食物— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence then briefly add one or two specific supporting details (reason and a short example). Avoid redundant phrasing like “specifically the spicy one” after already saying fried rice; instead integrate details smoothly and keep to 3–4 sentences. Use a linking word to connect reason.

示例: I really like spicy fried rice. I prefer it because the chilli and garlic give it a bold, satisfying flavour, and many nearby restaurants make it with fresh vegetables and tender chicken. For example, the stall across my street adds a soy-chilli sauce that makes the dish especially tasty.

建议: Open with a concise topic sentence, then give a specific reason or brief contrast using a linking word like “but” or “however.” Keep the answer to 2–3 sentences and avoid vague fillers such as “things like that.”

示例: When I was young I loved sweet treats such as puddings and cakes. However, as I grew older I developed a preference for savoury flavours, so I don’t enjoy sugary desserts as much now.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence and then add one concrete example or brief explanation to support your answer. Use a linking word like “because” to explain why, and avoid repeating the same idea twice.

示例: Not really — I usually eat the same kinds of food year-round because my family cooks similar meals regardless of season. For example, we often have fried rice and vegetable dishes even in winter, so my diet doesn’t change much.

建议: Begin with a direct topic sentence, then use chronological linking words (e.g. “at first,” “later”) to structure the short narrative. Be more concise by removing repetitive references to earlier answers; include one specific reason and one brief example of how your taste changed.

示例: Yes, it changed. At first I avoided fried rice because it seemed too spicy, so I preferred sweets. Later, because my parents often made fried rice at home, I gradually learned to enjoy its flavours — now I choose a spicy version when I eat out.

× My favorite food is fried rice, specifically the spicy one that I usually buy from restaurants across my street.

✓ My favorite food is fried rice, specifically the spicy kind that I usually buy from the restaurant across my street.

Use of articles: 'the spicy one' is awkward with 'fried rice' and 'restaurants across my street' is incorrect plural/article use. Change to 'the spicy kind' and 'the restaurant' to refer to a specific place. Also 'across my street' corrected to 'across the street from my house' could be clearer, but minimal correction replaces 'restaurants' with 'the restaurant' to match singular reference.

× When I was younger I was a big fan of sweet treats like puddings and cakes, things like that, but as I grew older I don't find that I like them as much as I did when I was younger.

✓ When I was younger I was a big fan of sweet treats like puddings and cakes, things like that, but as I grew older I did not find that I liked them as much as I did when I was younger.

Tense consistency: The sentence mixes past and present ('as I grew older' with 'I don't find'). Because the context compares past preferences, use past tense throughout ('did not find', 'liked'). This keeps the time frame consistent and clear.

× Not really, no. I still stick to the food that I like, so I don't particularly have a change in diet when it comes to food.

✓ Not really. I still stick to the foods that I like, so I don't particularly change my diet.

Redundancy and awkward structure: 'Not really, no' is redundant; use a single short response. 'The food that I like' is better as 'the foods that I like' (plural) since 'foods' refers to different items. 'I don't particularly have a change in diet when it comes to food' is wordy and repetitive; simplify to 'I don't particularly change my diet.' This improves clarity and concision.

× Oh, my favorite food has definitely changed. When I was younger I wasn't the biggest fan of fried rice because I thought they were too spicy for my liking, which is why, as I told you before, I preferred sweet treats.

✓ Oh, my favorite food has definitely changed. When I was younger I wasn't the biggest fan of fried rice because I thought it was too spicy for my liking, which is why, as I told you before, I preferred sweet treats.

Pronoun and number agreement with tense: 'fried rice' is an uncountable noun treated as singular, so use singular pronoun 'it' and singular verb 'was' rather than plural 'they were'. This fixes subject-pronoun agreement and matches past tense.

× But then as I got older and my parents would often feed me fried rice since it's their favorite food, I occasionally grew to love it as well.

✓ But then as I got older and my parents often fed me fried rice since it was their favorite food, I gradually grew to love it as well.

Tense consistency and modal misuse: 'would often feed me' is possible but mixing with 'it's' (present) is inconsistent; convert to past: 'often fed me' and 'it was their favorite food'. Also 'occasionally grew to love it' is odd—'gradually grew to love it' better expresses a developing preference. This keeps past time frame consistent.