建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitations and repetitions, and use correct grammar and number agreement. Add one or two specific supporting details using a linking word (e.g., “for example” or “because”) to make the answer natural and informative.

示例: Yes. There are many tall buildings near my home because I live in a large city. For example, there are several apartment towers and office blocks along the main road, and a university building nearby.

建议: Be direct and avoid repeating the same idea. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two concise reasons with specific examples, using linking words like “because” or “so”. Keep length under five sentences.

示例: Not really. I prefer photographing nature because it feels peaceful and colorful. For example, I often take pictures of trees and flowers in the park because their shapes and colours are calming.

建议: Good clear answer and reason—make it slightly more formal and specific. Use a topic sentence, then add a precise reason or personal detail, avoid casual contractions like “wanna”, and limit to three sentences for naturalness.

示例: Yes. I would like to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai because it is the tallest building in the world. I am curious to see its design and the panoramic views from the observation deck.

建议: Give a direct preference first, then contrast with one clear reason for the alternative. Avoid filler words and be grammatically consistent (e.g., singular/plural, verb forms). Use linking words such as “however” or “although” to show contrast.

示例: I would prefer to live in a small bungalow in the countryside because I want to keep pets and enjoy quiet surroundings. However, I can see why a tall building might be convenient, as it would offer modern facilities and closer neighbours.

× Yes, uh, tall buildings near her near my home exist because I live in a a big city with umm a huge population rate and there are a lot of tall buildings which has like faculty faculties inside and has work places inside like offices. So yes I do.

✓ Yes, there are tall buildings near my home because I live in a big city with a large population, and many of the tall buildings contain offices and faculty spaces. So yes, I do.

The student used 'her' incorrectly instead of the possesive 'my' (Incorrect use of pronouns). There are multiple issues: redundant words ('a a', 'umm'), awkward phrase 'population rate' (use 'population' or 'large population'), subject-verb mismatch with 'buildings which has' (plural subject requires plural verb). Suggestions: use 'there are' to introduce existence, replace 'her' with 'my', remove fillers and duplicates, use 'contain' or 'have' matched to plural 'buildings', and 'faculty spaces' or 'departments' instead of 'faculty faculties'.

× I cannot quite say that I take photos of buildings because I'd rather take photos of the nature, because taking photos of the nature reminds me how peaceful the harmony of the trees and the flowers and the fresh colors of the beauty. So I believe taking photos of the nature is better.

✓ I don't usually take photos of buildings because I'd rather photograph nature; taking photos of nature reminds me of the peaceful harmony of the trees and flowers and their fresh colors. So I prefer taking photos of nature.

'Cannot quite say' is awkward for habitual action; use 'don't usually' (Modal verb usage / expression). 'The nature' is incorrect article use; 'nature' is uncountable and does not need 'the' here. Repetition and wordiness ('the fresh colors of the beauty') should be simplified. Suggestions: use 'photograph' or 'take photos of', avoid 'the' before 'nature', replace long phrase with concise, natural expressions.

× Yes, I want to go to Dubai and I want to see the Burj Khalifa, which is the tallest building ever in the world. I wanna go there because I believe that seeing that building would be fascinating and everybody says that it is amazing. So I wanna see that building in real life.

✓ Yes, I want to go to Dubai and see the Burj Khalifa, which is the tallest building in the world. I want to go because I believe seeing it would be fascinating and everyone says it is amazing, so I want to see it in real life.

'The tallest building ever in the world' is redundant; 'in the world' suffices (article and redundancy issue). 'Wanna' is informal; use 'want to' in a test. 'Everybody' can be 'everyone'. Suggestions: remove redundancy, use formal contractions, and use consistent pronouns ('it') to avoid repetition.

× My dream is to have a little village like a bungalow in the nature which I will have like pets, but I can sometimes prefer living in a tall building because it would be more comfortable I can say because and I will have so much more neighbor.

✓ My dream is to have a small bungalow in nature where I can keep pets, but sometimes I would prefer living in a tall building because it might be more comfortable and I would have many more neighbors.

'A little village like a bungalow in the nature' misuses quantifiers and articles; 'a bungalow' or 'a small house' is better (Incorrect use of quantifiers and article errors). 'Like' is overused; use clearer structures. 'So much more neighbor' is incorrect; use 'many more neighbors' (plural and quantifier). Also tense/modal consistency: 'would prefer' fits hypothetical. Suggestions: simplify to 'a small bungalow in nature', use 'pets' correctly, replace 'so much more neighbor' with 'many more neighbors', and use 'would' for hypothetical preference.