走路— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 문법과 어휘 선택에서 오류가 있습니다. 우선 'work'는 잘못된 동사이며 'walk'로 고쳐야 합니다. 문장은 짧고 직접적이어야 하며 이유를 말할 때는 연결어(for / because)를 자연스럽게 사용하세요. 또한 공원에 대한 바람을 말할 때는 간결하게 정리하세요. 예: 한 문장으로 답하고, 두 번째 문장에서 이유와 구체적 상황을 덧붙입니다.

示例: No, I don't walk much because there aren't many places to walk near my house. I wish there was a park nearby where I could go for a walk regularly.

建议: 시제와 단수·복수 형태에 주의하세요 ('when I was a child', 'liked', 'places'). 같은 정보를 반복하고 있으므로 간결하게 표현하세요. 이유를 말할 때는 구체적인 활동이나 기억을 덧붙이면 더 좋습니다. 연결어(so / because / as)로 논리 흐름을 매끄럽게 만드세요.

示例: Yes, I often went for walks as a child because I liked exploring new places and moving around. For example, I used to walk to the nearby river with my friends to look for frogs.

建议: 일반화를 할 때는 'I think'를 한 번만 사용하고, 개인적인 경험과 일반적 이유를 분리해 말하세요. 'helps people's mind' 대신 'is good for mental health' 같은 자연스러운 표현을 쓰세요. 연결어를 사용해 구조를 명확히 하고 구체적 효과를 하나나 두 개 제시하세요.

示例: I think people like walking in parks because it's good for mental health. For example, when I walk in a park I feel calmer and more refreshed, which helps reduce stress.

建议: 조건문과 목적 표현을 정확히 사용하세요 ('If I had the chance, I would like to go to Hong Kong'). 이유는 구체적이고 간결하게 말하세요. 'gives very good feeling'이나 'people who runs' 같은 표현은 부자연스럽습니다 — 'has a vibrant atmosphere' 또는 'many people jogging' 등으로 바꾸세요.

示例: If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk in Hong Kong. I have heard it has a vibrant atmosphere and wide waterfront promenades where many people jog and enjoy the view.

建议: 문장을 더 명확한 시제와 구조로 고치세요 ('recently I walked around my school'). 불필요한 반복을 줄이고 결과(기분 변화)를 간결하게 표현하세요. 장소 설명을 구체적으로 하면 더 설득력 있습니다 (e.g., gardens, sports fields).

示例: Recently I walked around my school because the campus is very large with gardens and sports fields. Walking there helps me feel calm and reduces my stress.

× No, I don't work a lot because near my house I don't have enough place to walk so I want some park near my house.

✓ No, I don't walk a lot because near my house I don't have enough places to walk, so I want a park near my house.

The student used 'work' instead of 'walk' (word choice, not in list) but per allowed types we correct article and plural: 'place' should be plural 'places' or 'a place'; 'some park' is incorrect, use 'a park'. Also change comma usage for clarity. Suggestion: use 'places' for countable plural and 'a' before singular countable noun.

× Yes, when I was child I like to go outside to have a walk because when I was a child I like to move around and visit new place.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I liked to go outside for a walk because I liked to move around and visit new places.

Tense consistency error: referring to past events requires past tense 'liked' rather than present 'like'. Also 'a child' needs the article 'a', and 'new place' should be plural 'new places'. Suggestion: keep past tense throughout when describing childhood and use articles for singular nouns.

× I think walking helps people's mind because for me, when I have a walk, I feel my mind gets fresher and calmer, so I think people like to walk.

✓ I think walking helps people's minds because for me, when I take a walk, I feel my mind becomes fresher and calmer, so I think people like to walk.

Present simple is fine but collocations and forms need correction: 'people's mind' should be 'people's minds' (possessive plural), 'have a walk' is non-native; use 'take a walk'. 'Feel my mind gets' is awkward; use 'feel my mind becomes' or 'feels'. Suggestion: use natural collocations and plural possessive for general statements.

× I like to go to Hong Kong if you have a if I have a chance because many people told me that Hong Kong gives very good feeling because it is very wide and there are so many people who runs.

✓ I would like to go to Hong Kong if I have a chance because many people told me that Hong Kong gives a very good feeling; it is very spacious and there are so many people who run.

Conditional and modal use: use 'would like' for hypothetical preference. Remove stray 'you have a'. 'Gives very good feeling' needs article 'a' and 'spacious' better than 'wide'. Subject-verb agreement: 'people who runs' should be 'people who run'. Suggestion: use 'would like' for polite hypothetical, include articles, and ensure plural subjects take plural verbs.

× Umm recently I walked around my school because my school is very big and there are lots of place to walk and when I have a chance to walk my school my feel I feel very calm and reduce stress.

✓ Umm recently I walked around my school because my school is very big and there are lots of places to walk, and when I have a chance to walk around my school I feel very calm and less stressed.

Tense mix: 'recently I walked' is past, but general statements use present 'my school is very big'—this is okay. Errors corrected: 'lots of place' -> 'lots of places' (plural), word order 'walk my school' -> 'walk around my school'. 'my feel I feel' removed. Use 'less stressed' instead of 'reduce stress' to describe personal feeling. Suggestion: use plural for countable nouns and proper phrases like 'walk around' and 'less stressed'.