建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Говорите более прямо и структурировано: начните с краткого прямого ответа на вопрос, затем добавьте одну-две конкретные детали. Избегайте повторов и наполнителей («uh», «well») и следите за согласованием чисел и артиклей (a/the). Используйте связки (for example, for instance, also) чтобы помочь структуре. Ограничьте ответ до 3–4 предложений.

示例: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home in Dushanbe. For example, a newly designed apartment complex was recently built close to my street. It has modern flats and stands out because of its glass facade and unusual shape.

建议: Будьте яснее и короче: сначала ответьте да или нет прямо, затем приведите конкретный пример привычки. Избегайте противоречий и лишних фраз. Работайте над правильными предлогами (take a photo of, post on Instagram) и над согласованием времен.

示例: I sometimes take photos of buildings, especially at night. For example, when I walk with friends in the evening I often photograph interesting façades and post them on Instagram.

建议: Отвечайте конкретно: назовите здание и объясните, почему вы хотите его посетить. Дайте одну-две причины и, возможно, одну деталь о том, что вы там сделаете. Избегайте неопределённых фраз и ошибок в словосочетаниях (visit a building, young people).

示例: Yes, I would like to visit the town plaza building, which is very popular in my city. Many young people go there to take photos, and I want to see its modern interior and take pictures myself.

建议: Дайте ясный прямой ответ, затем добавьте 1–2 конкретные причины и план. Используйте правильные формы (live in a tall building, buy a flat, move there) и избегайте повторяющихся слов и заполнителей. Упорядочьте идеи логично: желание → причина → шаги.

示例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building, especially the new town flats in my city. I think they are modern and safe, and I am saving money so that my family and I can buy a flat there in the future.

× Well, right now I live in the Dushanbe, which is the capital of Tajikistan and Edushanbe, where I live near my home has a girdle of building, for example, a new building with a new design, a new structure when they are starting to the building, a new, uh, flat and new things. Where I, I live near my home has a great Dallas building owing to his.

✓ Well, right now I live in Dushanbe, which is the capital of Tajikistan. In Dushanbe, near my home there is a group of buildings, for example a new building with a modern design and new flats.

The definite article 'the' is not used with most city names in English (use 'in Dushanbe'). The original also misuses 'the' before 'building' phrases and has many sentence-structure issues; I corrected to a clear sentence using 'there is' to indicate existence and removed unnecessary articles. Suggestion: do not use 'the' before proper city names and use 'there is/there are' for existence.

× Where I, I live near my home has a great Dallas building owing to his.

✓ Near my home there is a large apartment building.

The original sentence incorrectly combines clauses and misuses word order for existence. Use the standard 'There is/There are' construction plus correct adjective order: 'a large apartment building'. Also replace unclear words like 'Dallas' and 'owing to his' with clear nouns. Suggestion: form existence sentences as 'There is/There are + noun'.

× Well, in my opinion, I believe that I am not a checking photo from their building.

✓ Well, in my opinion, I do not usually take photos of buildings.

The phrase 'a checking photo' is ungrammatical; 'checking' is misused as a noun. Use the verb phrase 'take photos' in simple present for habitual actions. Suggestion: use 'do not take' or 'do not usually take' for negative habitual actions.

× However, at night when I'm traveling near the building, I will take photo from me and from my building and after that I post in Instagram for that 100 percentage.

✓ However, at night when I am near a building, I take photos of myself and the building and then I post them on Instagram.

Pronouns and possessive forms were incorrect: 'photo from me' should be 'photos of myself'; 'from my building' is better as 'the building' or 'my building'. 'Post in Instagram' should be 'post them on Instagram'. Also use plural 'photos' and 'post them' to match. Suggestion: match pronouns (myself) and use correct preposition 'on Instagram'.

× When I am at night traveling when I am alone with my friend, after that I prefer to take photo from the building and puts in a history and great design show to everybody.

✓ When I am traveling at night alone or with a friend, I prefer to take photos of the building and put them in my story to show the design to everybody.

Tense and verb agreement errors: 'puts' should be 'put' to match 'I prefer to'. Word order 'at night traveling' is awkward; use 'traveling at night'. 'In a history' should be 'in my story' (social media context). Suggestion: keep verbs consistent and ensure subject-verb agreement after expressions like 'prefer to'.

× Well, it's a wonderful question I would like to answer like this has in my country a great deal of building.

✓ Well, that's a good question. I would answer that there are many notable buildings in my country.

The original sentence has poor structure and incorrect word order. Use 'there are' to indicate quantity and 'many' for countable plural nouns. Suggestion: break into two sentences for clarity and use 'there are many buildings' for existence.

× I'm not visiting there.

✓ I am not currently there.

The verb 'visiting' requires a direct object (visit a place), but the intended meaning seems to be 'I am not there' or 'I am not currently in my country'. 'Not visiting there' is ambiguous. Suggestion: use 'I am not currently in my country' if meaning absence.

× Every, uh, young generation and a medium generation go there for taking picture owing to I would like to go there.

✓ Many young people and middle-aged people go there to take pictures, so I would like to go there too.

'Young generation'/'medium generation' are incorrect; use 'young people'/'middle-aged people'. 'Go there for taking picture' should be 'go there to take pictures'. 'Owing to' is misused; use 'so' or 'because'. Suggestion: use correct noun phrases and infinitive 'to take pictures'.

× However, I'm not in my country after a few days, I would like to go there.

✓ However, I am currently not in my country; after a few days I would like to go there.

Tense and time expressions were mixed. Use 'currently not in my country' for present absence and 'after a few days I would like to go there' for future intention. Suggestion: separate present condition and future intention into clearer clauses.

× Well, I would like to live in a tall buildings, uh, town's flat, which is a popular building and a new designed building in my country.

✓ Well, I would like to live in a tall building, like the town's flats, which are popular and newly designed in my country.

Mixing singular 'a' with plural 'buildings' is incorrect. Use singular 'a tall building' or plural without 'a'. 'New designed' should be 'newly designed' and agreement for 'flats' requires plural verbs. Suggestion: ensure article and noun number match and use adverb 'newly' for 'designed'.

× Right now. He's finished, uh, designed it and, uh, building 0, uh, after that I would like to live with my family there and, uh, I'm, uh, trying to find money to buy a flat there and leave.

✓ Right now it is finished and fully designed. After that I would like to live there with my family, and I am trying to save money to buy a flat there and live.

Fragmented sentences and unclear references: 'He's finished' should be 'it is finished' referring to the building. 'Building 0' is unclear and removed. 'Find money to buy a flat and leave' likely meant 'live'. Use 'save money' for intent. Suggestion: combine fragments into coherent sentences and use correct verbs like 'save' and 'live'.