走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific reason and a brief supporting detail. Use linking words (e.g., because, so) correctly and keep it within 2–3 sentences.

示例: Not really. I don't walk much because I'm a student and I spend most of the day studying. As a result, I usually sit at a desk and don't have time for regular walks.

建议: Good content and clear answer. Improve grammar and sentence flow: use correct verb forms and pronouns, and add a linking word to make it smoother. Keep it to 2 sentences.

示例: Yes. When I was a child we lived in a joint family, so my mother, aunts and I often went for long evening walks after dinner.

建议: Organize your idea into a clear topic sentence and specific reasons. Use simpler, correct vocabulary and linking words (for example, because, so, and). Avoid repetition and unclear phrases.

示例: People like walking in parks mainly because they offer green space and fresh air in crowded urban areas. Also, parks provide a peaceful atmosphere to relax and escape from city noise.

建议: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear statement of the place, then give one or two specific reasons why you would choose it. Correct prepositions and tighten sentences.

示例: I would like to take a long walk near the Hadimba Temple in Manali. The area is surrounded by mountains and a charming small town, so I imagine the scenery and fresh mountain air would be wonderful.

建议: Clarify tense and sequence, and reduce repetition. Give a concise answer with one clear past event and a supporting detail. Use correct pronouns and verb forms.

示例: Recently I walked to the nearby market to get ice cream. I usually buy vanilla from a vendor who recognizes me and often waits if I'm a little late.

× No, I'm not that kind of person who like to walk a lot because I'm busy throughout my day so I didn't get exact time to walk that much as I'm a student.

✓ No, I'm not that kind of person who likes to walk a lot because I'm busy throughout my day, so I don't get enough time to walk since I'm a student.

Pronoun 'who' refers to 'person' (singular), so the verb should be 'likes' (third person singular). Also 'didn't get exact time' is wrong tense and wording; present simple 'don't get enough time' suits habitual situation. Use 'since' to explain reason. Combine clauses with a comma for clarity.

× I sit on a chair table and study throughout the day.

✓ I sit at a table and study throughout the day.

The phrase 'chair table' is incorrect; use 'at a table' or 'on a chair' not both. 'Sit at a table' is the natural collocation.

× Yes, actually when I was small I belonged to a joint family, so during the evening me and my mother and my aunts basically go for a long walk after having a dinner.

✓ Yes, actually when I was small I belonged to a joint family, so in the evenings my mother, my aunts and I usually went for a long walk after having dinner.

Past habitual action needs past tense 'went' not 'go'. Word order for subjects should place 'I' last: 'my mother, my aunts and I'. Use 'in the evenings' for repeated evening actions and 'having dinner' without article 'a'.

× I think due to the urban areas they don't get specific area or atmosphere themselves to just see the environment and feel that.

✓ I think people in urban areas don't have a specific place or the right atmosphere to enjoy the environment and experience it.

Pronoun 'they' is vague; use 'people in urban areas'. 'Specific area or atmosphere themselves' is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'a specific place or the right atmosphere'. 'See the environment and feel that' is unclear; 'enjoy the environment and experience it' is clearer.

× So according to me if they are going to pass, there is a main reason that they want the greenery area around them and have want to have a fresh air.

✓ So in my opinion, if they go there, the main reason is that they want greenery around them and fresh air.

'According to me' is unnatural; use 'in my opinion'. 'Are going to pass' is incorrect context; 'go there' fits. 'Greenery area' should be 'greenery' or 'green areas'. 'Have want to have a fresh air' is ungrammatical; simplify to 'want fresh air' and remove the article 'a' before 'fresh air'.

× Well, that's an interesting question. I have never ever thought about this kind of thing, but still I have dreamed to go for a long walk in one of the famous place in Manali that is near the Harimbar temple.

✓ Well, that's an interesting question. I have never thought about this, but I have always dreamed of going for a long walk in one of the famous places in Manali near the Hadimba temple.

Use 'have never thought about this' (not 'never ever' for formal speech). 'Dreamed of going' uses the correct preposition and gerund. 'Place' should be plural 'places' or 'a famous place'. Correct name 'Hadimba temple'.

× So beside that there is a very beautiful small town settled up.

✓ Beside that, there is a very beautiful small town nearby.

'So beside that' is awkward; 'beside that' or 'besides that' works better. 'Settled up' is incorrect; use 'nearby' or 'settled there'. Keep word order natural: 'there is a very beautiful small town nearby.'

× Lately I like to move to a nearby market.

✓ Lately I like to go to a nearby market.

Use 'go' instead of 'move to' for visiting a market. 'Lately' with 'like to' indicates present habit; 'I have recently been going to a nearby market' is another option if emphasizing recent activity.

× There I have my ice cream.

✓ There I have ice cream.

'My ice cream' implies ownership; likely intended meaning is 'I have ice cream there' or 'I buy ice cream there.' Simpler: 'There I have ice cream.'

× One of my favorite ice cream is vanilla flavor and that's a specific vendor that usually sells me at every evening.

✓ One of my favorite ice creams is vanilla, and there is a particular vendor who usually sells it to me every evening.

Use plural 'ice creams' or 'flavors' when saying 'one of'. 'Vanilla flavor' can be 'vanilla'. 'Specific vendor' should be 'particular vendor'. 'Sells me' is wrong; use 'sells it to me'. 'At every evening' should be 'every evening'.

× And he even he also waits for me for a long time.

✓ He even waits for me for a long time.

Avoid repetition 'he even he also'. Use one auxiliary: 'He even waits for me' or 'He often waits for me a long time.'

× So I basically go there and when I'm late for the work or I'm not.

✓ So I basically go there whether I'm late for work or not.

Original sentence is incomplete and repetitive. Use 'whether... or not' to express both possibilities and remove unnecessary articles: 'work' without 'the' and avoid hanging clause.