爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and use linking words to connect ideas. Correct tense and article errors (e.g., 'music school' → 'music', 'it was my childhood dreamed' → 'it was my childhood dream'). Keep to 3–4 sentences and add a specific detail to make the answer more vivid (e.g., what style you practice or a recent achievement).

示例: I have several hobbies, but my main one is music: I sing and play piano and drums. I also love dancing because it helps me relax after a busy day, and I practice contemporary dance twice a week at a local studio. Recently I performed at a small recital, which boosted my confidence.

建议: Use correct past tense and be specific. Begin with a clear topic sentence in past tense, use linking words (e.g., 'for example', 'also'), correct vocabulary ('karate' not 'carata'), and avoid vague phrases like 'and so on.' Limit to 3–4 sentences and give one or two concrete examples of activities and ages or outcomes.

示例: Yes, I had many hobbies as a child. For example, I learned karate from age six and took drawing and dance classes, especially ballet and modern dance. Because I showed talent, my parents enrolled me in several classes, and I often performed in school shows.

建议: Begin with a direct topic sentence and use precise time expressions. Fix small errors ('attend to music school' → 'attend a music school' or 'take music lessons'). Use linking words like 'and' or 'besides' to connect ideas and be concise. Mention a specific milestone or what you enjoy about long-term practice to enrich content.

示例: Yes — music has been my hobby since childhood. I attend a music school and have been singing and playing piano for about seven to eight years, and more recently I started drums one year ago. Besides being energetic, drumming has improved my rhythm and stage confidence.

建议: Use correct tense and plural forms, and make sentences grammatically complete. Start with a topic sentence, then give two specific examples using linking words ('for example', 'also'). Correct errors ('since childhoods' → 'since childhood', 'so he teaches me how to play more' → 'so he teaches me new pieces'). Keep it within 3–4 sentences and end clearly.

示例: Yes, we share several hobbies. For example, my sister, brother and father have all learned English since childhood, and music runs in my family because my grandfather was a musician for about forty years. We sometimes play music together at family gatherings, and he often teaches me new pieces and techniques.

× I have a few hobbies but the main one is music school.

✓ I have a few hobbies, but the main one is music.

'Music school' is countable and specific; the speaker means 'music' as a hobby. Changing to 'music' corrects meaning and matches singular hobby reference. Suggestion: use 'music' when referring to the activity, and use commas to separate clauses.

× It was my childhood dreamed to become a dancer, and dancing still relaxes me after a busy day.

✓ It was my childhood dream to become a dancer, and dancing still relaxes me after a busy day.

The noun 'dream' is required here, not the past participle 'dreamed'. The phrase 'childhood dream' is the correct noun phrase. Suggestion: use 'childhood dream' to express a long-held aspiration.

× When I was a child I have had several hobbies like carata, also music, dancing, a lot of dancing styles, drawing and so on.

✓ When I was a child I had several hobbies like karate, music, dancing (many styles), drawing, and so on.

'When I was a child' sets a past time frame, so the past simple 'had' should be used rather than present perfect 'have had'. Also 'carata' is a misspelling of 'karate'. Suggestion: match verb tense to time expressions and check spelling of hobby names.

× I was a really talented child, so my parents decided to put me on a lot of different hobby.

✓ I was a really talented child, so my parents decided to put me onto a lot of different hobbies.

'Hobby' should be plural 'hobbies' because 'a lot of' requires a plural noun. The verb phrase 'put me on' is unnatural; 'put me onto' or better 'enroll me in' or 'sign me up for' is preferable. Suggestion: use plural after 'a lot of' and prefer 'enroll me in' for activities.

× I attend to music school, and I have been singing and playing the piano for about seven or eight years.

✓ I attend music school, and I have been singing and playing the piano for about seven or eight years.

The verb 'attend' does not require the preposition 'to' when followed by a noun meaning a place or institution. Remove 'to'. Suggestion: use 'attend school' or 'attend a music school'.

× I've also been playing the drums for only one year, but this is one of my favorite hobbies at the moment because it's energetic.

✓ I've also been playing the drums for only one year, but it is one of my favorite hobbies at the moment because it's energetic.

Pronoun reference: 'this' can be used, but 'it' is more natural referring back to 'playing the drums'. Either is acceptable; change to 'it' for clarity. Suggestion: maintain clear pronoun reference.

× For example, I have been learning English since childhoods like my sister, brother and father, and I also play music because my grandfather was a musician for about forty years and encouraged me to follow his example.

✓ For example, I have been learning English since childhood, like my sister, brother, and father, and I also play music because my grandfather was a musician for about forty years and encouraged me to follow his example.

'Childhoods' is incorrect; use the uncountable noun 'childhood'. Also add commas to separate items in the list. Suggestion: use 'since childhood' to indicate the period from early life.

× We sometimes play music together at family gatherings and having a great time together so he teaches me how to play more

✓ We sometimes play music together at family gatherings and have a great time, so he teaches me how to play more.

Parallel structure required: 'play music' and 'have a great time' should use the same verb form. 'Having' breaks parallelism. Also add punctuation and complete the final clause with a period. Suggestion: keep coordinated verbs in the same form and punctuate sentences fully.