建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more natural and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific examples and a linking phrase. Avoid listing with commas only; use plural forms and articles correctly.

示例: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home. For example, there is a large shopping mall and a few hospitals and schools within walking distance, which makes the area feel very urban.

建议: Give a concise direct answer then add one clear reason and a specific example. Use linking words and avoid repetitive phrases. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

示例: Yes, I sometimes take photos of buildings, especially when I go out with my family or friends. I especially like photographing large or ornate buildings because their details and decorations make interesting pictures.

建议: Provide a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (conditional and article usage), and specific reasons with linking words. Avoid vague phrases and be concise. Mention one or two reasons why you want to visit.

示例: If I had the chance, I would like to visit the Inc Museum. I often see photos of it online and many people praise its unique architecture, so I am fascinated and would love to see the structure and exhibits in person.

建议: Answer directly then give a specific reason and a brief contrast using linking words. Correct repetitions and tense/grammar errors. Limit to 2–3 sentences for clarity.

示例: No, I would prefer to live in a house with a backyard close to nature. I lived in a condominium while I was an intern and found I missed outdoor space and quiet, so a house would suit me better.

× Yes, there are tall buildings near my home like shopping mall, hospital, schools.

✓ Yes, there are tall buildings near my home, such as a shopping mall, a hospital, and some schools.

The sentence lists countable nouns but mixes singular and plural without articles. Use 'a' for singular countable nouns and plural form for multiple items. Also 'such as' is more natural for examples. Suggestion: add articles before singular nouns and separate items with commas.

× Yes, sometimes I take photos of buildings when I go shopping with my family or sometimes with my friends I love to take photos of. Big buildings or anything fancy about the building?

✓ Yes, sometimes I take photos of buildings when I go shopping with my family, and sometimes I go with my friends; I love photographing big or architecturally interesting buildings.

Original has confused structure and repetition. Use gerund 'photographing' (or 'take photos of') properly and coordinate clauses with conjunctions and punctuation. Remove the fragment 'anything fancy about the building' and replace with 'architecturally interesting buildings' for clarity.

× If I would given a chance to visit A1 specific building, that would be the Inc Museum.

✓ If I were given a chance to visit a specific building, it would be the Inc Museum.

Conditional sentences with hypothetical present use the past subjunctive 'were' after 'if' rather than 'would'. Also remove unclear 'A1' and adjust word order: 'it would be' is natural for stating the choice.

× I always see it online and many people go there and visit it.

✓ I always see it online, and many people visit it.

Use simple present 'visit' rather than 'go there and visit' (redundant). Combine clauses with a comma and coordinate conjunction. 'See it online' is fine in present simple for habitual action.

× So be because it is also famous for its architecture and I am fascinated.

✓ It is also famous for its architecture, which fascinates me.

Original 'So be because' is incorrect. Use a relative clause 'which fascinates me' to explain why. This results in a concise, grammatical sentence.

× I prefer to live in a in a house with a backyard that is close to the nature because I've experience living in a tall building such as condominium when I was an intern.

✓ I prefer to live in a house with a backyard that is close to nature because I have experience living in a tall building, such as a condominium, when I was an intern.

Remove duplicate 'in a'. Use 'a house' (article needed), 'close to nature' (no 'the'), and 'I have experience' or 'I have experienced' for correct present perfect. Add articles and commas around 'such as a condominium'. Also 'condominium' needs 'a'.

× I've experience living in a tall building such as condominium when I was an intern.

✓ I have experience living in a tall building, such as a condominium, from when I was an intern.

Contraction 'I've experience' is incorrect; use 'I have experience' or 'I have experienced'. Also clarify timing: 'from when I was an intern' or 'when I was an intern' with simple past. Include articles and commas for clarity.