建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct word choice (e.g. 'not' instead of 'now'), and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid repetition.

示例: No, there aren’t any tall buildings near my home. I live in a small city, so most structures are medium-sized houses. However, you can find a few taller apartment blocks on the outskirts, next to the industrial area.

建议: Organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and two concise supporting details. Use correct tense and smoother linking words. Be specific about what fascinates you and give a short reason or example.

示例: Yes, I often take photos of buildings that interest me. For example, I photograph unusual facades and historical details because I enjoy architectural patterns and textures. I usually save the best shots on my phone to review later.

建议: Good clear answer and specific building. Improve fluency by removing fillers, choosing accurate words (e.g. 'skyscraper'), and adding one reason or detail using a linking word.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai. It is the world’s tallest skyscraper and, because of its design and observation deck, I want to see the city views from the top and learn about its construction.

建议: Clarify and correct contradictions ('small building' vs 'upper apartments'). Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give one specific reason with a linking word. Keep sentences compact and grammatical.

示例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building, preferably in an upper-floor apartment. This is because higher floors usually offer better views of the surrounding greenery and less street noise.

× Umm no. I live in a very small city, so here there are now very tall buildings.

✓ Umm no. I live in a very small city, so there are not very tall buildings here.

The speaker uses 'now' incorrectly; the intended meaning is general present absence, so use 'not' with correct word order ('there are not...here'). Also move 'here' to the end for natural English word order.

× There are medium sized houses and buildings wherever there are tall buildings on the outskirts of my hometown.

✓ There are medium-sized houses and buildings; the tall buildings are on the outskirts of my hometown.

Original sentence is confusing and has run-on structure. Use a clearer structure and hyphenate 'medium-sized'. Separate the two ideas with a semicolon or period for clarity.

× Yes, the buildings that I find fascinating, I always captured them in my mobile phone as a memory.

✓ Yes, the buildings that I find fascinating I always capture on my mobile phone as a memory.

The sentence mixes present ('I find') with past ('captured'). Keep tense consistent by using present simple 'capture' for habitual action. Use 'on my mobile phone' and remove unnecessary commas.

× I have a habit of collecting different and unique things and I always look at detail, no ends of everything.

✓ I have a habit of collecting different and unique things, and I always pay attention to details and never get tired of looking at them.

Original has awkward phrases ('look at detail', 'no ends of everything'). Use natural collocations: 'pay attention to details' and 'never get tired of' to express continuous interest.

× And yes, I like to capture different and things.

✓ And yes, I like to capture different things.

Redundant word 'and' before 'things' creates ungrammatical phrase. Remove the extra word for a concise sentence.

× Yes, there is a particular building that I would like to visit and it is Burj Khalifa, which is located in the city of Dubai.

✓ Yes, there is a particular building that I would like to visit: the Burj Khalifa, which is located in the city of Dubai.

Use the definite article 'the' with named landmarks like 'the Burj Khalifa'. Use a colon or rephrase to introduce the specific building.

× It's uh, incredibly tall and a sleek skycraft dominating the skyline and it's quite a very famous all over the world.

✓ It's incredibly tall and a sleek skyscraper dominating the skyline, and it's very famous all over the world.

'Skycraft' is incorrect; correct word is 'skyscraper'. Remove redundant modifiers 'quite a very' and use 'very famous' or 'quite famous'. Also improve punctuation for clarity.

× I would like to visit and explore more about it.

✓ I would like to visit it and learn more about it.

Use 'visit it' and 'learn more about it' for natural phrasing; 'explore more about it' is unnatural in English.

× Yes, I would love to live in a small building, especially in the upper apartments as the more the apartment is high, the more beautiful scenery it will provide.

✓ Yes, I would love to live in a building, especially in an upper apartment, because the higher the apartment is, the more beautiful the scenery will be.

'Small building' contradicts 'upper apartments'; likely want 'a building'. Use 'an upper apartment' (singular) and correct comparative structure: 'the higher...the more...'. Also use 'scenery will be' instead of 'it will provide.'

× Of the surroundings.

✓ I mean the surrounding area.

'Of the surroundings' is a sentence fragment without a verb. Provide a complete phrase 'the surrounding area' and integrate it into the previous sentence.

× I would love to be in a building that is surrounded by beautiful view, especially the greenery.

✓ I would love to be in a building that is surrounded by a beautiful view, especially greenery.

Use the indefinite article 'a' with 'beautiful view' and remove 'the' before 'greenery' for general reference. 'Greenery' does not need 'the' here.