爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make the answer more natural, grammatically correct, and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Correct tense and word forms (e.g., “reading novels,” “working out,” “builds,” “releases”). Avoid redundancy and keep to 3–4 sentences.

示例: I have several hobbies, such as reading novels, working out and hiking. My favourite is working out because it builds my physical fitness and also helps release mental stress. For example, after a gym session I feel more energetic and less anxious.

建议: Be direct and correct grammar. Use a clear topic sentence and specific supporting details. Fix vocabulary and plural/singular errors (e.g., “video games,” “friends,” “personality”). Use linking words like “because” or “so” to explain effects. Avoid confusing or incorrect phrases.

示例: Yes. When I was a child I enjoyed playing video games with my friends because it helped me make friends and feel more confident. Playing together taught me teamwork and improved my communication skills, which was useful as I grew up.

建议: Use correct verb forms and clearer structure. Start with a topic sentence (I have loved drawing since childhood). Give specific examples of what you draw and why, and use linking words (for example, because, so). Keep sentences concise and avoid awkward phrasing.

示例: I have loved drawing since I was a child and I still enjoy it today because it lets me be creative. For example, I often draw portraits of my family to show my affection, and the process helps me concentrate and relax.

建议: Clarify pronouns and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I play table tennis with my mother). Fix irrelevant or unclear clauses (e.g., “She's on a company team and practices regularly”). Explain benefits briefly and coherently using linking words like “so” or “which”.

示例: Yes. Recently I have been playing table tennis with my mother. She is on her company team and practices regularly, so playing together has improved my skills and given us a lovely way to spend time and talk about new topics.

× I have several hobbies and like reading a novel, doing a workout, go hiking.

✓ I have several hobbies and like reading novels, doing workouts, and going hiking.

The sentence mixes base form and -ing forms. Parallel structure requires all activities in the same form; use gerunds for all (reading, doing, going). Also use plural 'novels' and 'workouts' for general hobbies.

× There are many types of the hobbies I have, but the ones I most like is going to do the workout because it's not only build up my physical body, it also release my mental stress doing the work.

✓ There are many types of hobbies I have, but the ones I like most are working out because it not only builds up my physical body, it also relieves my mental stress.

Remove unnecessary 'the' before 'hobbies'. Subject-verb agreement: 'the ones ... are' (plural). Use 'working out' (gerund) instead of 'going to do the workout'. Verbs need correct forms: 'builds' and 'relieves'. Also 'doing the work' is unclear and unnecessary.

× So this really great.

✓ So this is really great.

The sentence lacks the verb 'is'. Add 'is' to form a complete sentence describing the situation.

× Yeah, when I was a child, I really enjoyed playing video game with my friend.

✓ Yeah, when I was a child, I really enjoyed playing video games with my friends.

Use plural 'video games' and 'friends' for general activities. The past tense 'enjoyed' is correct but nouns should be plural for natural expression.

× This is a way for me to build connection with others and having the same interest made me feel confident and also help me to build up my personalities at that time.

✓ It was a way for me to build connections with others; having the same interests made me feel confident and also helped me to develop my personality at that time.

Pronoun 'This' better as 'It' in context. Use plural 'connections' and 'interests'. Maintain past tense consistency: 'made' and 'helped'. 'Personalities' should be singular 'personality'. Use 'develop' instead of 'build up' for natural collocation.

× So I think playing video girl again actually is good for child.

✓ So I think playing video games as a child can actually be good for children.

Original is confused: 'video girl' incorrect. Use 'video games'. Match noun forms and articles: 'for children' or 'as a child' depending on meaning. Rephrase to general statement and correct word order.

× I have love drawing since I was a child and I still enjoy it now because it's the creative skills I've developed over the years.

✓ I have loved drawing since I was a child, and I still enjoy it now because it's a creative skill I have developed over the years.

Use present perfect 'have loved' for an action continuing from the past. 'Skills' should be singular 'skill' if referring to drawing ability. Place 'have developed' for present perfect consistency and use 'a' before 'creative skill'.

× I often draw pictures from my family to express my care and affection and making this draw makes me feel connected and this is also really enjoying.

✓ I often draw pictures of my family to express my care and affection; making these drawings makes me feel connected, and I really enjoy it.

Use preposition 'of' after 'draw pictures'. Use plural 'drawings' and correct noun forms. Replace 'making this draw' with 'making these drawings'. Use 'I really enjoy it' instead of 'this is also really enjoying'.

× When doing a drawing you can really focus on one.

✓ When drawing, you can really focus on one thing.

Use gerund 'drawing' and add 'thing' to complete the idea; original ends abruptly and is unclear.

× Yeah, recently I really like to play table tennis with my mother. He's right now having in the company teams and will routinely practice it.

✓ Yeah, recently I have really liked playing table tennis with my mother. She's currently on the company team and routinely practices it.

Use correct pronoun 'she' for mother, not 'he'. Use present perfect 'have liked' for recent preference. 'Having in the company teams' is incorrect; rephrase to 'is on the company team'. Use 'practices' for third person singular.

× I think practically her is super friends and also we can find a new topic and common things to do together that is feel lovely.

✓ I think she's a very practical and friendly person, and we can find new topics and common activities to do together that feel lovely.

Replace 'her is' with 'she's'. 'Super friends' unclear; interpret as 'friendly' and 'practical'. Use plural 'topics' and 'activities'. Match verb 'feel' to plural noun 'activities'. Avoid awkward phrasing and ensure adjective order.