建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 문장이 명확하지 않고 문법 및 어휘 사용에 오류가 많습니다. 질문에 바로 답하는 주제 문장(예: Yes, there are tall buildings near my home.)을 먼저 말하고, 그 다음에 구체적인 세부사항(예: 몇 층인지, 어느 거리나 동네에 있는지, 그것들이 도시에 미치는 영향 등)을 연결어(예: because, for example, so)로 자연스럽게 덧붙이세요. 불필요한 반복과 의미가 불분명한 표현(예: "my whole time is up totally")은 피하고 간단한 문장으로 명확히 표현하는 연습을 하세요.

示例: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home. For example, there are a few apartment towers about 20 to 25 stories high within a ten-minute walk. Because my hometown is part of the capital region, the area feels urban and busy.

建议: 대답이 문법적으로 거의 이해가 되지 않습니다. 질문에는 간단히 'Yes' 또는 'No'로 시작한 뒤 이유나 빈도(예: rarely, sometimes)를 덧붙이세요. 이유를 말할 때는 명확한 연결어(for example, because, so)와 구체적 이유(예: I'm not interested, I forget my camera, I prefer nature 사진 등)를 사용하세요.

示例: No, I don't usually take photos of buildings. I prefer taking pictures of nature and people, and I rarely carry a good camera when I walk around the city.

建议: 의도가 불명확하고 문장구조와 어휘 선택이 부정확합니다. 질문에 직접 답한 뒤 방문하고 싶은 특정 건물(예: a museum, a skyscraper, an iconic tower)을 말하고 이유와 구체적 세부사항(예: what interests you about it, how high it is, when you want to go)으로 보충하세요. 연결어(for example, because, such as)를 사용해 문장이 자연스럽게 이어지도록 연습하세요.

示例: Yes, I'd like to visit the main city museum. For example, it has a modern observatory on the sixth floor and I want to see the architecture and the city view from there.

建议: 의견은 제시되었으나 표현이 어색하고 반복이 많습니다. 먼저 명확한 주제문장을 사용하세요(e.g. Yes, I would like to live in a tall building.). 그 다음에 이유(views, convenience, facilities)와 비교(현재 거주하는 곳과의 차이)를 덧붙이세요. 연결어(because, so, although)를 사용해 논리적으로 이어지게 하고, 불필요한 반복을 피하세요.

示例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building. Because I currently live in a low-rise apartment of about six floors, I want a taller building for better views and more modern facilities.

× Yes, my whole time is up totally to our buildings, my hometown. You saw uh. Uh, the capital of Korea, so. It is big city.

✓ Yes. I grew up in this town; my hometown. You know, the capital of Korea is a big city.

The original response has several sentence structure and cohesion problems: incorrect phrases ('my whole time is up totally to our buildings') and sentence fragments ('You saw uh. Uh, the capital of Korea, so.'). These cause confusion about the intended meaning. Correct by using clear clauses: 'I grew up in this town; my hometown.' Use 'You know' to connect to the listener, and form a complete sentence 'the capital of Korea is a big city.' Improve fluency by removing filler words and ensuring each clause has a subject and verb.

× No, they didn't take a photo because targeting is. Nanny.

✓ No, I don't take photos of buildings because my nanny said not to.

This sentence has unclear subjects and tense mismatches. 'They didn't take a photo' does not match the question asking about the student's habit. 'Targeting is. Nanny.' is unintelligible. To answer habitually, use present simple: 'I don't take photos.' If the reason involves another person, make it explicit: 'because my nanny said not to.' This gives clear subject, verb, and reason.

× Sure, I'd like to leave a tour building because my airport is a short building, maybe 6th floor.

✓ Sure, I'd like to visit a tall building because the building near my apartment is short, only about six floors.

The original has wrong verbs and confused nouns: 'leave a tour building' and 'my airport is a short building' are incorrect. Use 'visit a tall building' to express desire to go somewhere. Clarify the reason by saying 'the building near my apartment is short, only about six floors.' Use 'six floors' rather than '6th floor' to describe height.

× Sure. As I told you, I live in. I live in short buildings, maybe 6th floor. So I'd like to live in big apart.

✓ Sure. As I told you, I live in a low-rise building, about six floors. So I'd like to live in a big apartment building.

This reply contains sentence fragments ('As I told you, I live in.') and incorrect word choices ('short buildings', 'big apart'). Use 'low-rise building' or 'a building with about six floors' to describe a short building. Use 'apartment building' or 'apartment' for the place to live. Ensure full sentences with subject and verb for clarity.