爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (umm), correct verb forms, and limit to 3–4 sentences. Add a brief specific detail about how often you do each hobby and a linking word when switching topics.

示例: I have a few hobbies. I practice yoga about three times a week because it helps me relax and clear my mind. I also enjoy cooking and especially baking on weekends, which lets me try new recipes and share treats with friends.

建议: Correct tense and subject-verb agreement, remove repetition, and give one or two specific examples with linking words. Use past tense consistently when talking about childhood.

示例: Yes, I had several hobbies as a child. I preferred active sports such as jogging and playing tennis because I enjoyed being outdoors and it helped me stay energetic.

建议: Fix vocabulary and grammar (barking → baking), use past perfect/simple past correctly, and make a clear logical link between childhood and now. Give one specific example of a childhood memory and how it connects to your current hobby.

示例: Yes, baking is a hobby I've had since childhood. When I was young I loved making simple desserts because my family couldn’t afford store-bought sweets, so I learned to bake cookies with basic ingredients; now I still enjoy experimenting with new recipes.

建议: Use clearer sentence structure and correct grammar (two brothers, I don't like team sports). Use a linking word to contrast your preferences with your brothers and give a brief reason or example of an individual sport you prefer.

示例: Not really. My two brothers prefer team sports, especially basketball, whereas I dislike team games and prefer individual activities like yoga or running because they help me focus and reduce stress.

× Yes, of course I have hobby umm.

✓ Yes, of course I have a hobby.

Missing article before singular countable noun 'hobby'. Use 'a' for singular indefinite nouns. Suggestion: insert 'a' before 'hobby'.

× I love doing yoga when I have a lot of pressure.

✓ I love doing yoga when I am under a lot of pressure.

'Have pressure' is incorrect collocation in English. Use the expression 'be under pressure' to describe feeling stressed. Also 'have a lot of pressure' would need 'a' but 'be under' is natural here.

× I think umm do like doing yoga can release the pressure from my brain and create some happy chemistry in my brain.

✓ I think doing yoga can relieve pressure in my mind and create feel-good chemicals in my brain.

Incorrect word order and verb form ('do like doing yoga' is ungrammatical). Use infinitive or gerund 'doing yoga can relieve'. 'Relieve pressure' is more natural than 'release the pressure from my brain'. 'Happy chemistry' should be 'feel-good chemicals' or 'neurochemicals'.

× I also love cooking, baking.

✓ I also love cooking and baking.

Comma splice/list punctuation is awkward; use 'and' between two verbs in a list. No article needed.

× Of course I have hobby when I was a child, but when I were I were a child, I prefer doing some active sport, for example jogging, umm, playing tennis or something else.

✓ Of course I had hobbies when I was a child, but when I was a child, I preferred doing active sports, for example jogging, playing tennis, or other activities.

Multiple errors: tense should be past ('had' not 'have'); article error and plural needed for 'hobbies'. Incorrect past form 'were' for first person singular — use 'was'. 'Prefer' should be past 'preferred'. 'Active sport' should be plural 'active sports' or 'active activities'.

× I don't really like doing yoga.

✓ I didn't really like doing yoga.

Context is past (childhood), so use past tense negative 'didn't' not present 'don't'. This is a tense issue but aligns with third person singular rule for negatives in past. Change to past tense to match timeframe.

× I prefer doing some active activity to develop my mental health.

✓ I preferred doing active activities to improve my mental health.

Context is past, so use past 'preferred'. 'Some active activity' is redundant; use 'active activities' or 'active exercise'. 'Develop my mental health' is awkward—'improve my mental health' is natural.

× I think it's cooking and barking because when I were a child I was already really love it, candy, dessert.

✓ I think it's cooking and baking because when I was a child I already really loved it, especially making candies and desserts.

Multiple issues: 'barking' is wrong word—should be 'baking'. 'Were' incorrect for first person past; use 'was'. 'I was already really love it' mixes tenses—use 'already really loved it'. Clarify examples: 'candies and desserts'.

× But when I was a child, I don't have money I can own.

✓ But when I was a child, I didn't have any money of my own.

Tense mismatch: use past 'didn't have'. 'Money I can own' is unidiomatic; use 'money of my own'. Include 'any' with negatives.

× I could only make dessert by myself.

✓ I could only make desserts by myself.

Singular/plural: 'dessert' should be plural 'desserts' when referring generally. Structure otherwise acceptable.

× So when now I'm growing up and I love to.

✓ So now that I'm grown up, I still love to.

Awkward tense and unfinished clause. Use 'now that I'm grown up' or 'as I've grown up'. 'I love to' is incomplete; add verb or say 'I still love it' or 'I still love baking'.

× Actually not like I have two brother, but they both love playing team sport, uh especially basketball.

✓ Actually, not really. I have two brothers, but they both love playing team sports, especially basketball.

Errors: 'not like I have' is unclear—use 'not really'. 'Brother' should be plural 'brothers'. 'Team sport' should be plural 'team sports'.

× But I hate all the sport that report and I don't love like doing team sport.

✓ But I dislike all the team sports and I don't like playing team sports.

'Hate all the sport that report' is ungrammatical and unclear—likely meant 'team sports'. Use 'dislike' or 'don't like'. Avoid 'don't love like doing' which mixes verbs; use 'don't like playing'.

× I prefer to do individual sport.

✓ I prefer to do individual sports.

Singular/plural: use plural 'sports' when speaking generally. 'Prefer to do' is okay; could also say 'I prefer individual sports.'

× It is good for my mental.

✓ They are good for my mental health.

'It is good for my mental' is incomplete and ungrammatical. Use plural 'They are' referring to sports, and finish phrase 'mental health'. 'Mental' alone is an adjective and needs a noun like 'health'.