建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Begin with a clear, direct topic sentence, then give concise, specific supporting details. Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, possessives) and avoid redundancy. Use linking words (for example, because) and finish sentences completely. Keep answers under five sentences.

示例: Yes, there is a tall apartment building near my house. It mainly provides rooms for professionals and students, such as teachers and nurses. For example, many tenants are postgraduate students who stay there during term time. Because it is tall, the rooftop offers incredible views of the whole neighborhood.

建议: Start with a direct statement, then give one or two specific reasons or examples. Improve grammar (plural/singular, word order) and use linking words like because or especially. Avoid fillers such as “uh” and keep sentences concise.

示例: Yes, I love photographing buildings because their shapes and details are interesting. For example, I often take pictures of tall buildings from rooftops to capture the skyline and the surrounding neighborhood.

建议: Answer directly and give clear, specific details: name or type of building, distance, and why you want to visit. Avoid vague phrases and filler words. Use correct grammar and clearer vocabulary to describe appearance and lighting.

示例: Yes, I dream of visiting a colorful cultural center about 12 kilometres from my home. It is famous for its illuminated façade, and at night the lights make the building shine, creating a spectacular view.

建议: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with specific reasons. Use correct conditional forms and avoid repetition. Replace vague phrases like “you know” with concrete explanations. Keep it concise (max five sentences).

示例: No, I would not like to live in a tall building. I think I would stay indoors too much because going up and down frequently feels inconvenient. For that reason, I prefer living near the shore where I can easily go outside and enjoy open spaces.

× Yes, there is a tall building nearby my house.

✓ Yes, there is a tall building near my house.

Use of 'nearby' as an adverb/adjective is incorrect with 'my house' in this structure. 'Nearby' commonly stands alone (There is a tall building nearby) or 'near my house' is used to modify relationship to the house. Change to 'near my house' for correct prepositional phrase.

× It is used to rent their room for people who need example teachers, doctors, nurse or students etcetera.

✓ It is used to rent rooms to people such as teachers, doctors, nurses, or students.

Pronoun 'their' is incorrect because the subject is a building; use 'rooms' and a passive construction 'is used to rent rooms to' or active 'offers rooms to'. Also 'example' is wrong; use 'such as' and pluralize 'nurse' to 'nurses'. This corrects noun number and preposition usage.

× And the view when we reach at the top of the building is incredible because we can see the whole neighborhood when we.

✓ The view when we reach the top of the building is incredible because we can see the whole neighborhood.

Remove incorrect preposition 'at' after 'reach' (use 'reach the top') and incomplete clause 'when we.' End the sentence after 'neighborhood.' This fixes sentence fragmentation and preposition misuse.

× Yes, I love to take photos of building, especially the buildings are so beautiful to see and uh I would more love to take photos of tall building where I stand top of the building and take the view of the neighborhood areas.

✓ Yes, I love to take photos of buildings, especially tall ones; I especially like to take photos from the top of a building to capture the neighborhood.

Use plural 'buildings' instead of singular 'building' when speaking generally. Remove redundant and awkward phrases ('are so beautiful to see', 'I would more love'). Use concise structure: 'take photos of buildings' and 'from the top of a building.' Also 'neighborhood areas' is redundant; use 'neighborhood.'

× Yes, there is a building that was that I am dreaming too much to visit it.

✓ Yes, there is a building that I dream of visiting.

Avoid awkward 'was that I am dreaming too much to visit it.' Use present simple 'I dream of visiting' or 'I have been dreaming of visiting.' Remove extra pronoun 'it' at the end. This fixes incorrect tense and redundant structure.

× It is 12 kilometer away from my home and it is so beautiful when colors are put on it and the night view is so excellent because the building is, you know, shine or a thin.

✓ It is 12 kilometers away from my home, and it looks beautiful when it is lit up at night; the building shines.

Pluralize 'kilometer' to 'kilometers.' 'When colors are put on it' is awkward; use 'when it is lit up' or 'when lights are on.' Replace 'so excellent' with natural phrasing 'looks beautiful' or 'the night view is excellent.' 'The building is... shine or a thin' is incorrect — use 'the building shines.' Fixes include pluralization, preposition use, and verb form.

× I don't like to live in a tall building because if I have I have gotten a chance to live in it, I would be would be always in my room and I won't be going outside so much because, you know, it is so hard to climb up and climb down.

✓ I don't want to live in a tall building because if I had the chance to live in one, I would probably stay in my room and not go out much, since it is hard to go up and down so many stairs.

Correct conditional: use 'if I had the chance' (second conditional) and 'I would probably' rather than repeated 'would be would be.' Use 'stay in my room' and 'not go out much.' 'Climb up and climb down' is wordy; use 'go up and down' or 'navigate many stairs.' This fixes modal/conditional structure and awkward repetition.

× So I prefer staying at the shore, you know.

✓ So I prefer living by the shore.

Use 'by the shore' or 'on the coast' instead of 'at the shore.' 'Prefer staying' is acceptable but 'prefer living' fits context better. This corrects preposition choice and improves natural phrasing.