建筑— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and avoid fillers like "Uh". Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using a linking word. Mentioning an example of an amenity would make the answer more concrete.

示例: Yes, there are several tall residential buildings near my home. For example, the building next to mine is about 20 storeys high and includes amenities such as a gym and a rooftop garden, which many residents use.

建议: Good direct answer and reason. To improve, add a linking word and a specific example of what makes a building interesting (shape, colour, era) and limit to two sentences for clarity.

示例: Yes, I love photography, so I often photograph buildings that stand out. For instance, I recently photographed an old Art Deco cinema because of its colourful façade and ornate details.

建议: Good content and specific detail. Improve by correcting minor grammar (e.g. "one of the Seven Wonders of the World") and by adding a linking phrase to explain why you want to visit (personal reas

× Yes, there are multiple tall residential buildings near my home.

✓ Yes, there are several tall residential residential buildings near my home.

'Multiple' is acceptable but 'several' is more natural here; however this is not strictly error. (Note: If considered error, change is style not grammar.)

× Uh, also there's one building just beside my home that will be around 20 floors.

✓ Uh, also there's one building just beside my home that will be around 20 storeys tall.

The original uses 'will be around 20 floors' which mixes 'will be' with a count of floors; better to say 'will be around 20 storeys tall' or 'will have around 20 floors'. Use 'storeys tall' for height description or 'have' for count of floors.

× It is also a residential building and will have a lot of amenities in there.

✓ It is also a residential building and will have a lot of amenities.

'in there' is unnecessary and awkward after 'amenities'. Remove it to make the sentence concise: 'will have a lot of amenities.'

× Yes, I love photography, so whenever I notice some kind of building that is different from the regular ones, I always try to capture them in my mobile phone.

✓ Yes, I love photography, so whenever I notice a building that is different from the usual ones, I always try to capture it on my mobile phone.

Use singular 'a building' to match 'whenever I notice' and use 'it' as pronoun for singular. 'Regular' -> 'usual' is more natural. Use 'on my mobile phone' rather than 'in my mobile phone'. Also 'capture' takes object 'it' not 'them' when referring to a single building.

× Yes, I would like to visit a building named Taj Mahal, which comes in one of the seven wonders of the World.

✓ Yes, I would like to visit the Taj Mahal, which is one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

Use definite article 'the' with unique monuments: 'the Taj Mahal'. Also 'comes in one of' is incorrect; use 'is one of'. Capitalize 'Seven Wonders of the World' as a proper noun.

× It is completely made of white marble, which shines amazingly when the sun rays reflects on that.

✓ It is made entirely of white marble, which shines beautifully when the sun's rays reflect on it.

Place adverb 'entirely' before 'of' for natural