走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be direct and relevant: start with a clear topic sentence and avoid repeating words. Use correct verbs (walk vs. work) and tidy sentence structure. Keep to 2–4 sentences and add a brief specific detail about when or why you walk. Use linking words like 'and' or 'also' to connect ideas.

示例: Yes, I walk regularly, especially in the evenings. I usually walk with my older sister after finishing our homework, and we chat about school and relax together. It helps me unwind after a busy day.

建议: Answer the question directly and use correct tense and vocabulary (child vs. kids, walk vs. work). Keep it concise and add one brief reason if needed. Use linking words like 'because' appropriately and avoid repetition.

示例: Not really. When I was a child I rarely went for walks because I found it tiring and boring, and I preferred staying indoors to play or study.

建议: Good content idea — mention trees and space — but correct grammar and word choice (walk vs. work) and make sentences more natural. Use linking words like 'also' or 'furthermore' and be specific about benefits (fresh air, quiet).

示例: People enjoy walking in parks because the trees and greenery create a peaceful atmosphere and cleaner air. Also, parks are usually spacious, so walkers can enjoy a long route without feeling crowded.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence and avoid filler phrases. Correct vocabulary (mountains, hike/trek instead of work) and use linking words like 'because' and 'for example.' Give concrete details about what you want to explore and who you would go with.

示例: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk in the mountains because you can explore nature and see different plants and animals. For example, I would hike with friends or family and enjoy spotting birds, insects, and scenic views.

建议: Be specific and correct verbs (walk). Use past tense for recent action (I went). Give one or two clear reasons and avoid repetition. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' correctly.

示例: Recently I went for a short walk to the nearby playground because I wanted a quick, relaxing stroll in the evening. The playground is close to my house, so it's convenient when I only have a little time.

× We often work at night after doing all my homework and we just working and told each other all of the things in the in the in the school.

✓ We often work at night after doing all our homework and we just work and tell each other about all the things at school.

The sentence mistakenly mixes verb forms: 'working' is used where the simple present 'work' is needed to match 'we often' and parallel structure. Also 'told' (past) conflicts with present context; use 'tell'. 'My' should be 'our' to agree with 'we'. Use 'about' and 'at school' for correct prepositions. Suggestion: maintain parallel verbs in present tense and consistent pronouns.

× Actually when I was a kids, I didn't go outside for working because at that time I think that is too tired and bored.

✓ Actually when I was a kid, I didn't go outside to work because at that time I thought it was too tiring and boring.

'A kids' mixes singular article with plural noun; use singular 'a kid' or plural without 'a'. 'for working' is an incorrect verb pattern; use 'to work' or 'to go out' and maintain past tense 'thought' and 'was'. 'Too tired and bored' should be 'too tiring and boring' to describe the activity. Suggestion: match singular/plural and keep tense consistency.

× So I never I never went outside for working.

✓ So I never went outside to work.

Redundant 'I never' removed. 'for working' is incorrect; use 'to work' or 'to play' depending on meaning. Past tense 'went' is correct; keep simple structure. Suggestion: avoid repetition and use infinitive after 'went outside' when indicating purpose.

× I believe the park it has a lot of trees so it makes really peaceful and green for people to work.

✓ I believe the park has a lot of trees, so it feels peaceful and green for people to walk.

Unnecessary subject 'it' after 'the park' is incorrect. 'Makes really peaceful' is wrong; use 'feels peaceful' or 'is really peaceful'. 'For people to work' is wrong preposition/context — should be 'to walk'. Suggestion: remove redundant pronouns and choose verbs/prepositions that match intended meaning.

× Another reason is that the park is usually large so it is enough a distance for people to walk in that.

✓ Another reason is that the park is usually large, so it provides enough space for people to walk.

'Enough a distance' is incorrect word order and choice; use 'enough space' or 'a sufficient distance'. 'Walk in that' is awkward; use 'to walk' or 'for walking'. Suggestion: use correct noun phrases (enough + noun) and natural collocations like 'enough space'.

× Ever had an opportunity for working a long distance? I would, I would choose mountain because you know in the mountain it has a lot of things you can explore, like you climb the mountain, you can discover a lot of animal insects or trees.

✓ If I had an opportunity to walk a long distance, I would choose the mountains because there are many things you can explore: you can climb, and discover many animals, insects, and trees.

The original uses awkward pronouns and structures. 'Ever had...' should be conditional 'If I had...'. 'Choice mountain' needs article 'the mountains' or 'a mountain'. 'In the mountain it has' is incorrect; use 'there are' for existence. List items need plural nouns and clear verbs. Suggestion: use conditional form, correct articles, and 'there is/are' for existence.

× So you can climb with your parents, your friends. So that is really fun.

✓ So you can climb with your parents or your friends, so that is really fun.

Minor issue: 'your parents, your friends' list is fine but linking with 'or' sounds more natural. This mainly concerns flow; article use elsewhere corrected in prior sentence. Suggestion: use conjunctions to connect items naturally.

× Actually I would choose some place that nearby my house such as park or playground, because at at late or at night I choose what I just want to walk a short distance.

✓ Actually I would choose some place near my house such as a park or playground, because late at night I prefer to walk a short distance.

'That nearby my house' should be 'near my house' or 'that is near my house'. Need articles 'a park'. 'At at late or at night' is repetitive and incorrect; use 'late at night'. 'I choose what I just want to walk' is ungrammatical; use 'I prefer to walk'. Suggestion: correct prepositions and word order, remove redundancy.

× So I prefer to work at the something smaller than usual like a playground.

✓ So I prefer to walk in somewhere smaller than usual, like a playground.

'Work at the something smaller' is incorrect word choice; likely meant 'walk in somewhere smaller'. 'The something' is ungrammatical. Use 'somewhere' and correct verb 'walk'. Suggestion: choose correct content words and ensure verb matches activity.

× That is enough for me.

✓ That is enough for me.

This sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed. Keeping as is. Suggestion: none.