建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No plus brief reason), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid vague phrases and grammar errors (e.g., 'the place where I live is a developed town', 'many tourists come', 'they build many shops').

示例: Yes. The area where I live is quite developed, so there are many tall buildings and entertainment venues. For example, because many tourists visit, developers have built several shopping streets with clothing stores and restaurants.

建议: Organize the answer: give a clear topic sentence, then explain reasons and give one specific example. Use linking words ('especially', 'because', 'for example') correctly and avoid repetition. Correct grammar (a photo, unusual building designs).

示例: Yes, I often take photos of interesting buildings because I enjoy architectural design. For example, if a building has an unusual façade or striking colors, I’ll photograph it to remember the detail and later show it to friends.

建议: Give a clear, grammatically correct topic sentence naming the building, then support with specific reasons and a linking phrase. Correct tense and prepositions ('I studied in New York for two years', 'I have never been there'). Avoid slang ('wanna').

示例: Yes. I would like to visit the Empire State Building because I studied in New York for two years but never had the chance to go there. For example, I want to see the observation deck and admire the building’s classic Art Deco architecture.

建议: Answer directly, then give clear reasons with specific examples. Avoid informal contractions and repetition; use correct articles and plurality ('in a tall building', 'I have lived in tall buildings'). Clarify 'awkward situation' with a concrete example (noise, lack of privacy).

示例: Not really. I prefer living in a small house because I have lived in tall apartment blocks before and they were noisy. For instance, neighbors often made loud noises late at night, and I felt I had less privacy and more awkward encounters in shared spaces.

× Yes, as the like place where I live is about developed town, therefore there's a lot of buildings and entertainment.

✓ Yes, the area where I live is a fairly developed town, so there are a lot of buildings and entertainment options.

The original sentence has word order and connector problems and incorrect phrases ('as the like place', 'about developed town'). Use 'the area where I live' and 'a fairly developed town' for clarity, and connect clauses with 'so' (cause and effect). Also use 'there are' for plural noun 'buildings' (subject-verb agreement).

× On top of that, as the tourist come here lots, they just bid a lot of stores, clothing stores.

✓ On top of that, many tourists come here, so there are a lot of shops, including clothing stores.

Use correct plural noun 'tourists' and simpler structure. 'Come here lots' is informal and ungrammatical; use 'many tourists come here'. 'Bid a lot of stores' is incorrect word choice; 'there are a lot of shops' is correct. Clarify with 'including clothing stores.'

× Yes, especially if I see some extraordinary design buildings, then I usually take a photos for, uh, for the future 'cause I like taking photos of my friends, skies and families.

✓ Yes, especially if I see some extraordinarily designed buildings, I usually take photos for the future because I like taking photos of my friends, the sky, and my family.

Use plural 'photos' without an article. 'Extraordinary design buildings' is awkward: 'extraordinarily designed buildings' or 'buildings with extraordinary designs.' Remove filler 'then' and 'uh'. Use 'because' instead of ''cause'. Use correct countable nouns: 'the sky' (singular) and 'my family' instead of 'families.'

× Therefore I'm so used to taking pictures.

✓ Therefore I'm very used to taking pictures.

'So used to' is informal and often followed by a noun/gerund; 'very used to' or 'quite used to' is clearer. This corrects style rather than grammar, but improves naturalness.

× Yes, there's a building which is Empire State is what I really wanna visit.

✓ Yes, there is a building, the Empire State Building, that I really want to visit.

Use correct noun phrase 'the Empire State Building'. Remove colloquial 'wanna' -> 'want to'. Use a restrictive clause 'that I really want to visit.'

× It's because I've studied in the New York about two years.

✓ It's because I studied in New York for about two years.

'Studied in the New York' is incorrect: use 'studied in New York'. For a finished period, use simple past 'studied' and 'for about two years.' Present perfect 'I've studied' is acceptable only with no finished time, but 'about two years' suggests a completed past period, so simple past is better.

× However, I never been there, but I know it's really well known for beautiful sights and beautiful structures.

✓ However, I have never been there, but I know it's well known for its beautiful sights and structures.

Use present perfect 'have never been' for experience up to now. Add possessive 'its' and remove repeated 'beautiful'. Use 'structures' or 'architecture'.

× Not really I wanna live in this small like house.

✓ Not really. I want to live in a small house like this.

'Wanna' -> 'want to' (formal). Reorder clause to natural English: 'a small house like this.' Add punctuation. 'This small like house' is ungrammatical.

× It's because I've experienced living in this tall buildings.

✓ It's because I've experienced living in tall buildings.

Use plural 'buildings' without 'this' which refers to a specific single item. 'I've experienced living in tall buildings' is correct; 'experienced living' is acceptable though 'lived in tall buildings' is more natural.

× It was really noisy and I I don't want to face the awkward situation.

✓ They were really noisy, and I don't want to face awkward situations.

Match subject 'buildings' with plural verb 'were'. Remove duplicate 'I'. Use plural 'awkward situations' for general statement.

× I meet with neighbors and I feel like I have to say.

✓ I have to meet the neighbors and I feel like I must make conversation.

'Meet with neighbors' should be 'meet the neighbors' or 'meet my neighbors'. 'I feel like I have to say' is incomplete; specify 'make conversation' or 'say hello'. Use present simple or present perfect depending on meaning; here simple present 'I have to' expresses general obligation.