走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and use a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Correct small grammar: use ‘tend to walk’ consistently and avoid run-on sentences.

示例: Yes, I usually walk in the evenings because it is cooler then. I work at a desk most of the day, so walking after work helps me stretch my legs and clear my mind.

建议: Start with a direct answer (Yes/No), use past tense consistently, and avoid fragments. Use linking words to connect ideas and give one specific example of a childhood activity and one benefit you noticed later.

示例: No, I didn't go out to walk much as a child because I preferred indoor activities like reading and board games. However, as I grew older I started walking after dinner because it helps digestion and gives me a chance to get fresh air.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence, use correct verb forms, and avoid vague words like ‘vigorous’ in this context. Provide two concrete reasons and one brief example to illustrate each reason, linked logically.

示例: People like walking in parks because the air is fresher and the surroundings are calming. For example, trees and lawns reduce noise and pollution, and green spaces make walking feel more relaxing and rejuvenating.

建议: Begin with a direct answer stating one preference, then briefly compare seasons using linking words. Correct grammar (use ‘air conditioning’ and combine short fragments) and give one specific reason for each choice.

示例: If I had the chance, I would walk in a shopping mall during the summer because the air conditioning makes it comfortable. In winter, however, I would choose an outdoor park because the cold air feels fresher and more invigorating.

建议: Answer in past tense and avoid filler words. Start with a direct past-tense sentence, include the duration and two clear reasons, using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g. ‘helped my digestion’).

示例: Yesterday I walked in the shopping mall for about 20 to 30 minutes. It helped my digestion after dinner, and I also had a chance to do some shopping while I walked.

× I tend to walk a lot in the evenings because the weather at that time is cooler and during the day I usually sit in the office to work for long periods so I don't walk much until the evening.

✓ I tend to walk a lot in the evenings because the weather then is cooler, and during the day I usually sit in the office working for long periods, so I don't walk much until the evening.

The original sentence mixes simple clauses awkwardly and uses 'at that time' which is unnatural for habitual present; use 'then'. Also 'to work for long periods' is better phrased as 'working for long periods' to show continuous habitual action. Combine clauses with a comma and 'and' for clarity.

× No uh, when I was a child I tend to stay in the indoor and have activities that can be done in the house.

✓ No. When I was a child I tended to stay indoors and do activities that could be done in the house.

The sentence refers to past habits, so use past tense 'tended' rather than present 'tend'. Use 'indoors' (adverb) not 'the indoor'. Use 'do' for activities and 'could' for past ability.

× But as I grew up I noticed that walking outside is very good for our health.

✓ But as I grew up I noticed that walking outside was very good for our health.

Main clause is past ('I grew up', 'I noticed'), so the reported idea should shift to past tense: 'was' instead of 'is' to maintain sequence of tenses.

× Especially go for a walk after dinner.

✓ I especially like to go for a walk after dinner.

Original is a fragment missing a subject and verb. Add subject ('I') and verb ('like to') to make a complete sentence and express preference clearly.

× It can. Stomach more comfortable and have a chance to get fresh air.

✓ It can make the stomach more comfortable and give a chance to get fresh air.

Original has fragment and punctuation errors. Combine into one sentence, use 'make' for result ('make the stomach more comfortable') and 'give' to express providing an opportunity. Ensure subject 'it' applies to both verbs.

× I think the main reason that these people likes to walk in parks is that they can get fresh air and also the park is very vigorous so that people can feel the atmosphere there and feeling that they become more healthy or become more become younger in the park.

✓ I think the main reason these people like to walk in parks is that they can get fresh air, and the parks are lively so people can feel the atmosphere and feel healthier or younger there.

Use 'like' not 'likes' because subject 'people' is plural (subject-verb agreement). 'Park is very vigorous' is unnatural; use 'parks are lively'. Remove repetition and fix verb forms: 'feel healthier' and 'feel younger'. Also pluralize 'park' to 'parks' to match 'people' context.

× In the summer, I prefer to take a long walk in the shopping mall since the shopping mall always open the air condition so it is cooler for us to walk inside rather than under the sun.

✓ In the summer, I prefer to take a long walk in the shopping mall since the shopping mall always turns on the air conditioning, so it is cooler to walk inside than under the sun.

Use correct verb 'turns on' for operating air conditioning and 'air conditioning' noun. Use comparative 'cooler' with 'to walk inside than under the sun' (use 'than' not 'rather than' in this comparative structure).

× But in the winter I prefer to walk outdoors such as park or on the street.

✓ But in the winter I prefer to walk outdoors in places such as parks or on the street.

Use plural 'parks' and 'in places such as' to list examples. Maintain present tense 'prefer' consistent with habitual preference.

× Because the air is more fresh out there compared to the summer.

✓ Because the air is fresher out there compared to summer.

Use comparative adjective 'fresher' not 'more fresh'. Omit unnecessary article before 'summer'. Ensure concise comparative expression.

× Since it is summer right now, so I go for a walk in the shopping mall yesterday and I took a 20 to 30 minutes walk because uh it can helps me to digestion and also I can shop.

✓ Since it is summer right now, I went for a walk in the shopping mall yesterday and took a 20- to 30-minute walk because it helps my digestion and I could also shop at the same time.

Mixing present 'it is summer right now' with 'yesterday' is acceptable if clarifying time, but the action 'go' should be past 'went' and 'took' for past. Use '20- to 30-minute walk' as a compound adjective and use 'helps my digestion' (no 'to'). Use 'could' for ability in past context or 'was able to'. Remove filler 'uh' and join the final fragment 'At the same time' into the sentence.