走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and natural. Begin with a direct topic sentence (Yes, I walk a lot), then give one clear reason and an example. Avoid fillers and possessive phrasing like “calories of mine.” Use linking words if adding detail.

示例: Yes, I walk a lot. I usually go to the park because brisk walking helps me stay fit and burn calories. For example, I walk there for about 40 minutes most evenings to keep active.

建议: Use correct tense and a clear structure: topic sentence then one or two supporting details. Replace vague phrases like “from time to time” with frequency words, and correct grammar (past tense).

示例: Yes, I often went for walks as a child. I usually walked to the park with my parents and friends, and sometimes we strolled around nearby streets to explore the city.

建议: Avoid repeating 'people' and use smoother linking words. Start with a general statement then list two clear reasons with linking words (for example, because/also). Watch subject-verb agreement and word choice (peace of mind).

示例: People walk in parks for different reasons. For example, some walk to exercise and burn calories, while others go for peace of mind and to reduce stress.

建议: Be specific and concise. Give one clear place and one or two reasons with better vocabulary (tranquil, greenery). Avoid contradictory durations and unclear phrases like “peace of mindfulness” and “last green trees.”

示例: If I had the chance, I'd take a long walk in the large park near my house. I would spend two to three hours there, enjoying an extended one-hour walk among the green trees because the peaceful atmosphere helps me relax.

建议: Answer directly and use clear reasons. Say when and where you walked, use past tense for a recent activity (I went/I've been), and avoid vague or awkward phrases like “burn some bad things.” Explain purpose clearly (digest food, exercise). Remove fillers.

示例: Lately I have been walking along the streets after dinner. I usually go for a 20–30 minute walk at night to help digestion and to get some light exercise.

× Yes, umm, I have a knack for walking because when I walk in the park I'm able to burn a lot of calories of mine.

✓ Yes, umm, I have a knack for walking because when I walk in the park I'm able to burn a lot of my calories.

The phrase 'calories of mine' is an awkward and incorrect use of possessive; use 'my calories' instead. Also 'a lot of my calories' is more natural. Suggestion: use possessive adjective before the noun (my calories).

× Yes, from time to time when I was child I go for a walk with my friends and my parents into the park and into the cities where I live, and sometimes it helps me to get active at that time.

✓ Yes, from time to time when I was a child I went for a walk with my friends and my parents to the park and to the parts of the city where I lived, and sometimes it helped me to get active then.

The sentence mixes past and present ('was child' and 'go'); use past tense consistently: 'was a child' and 'went'. Article 'a' is missing before 'child'. Prepositions: use 'to the park' or 'to parts of the city'. 'Helps' should be 'helped' to match past time. Suggestion: keep verbs in the past when describing past habits, include necessary articles, and use correct prepositions.

× It depends on people because sometimes people like to walk into the park because they wants to burn their calories and sometimes people just walk into the park because they want some Peace of Mind and they want to release their stress and anxiety.

✓ It depends on the person because sometimes people like to walk in the park because they want to burn calories, and sometimes people just walk in the park because they want peace of mind and want to relieve their stress and anxiety.

Plural subject 'they' requires base verb 'want', not 'wants' (third person singular). Also 'walk into the park' is less natural than 'walk in the park'. 'Peace of Mind' should be lowercased and not capitalized. 'Release their stress' is better expressed as 'relieve their stress'. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and choose natural prepositions and verbs.

× For instance, I walk into the park for burning my calories.

✓ For instance, I walk in the park to burn calories.

Use infinitive 'to burn' to express purpose rather than 'for burning'. Also 'walk into the park' is less natural than 'walk in the park'. Omit unnecessary possessive 'my' before 'calories'. Suggestion: use 'to' + verb for purpose and prefer 'in the park'.

× Well there is a park near my house, so when I get a chance I will definitely go to the park for two or three hours and I'll take a walk of approximately 1 hour because of their peace of mindfulness things which is related to their last green trees and the environment which is located into that park.

✓ Well, there is a park near my house, so when I get the chance I will definitely go to the park for two or three hours and I'll take a walk of approximately one hour because of the peaceful atmosphere created by the large green trees and the surrounding environment in that park.

Problems: 'get a chance' is better as 'get the chance'. 'Their peace of mindfulness things' is ungrammatical and unclear; replace with 'peaceful atmosphere'. 'Last green trees' is incorrect; likely 'large green trees'. 'Which is located into that park' should be 'in that park' or 'surrounding environment in that park'. Also use 'one hour' in words or '1 hour' consistently. Suggestion: use clear noun phrases, correct prepositions, and natural collocations ('peaceful atmosphere', 'large green trees').

× Well, after my dinner I prefer to walk on the roads because in, umm, night, people are just walking after their dinner to run some calories and the to burn some uh. Bad things, which they have.

✓ Well, after my dinner I prefer to walk on the roads because at night people walk after dinner to burn some calories and relieve some of the bad things they feel.

Issues: 'in, umm, night' should be 'at night' (preposition). 'People are just walking' is present continuous but general habit suits simple present: 'people walk'. 'to run some calories' is incorrect collocation; use 'to burn some calories'. 'the to burn some uh. Bad things' is ungrammatical; clarify as 'relieve some of the bad feelings they have'. Suggestion: use correct prepositions for time, simple present for habitual actions, and proper collocations ('burn calories', 'relieve bad feelings').