建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 질문에 직접 답하는 문장으로 시작하고 불필요한 말은 줄이세요. 예를 들어 ‘First of all’ 대신 간단히 ‘Yes’ 혹은 ‘No’로 시작한 뒤 구체적인 수치와 위치를 연결해 설명하세요. 문법적으로 ‘a few’와 ‘stairs’ 사용이 부정확합니다. ‘a few tall buildings with more than 20 floors’ 혹은 ‘no buildings taller than 50 storeys’처럼 정확한 단어를 쓰고, 문장을 2~3개로 간결하게 구성하세요.

示例: Yes. There are a few tall buildings near my home, mostly around 20 storeys high. However, there aren’t any buildings taller than 50 storeys in my neighborhood.

建议: 의도를 명확히 표현하고 어색한 표현은 고치세요. ‘I saw’ 대신 현재 습관을 말할 때는 ‘I sometimes take photos’가 자연스럽습니다. ‘I took that moment as a poodle’는 의미가 불분명하므로 삭제하거나 정확한 표현으로 바꾸세요. 재료에 감명받았다는 점을 말할 때는 구체적인 재료와 이유를 덧붙이세요.

示例: Yes, I sometimes take photos of interesting buildings. I’m often attracted to unusual materials, such as exposed concrete or glass facades, because they create a striking texture and light effect.

建议: 답변을 명확한 구조로 만드세요: 질문에 대한 직접적인 답(예: ‘Yes, I would like to visit…’) → 건물의 이름/건축가 → 구체적인 이유. 건축가 이름과 사실 관계를 확인하고 문법적 오류를 피하세요. 예: ‘Tadao Ando’와 같은 정확한 이름, ‘he used natural light’와 같은 올바른 표현을 사용하세요. 또한 1~2개의 구체적 이유(공간감, 빛 사용 등)를 덧붙이세요.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit the Church of the Light by Tadao Ando. I admire how he uses natural light and concrete to create a simple but powerful spiritual atmosphere.

建议: 간결하고 자연스럽게 이유를 제시하세요. 반복되는 표현(‘I can't find I can't find’)을 피하고, 긍정적 이유와 가능하면 한 가지 단점을 균형 있게 언급하면 더 설득력 있습니다. 연결어를 사용해 흐름을 좋게 만드세요.

示例: Yes. I currently live in a tall building and I like it because of the great views and convenient facilities. Although there can be occasional noise or elevator delays, overall I prefer living in a high-rise and would like to continue doing so in the future.

× There are few tall buildings over 20 stairs.

✓ There are a few tall buildings with more than 20 stairs.

The sentence needs the article 'a' before 'few' to indicate some buildings (a few = 몇몇). Also use 'with more than 20 stairs' for correct preposition and comparison; 'over' is acceptable but 'more than' is clearer here. Use 'stairs' is odd for storeys—consider 'stories'.

× However there aren't any over 50 stairs building nearby my home.

✓ However, there aren't any buildings with over 50 stairs near my home.

Word order and article usage are incorrect: 'over 50 stairs building' should be 'buildings with over 50 stairs' or 'a building with over 50 stairs'. Also use 'near' instead of 'nearby' before 'my home' or 'near my home'. Add a comma after 'However'.

× Yes, sometimes I saw fabulous structure and fascinating architecture.

✓ Yes, sometimes I see fabulous structures and fascinating architecture.

The time adverb 'sometimes' requires present simple 'see' for habitual actions. Also use plural 'structures' to match general reference. Article and number corrected.

× I took that moment as a poodle.

✓ I captured that moment with my camera.

The original sentence is semantically and structurally incorrect: 'took that moment as a poodle' is meaningless. Likely intended 'took a photo' or 'captured the moment'. Use 'captured that moment with my camera' for clarity.

× And especially I'm impressed by material, unusual material.

✓ I'm especially impressed by the materials, especially unusual ones.

Word order and repetition are awkward. Use 'impressed by the materials' and 'unusual ones' to refer back to materials. Include the definite article 'the' or restructure to 'I'm especially impressed by unusual materials.'

× As I have one as the church which was built by Andu Tadao, he didn't use any artificial light that but he scratched it shaped by cross.

✓ There is a church built by Ando Tadao that I would like to visit; he didn't use any artificial light and he sculpted shapes in the walls in the form of crosses.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear. Fix subject placement: 'There is a church...' Correct the name 'Ando Tadao' to 'Ando Tadao' or 'Tadao Ando' (commonly 'Tadao Ando'). Use 'didn't use any artificial light' and clarify 'he sculpted' or 'he created' shapes in the walls shaped like crosses. Use semicolons or separate clauses for clarity.

× As I have one as the church which was built by Andu Tadao, he didn't use any artificial light that but he scratched it shaped by cross. So the visitor.

✓ As I have one: the church which was built by Tadao Ando. He didn't use any artificial light, and he carved shapes of crosses into the walls, so visitors are impressed.

Multiple issues: 'visitor.' fragment needs completion. Use third person singular/plural agreement 'visitors are impressed'. Correct name order and verb forms: 'carved' past tense is fine because church was built in past; keep coherence.

× Yes actually I've been living in a tall building now and I can't find I can't find any cons about it.

✓ Yes, actually I've been living in a tall building for a while now, and I can't find any cons about it.

Use present perfect continuous 'I've been living' is fine with 'for a while now' to indicate duration; add 'for a while' if needed. Remove duplicate 'I can't find'. 'Cons about it' is informal but acceptable; 'disadvantages' is more formal.

× So I want to live in a tall building in future also.

✓ So I want to continue living in a tall building in the future as well.

Use 'in the future' with the definite article and 'as well' for 'also'. 'Continue living' clarifies ongoing desire; 'in future' is nonstandard in this context.