. Suggestion: use 'I have seen' for completed experiences and check proper nouns. (Grammar problem type ID: 9).

× Taking photos of buildings is one of my favorite activities in my spare time because I think it's a great way to relax my self and give me more energy to face the problems in daily lives.

✓ Taking photos of buildings is one of my favorite activities in my spare time because I think it's a great way to relax myself and give me more energy to face the problems in daily life.

'my self' should be the single word 'myself' as the correct reflexive pronoun. 'give me more energy' is acceptable but better as 'give me more energy to face problems in daily life' (not 'daily lives'). Use 'daily life' when referring to everyday life in general. Suggestion: combine 'my self' into 'myself' and use 'daily life' for general reference. (Grammar problem type ID: 15).

× Yes, and uh, there are many beautiful and tall buildings in Beijing and I have uh, visited some of uh, them, but I will visit more if I have more time.

✓ Yes, there are many beautiful tall buildings in Beijing, and I have visited some of them, but I would visit more if I had more time.

The original contains filler words 'uh' and an awkward future conditional 'I will visit more if I have more time.' For a hypothetical situation about limited time, use the second conditional: 'I would visit more if I had more time.' Also remove unnecessary commas and filler. Suggestion: avoid fillers, use appropriate conditional tense for hypotheticals. (Grammar problem type ID: 26).

× Well, honestly, I don't want to live in a tall building because I think it's a little. Because I think it's not so convenient for myself to waiting with the elevator.

✓ Well, honestly, I don't want to live in a tall building because I think it's a bit inconvenient. I also think it's not convenient for me to wait for the elevator.

The phrase 'I think it's a little.' is incomplete and lacks an adjective; 'a little' needs a qualifier. 'Not so convenient for myself to waiting with the elevator' is ungrammatical: 'myself' is unnecessary and 'waiting' needs the infinitive 'to wait' and the preposition 'for' with 'elevator.' Revised to 'a bit inconvenient' and 'to wait for the elevator.' Suggestion: complete comparative phrases and use correct verb forms and prepositions; prefer 'me' instead of 'myself' in this context. (Grammar problem type ID: 26)