食物— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Cải thiện: 1) Rõ ràng hoá ý chính: bắt đầu bằng một câu chủ đề ngắn gọn (ví dụ: "My favourite food is sushi"). 2) Sửa ngữ pháp và cấu trúc: tránh các cụm từ lạ như "it raises when I don't know how what do it"; nên nói rõ lý do. 3) Giảm lặp từ và mở rộng từ vựng liên quan (e.g., "fresh", "variety", "convenient"). 4) Giữ độ dài tối đa 3–4 câu và dùng liên từ phù hợp như "because" hoặc "so" để liên kết ý.

示例: My favourite food is sushi. I enjoy it because it is convenient to prepare and tastes very fresh. Also, sushi offers a wide variety of flavors and textures, so it's my go-to choice when I want something light and satisfying.

建议: Cải thiện: 1) Mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng: "When I was young, I liked..." 2) Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp và từ sai (e.g., "either meal" → "a special meal", "salary" → "got paid"). 3) Thêm chi tiết cụ thể để làm câu trả lời sinh động (ví dụ: hương vị, dịp ăn, cảm xúc). 4) Tránh lặp từ và dùng liên từ để liên kết lý do và cảm xúc.

示例: When I was young, I loved fried pork, which we only had as a special meal when my mother got paid. The meat was crispy and flavorful, and I still remember the warm, celebratory atmosphere whenever we ate it.

建议: Cải thiện: 1) Bắt đầu câu khẳng định ngắn gọn: "Yes, we do." 2) Sửa từ sai và viết tên món rõ ràng (nếu cần, giải thích ngắn về tên và nguồn gốc). 3) Thêm một câu giải thích lý do hay cảm nhận cá nhân để phong phú hoá nội dung. 4) Dùng liên từ như "for example" hoặc "for instance" để nối ý.

示例: Yes, we do. For traditional holidays we prepare special dishes, such as Bantu, which is rice and pork wrapped in banana leaves. This dish is important to our family because it reminds us of our cultural traditions and brings everyone together.

建议: Cải thiện: 1) Trình bày rõ ràng sự thay đổi bằng câu chủ đề: "Yes, it has changed." 2) Sửa lỗi lặp và ngữ pháp ("fry meat and light chicken" unclear → "fried meat, especially chicken and pork"). 3) Giải thích rõ nguyên nhân và nêu ví dụ cụ thể về thói quen ăn uống mới. 4) Giữ câu ngắn gọn, tránh lặp từ như "my my my" và lặp "healthier".

示例: Yes, it has changed. As a child I preferred fried meats, especially chicken and pork, but now I choose healthier options like vegetables and fish because I am more concerned about my health and digestion.

× I love it because it's very easy to make and it raises when I don't know how what do it.

✓ I love it because it's very easy to make and it helps me when I don't know what to do.

The original sentence misuses 'raises' and has incorrect word order 'how what do it'. Use 'helps me' to convey assistance and correct question-word order 'what to do'. Also use infinitive 'to do' after 'what'. Suggestion: practice using verbs that match the intended meaning and standard question-word order (what + to + verb).

× Sushi is the first choice for me.

✓ Sushi is my first choice.

'The first choice for me' is understandable but less natural; 'my first choice' is the correct possessive expression. This is an issue of natural noun phrase usage and possession. Suggestion: use possessive forms (my/your) with 'first choice'.

× When I was young, I really liked the fried pork.

✓ When I was young, I really liked fried pork.

The definite article 'the' is unnecessary before uncountable or general food categories such as 'fried pork'. Remove 'the' to refer to the food in general. Suggestion: omit articles when speaking about food in general.

× It's either meal that we could only eat when my mom had salary.

✓ It was a meal that we could only eat when my mom received her salary.

'It's either meal' is ungrammatical and 'had salary' is wrong collocation. Use past tense 'was' to match 'When I was young', and 'received her salary' or 'got paid' is the correct expression. Suggestion: use proper noun phrases ('a meal') and natural verbs for payment.

× So so I now I will still remember the favor of of fried pork.

✓ I still remember the flavor of fried pork.

The sentence has repetition 'So so I now I will', incorrect verb 'will' for a present state, and misspelling 'favor' instead of 'flavor'. Use present simple 'I still remember' and correct noun 'flavor'. Suggestion: avoid filler repetition and choose the correct tense for states.

× It's so memorable.

✓ It is very memorable.

'It's so memorable' is acceptable colloquially, but 'very memorable' is slightly more formal and consistent. This is a minor adverb/adjective choice; no major grammatical error. Suggestion: prefer 'very' in formal responses.

× Yes, on traditional day holidays we eat special UMM dishes.

✓ Yes, on traditional holidays we eat special UMM dishes.

'Traditional day holidays' is redundant or incorrect. Use 'traditional holidays' or 'on special days'. This is an article/phrase usage issue. Suggestion: simplify to 'traditional holidays' or 'on traditional days'.

× For example, on the holiday we have a traditional dish called Bantu, which contains rice and pork and it's wrapped in a banana leaf.

✓ For example, at one holiday we have a traditional dish called Bantu, which contains rice and pork and is wrapped in a banana leaf.

Use 'at one holiday' or 'on that holiday' rather than 'on the holiday' depending on context; also avoid contraction 'it's' before 'wrapped'—use passive 'is wrapped'. This fixes tense and passive construction. Suggestion: use consistent passive form 'is wrapped' and clearer time expressions.

× Yes. When I was a child I loved fry meat and light chicken and pork.

✓ Yes. When I was a child I loved fried meat and light chicken and pork.

Use past participle/adjective 'fried' rather than base verb 'fry' to describe prepared food. 'Light chicken' is unclear but left unchanged; consider 'lightly seasoned chicken' or 'lean chicken'. Suggestion: use adjectives formed from past participles to describe cooked foods.

× Now I prefer healthier, healthier food such as vegetable and fish because I'm more concerned about my my my health.

✓ Now I prefer healthier food such as vegetables and fish because I'm more concerned about my health.

Remove duplicate 'healthier', use plural 'vegetables', and remove repeated 'my'. Also 'health' needs single occurrence. This fixes article/plural and repetition errors. Suggestion: proofread to remove duplicates and use plural forms for general categories of food.