建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more grammatical, concise and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers and repetition, correct verb tense and word forms, and add one specific supporting detail using a linking phrase. For example, say you live in a commercial district and mention a specific building type or landmark.

示例: Yes. I live in the town centre, so there are several tall office buildings nearby. For example, the new glass tower next to the shopping mall dominates the skyline, which makes the area feel very urban.

建议: Give a clear, grammatically correct statement about whether you photograph buildings, explain why with a specific reason, and avoid vague phrases and filler words. Use one linking word to connect reason and example.

示例: Yes, I often photograph buildings because I work as a photographer and appreciate architectural detail. For instance, I recently spent several hours shooting the UH-12 building to capture its interesting façade and light at different times of day.

建议: Begin with a direct topic sentence naming the building, then give two specific reasons why you want to visit, using linking words (for example, because, also). Correct grammar (superlative and articles) and avoid vague adjectives like "beautiful" without detail.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit the Burj Khalifa because it is the tallest skyscraper in the world and offers spectacular views of Dubai. Also, I'm interested in its engineering and design, so I would like to see the observation deck and learn about how it was constructed.

建议: Provide a clear, grammatical reasoned answer with specific benefits of living in a tall building. Avoid incorrect phrasing and unclear ideas (e.g. "how to butterfly"). Use linking words to add a second supporting point and give a concrete example of a view or facility.

示例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because the higher floors offer great views of the city and nearby parks. In addition, such buildings often have good facilities like a gym and rooftop garden, which would improve my everyday life.

× Yeah, there are several tall buildings nearby my home because I lived in Town Center.

✓ Yeah, there are several tall buildings near my home because I live in the Town Center.

The preposition 'nearby' is an adverb and should not be followed by 'my home' in this context; use 'near'. Also 'lived' is past tense but the context indicates a current situation, so use present 'live'. Use the definite article 'the' with 'Town Center' if referring to a specific place. Suggestions: replace 'nearby my home' with 'near my home', change 'lived' to 'live', and add 'the' before 'Town Center' if it is a specific location.

× The uh, the area is mainly commercial with many office buildings and compa companies, so it's quite build up.

✓ The area is mainly commercial with many office buildings and companies, so it's quite built up.

'The uh, the' contains a filler and duplicated article; remove extra 'the'. 'compa companies' is a spoken error; use 'companies'. 'build up' should be the past participle adjective 'built up'. Suggestions: remove fillers and duplicates, correct 'compa' to 'companies', and use 'built up' as adjective.

× As I'm a photographer, uh, I took uh for photo all, uh, period long UH-12 building because it's allows me a happy and uh, etcetera.

✓ As I'm a photographer, I have taken photos of the UH-12 building over a long period because it makes me happy.

The sentence misuses past simple 'took' with unclear object and timing; 'have taken' (present perfect) is appropriate for actions over a period up to now. 'for photo all, period long' is ungrammatical — use 'photos of... over a long period'. 'it's allows me a happy' is incorrect: 'it allows' with third person singular should be 'it allows', but semantic fit is 'it makes me happy'. Remove fillers and 'etcetera'. Suggestions: use present perfect for ongoing experience, correct object phrase, and use 'makes me happy' or 'brings me joy'.

× There are several beautiful love buildings but among them one particular building is I would like to visit here that is Burj Khalifa.

✓ There are several beautiful buildings, but among them one particular building I would like to visit is the Burj Khalifa.

The phrase 'beautiful love buildings' is incorrect; likely meant 'beautiful buildings'. Word order is awkward: 'one particular building is I would like to visit here that is Burj Khalifa' should be reordered for clarity. Also use the definite article 'the' with 'Burj Khalifa'. Suggestions: remove extraneous words, place the relative clause correctly, and include 'the' before famous building names when common in usage.

× It is very beautiful and longest building in the world.

✓ It is very beautiful and is the longest building in the world.

Superlative forms require the definite article 'the' and the verb 'is' to link: 'is the longest'. Missing 'the' and missing auxiliary 'is' before 'the longest' make the sentence ungrammatical. Suggestions: use 'is the longest'.

× Yes, I want to live in a tall building because it's allowed to me see a natural views at the top and also it's allows how to butterfly in the.

✓ Yes, I want to live in a tall building because it would allow me to see natural views from the top, and it would also allow me to watch butterflies there.

'it's allowed to me see' is ungrammatical: 'allow' as a verb requires subject + allow + object + to-infinitive (it allows me to see). Tense/modal nuance: 'would allow' is more natural when describing hypothetical benefits. 'a natural views' mixes article and plural; use 'natural views' without 'a'. 'it's allows how to butterfly in the' is unintelligible; interpret as 'allow me to watch butterflies there'. Suggestions: use 'allow me to [verb]' or 'would allow me to [verb]', fix articles and pluralization, and clarify the second clause.