建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail or reason using a linking word. Limit your answer to 2–3 sentences and correct minor phrasing (e.g., say “residential buildings” once).

示例: Yes, there are several tall residential buildings near my home. For example, most of them are apartment towers where many families live, and my own home is one of those high-rise blocks.

建议: Clarify your meaning and avoid unclear or incorrect words (e.g., “harassed buildings” is wrong). Give a brief reason using a linking word. Keep it natural and to the point (1–2 sentences).

示例: Not usually. Because I grew up surrounded by city buildings, they no longer seem special to me, so I rarely take photos of them.

建议: Finish your thought and be specific about which building and why. Use linking words to connect ideas and give one or two clear reasons. Avoid incomplete sentences.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit the tallest skyscraper in my city because it is in the central business district and offers an observation deck with panoramic views of the area.

建议: Use correct vocabulary (replace “harassed” with “high‑rise” or “tall”). Be concise and give specific benefits with a linking word. Reduce repetition and grammatical errors.

示例: Yes, I would like to keep living in a high‑rise building because it is close to many shops and restaurants, so I can easily explore different places in the city.

× They are mainly for residential use and my home is also a tall building.

✓ They are mainly for residential use, and my home is also a tall building.

Sentence needed a coordinating conjunction with a comma to join two independent clauses; this is a punctuation/structure issue related to 'there is/are' clause usage and sentence structure. Add a comma before 'and' to improve clarity and correctness.

× Not really, I don't. I don't take photos of harassed buildings because I have, uh, grown in a city.

✓ Not really, I don't. I don't take photos of tall buildings because I have, uh, grown up in a city.

The student used 'grown' incorrectly without the particle 'up.' 'Grow up' is the correct phrasal verb meaning 'be raised.' Use the base form 'grown' only with an auxiliary (have grown up). Here the structure 'I have grown up' would be correct, but the simplest correction is 'I have grown up in a city.' Alternatively, 'I grew up in a city' (past tense) also works. Also 'harassed' is incorrect word choice; likely meant 'tall.' Replace with 'tall'.

× That's all of them from since my birth. So that I have been.

✓ Those are all the buildings I've known since my birth.

Original sentences are ungrammatical and unclear. 'From since' is redundant; use 'since' alone. 'So that I have been' is incomplete. Use present perfect 'I've known' or 'I have seen' to express experience from birth until now. Also 'them' is vague; 'the buildings' is clearer.

× Yes, it's a tall building in my city and it's located in the central area which all the financial commercial buildings are nearby.

✓ Yes, it's a tall building in my city, and it's located in the central area where many financial and commercial buildings are nearby.

Use 'where' to introduce the location clause, not 'which.' 'All the financial commercial buildings are nearby' is awkward; 'many financial and commercial buildings are nearby' is more natural. Add a comma before 'and' to join clauses.

× There are a lot of.

✓ There are a lot of them.

Original fragment lacks an object; 'a lot of' must be completed (e.g., 'a lot of them' or 'a lot of shops'). This is a sentence structure error; provide the missing noun or pronoun.

× Yes, I would like to continue to live in a harassed building because in a in a city where where it's full of harassed buildings, we I can explore many different kinds of shops and restaurant.

✓ Yes, I would like to continue living in a tall building because in a city full of tall buildings, I can explore many different kinds of shops and restaurants.

Multiple issues: 'harassed' is incorrect word choice; 'tall' is intended. Use gerund 'living' after 'continue' (continue living). Remove duplicated words ('in a in a', 'where where'). Use 'I can' not 'we I can.' 'Shops and restaurant' needs plural 'restaurants.' This correction addresses verb form (gerund) and sentence structure problems.