爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct tense/grammar; avoid vague phrases like "and others". Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Use present simple consistently (e.g., "helps", "practice").

示例: I have several hobbies, mainly singing and dancing. I enjoy singing because it helps me relax and express my feelings, and I practice dancing regularly to keep fit and learn new styles.

建议: Correct tense and clarity: answer directly with past tense and avoid unclear references. Use linking words to organize ideas and give a specific example of an event or song. Eliminate irrelevant or confusing phrases like "too crowded" and "They helped me to applause."

示例: Yes, I enjoyed singing as a child. I often performed on stage at school events because I loved being in front of an audience, and I used to learn songs from YouTube to practise at home.

建议: Use clear tense and concise structure: state the hobby and how long you've done it, then give specific supporting details. Avoid mixing unrelated verbs (e.g., "to sing for everyone") and be specific about what you draw. Use linking words like "and" or "so" appropriately.

示例: Yes, I have drawn since I was a child. I still draw regularly and buy sketch paper to make festival illustrations for New Year, Hari Raya and Christmas to give to family and friends.

建议: Answer directly about similarity with family hobbies, use correct conditionals and present tense, and give a concise comparison. Replace vague "and others" with specific examples. Use linking words to clarify contrast (e.g., "However, ").

示例: Not exactly. My family members prefer sports and cooking, while I mainly enjoy singing and writing. However, we sometimes share interests, for example we all like watching films together.

× I enjoy singing because it helped me relax and express my feelings.

✓ I enjoy singing because it helps me relax and express my feelings.

The original mixes present-tense 'I enjoy' with past tense 'helped.' Use present tense 'helps' to match 'I enjoy' and indicate a general truth or habitual effect. Suggestion: keep tense consistent by using 'helps.'

× Well, yes, I enjoy singing.

✓ Well, yes, I enjoyed singing.

The question asked about hobbies 'when you were a child' so responses should use past tense. Change 'enjoy' to past 'enjoyed' to match the time frame.

× When I was a child I like to sing on stage because there were too crowded.

✓ When I was a child I liked to sing on stage because it was too crowded.

The sentence uses present 'like' but needs past 'liked' to match 'When I was a child.' Also 'there were too crowded' is ungrammatical: use 'it was too crowded' to refer to the place being crowded. Ensure subject-verb tense agreement and correct subject for 'crowded.'

× They helped me to applause.

✓ They helped me by applauding.

'Applause' is a noun; the verb form is 'applaud.' 'They helped me to applause' is incorrect. Use 'by applauding' to show the action that helped. Also 'helped me to' + verb is possible but here 'by applauding' is clearer.

× For example, I used to sing more natural songs from in in the YouTube, so I did it for myself.

✓ For example, I used to sing natural songs on YouTube for myself.

The original has extra words and wrong preposition: 'from in in the YouTube' is nonsensical. Use preposition 'on' with 'YouTube.' Remove redundant 'more' and 'did it' and place 'for myself' at end. This corrects word order and preposition use.

× Yes, I have enjoyed drawing since I was a child.

✓ Yes, I have enjoyed drawing since I was a child.

'I have enjoyed' is acceptable here because 'since I was a child' indicates an action that began in the past and continues to present. No change needed. (Included for completeness.)

× Until now I often bought some sketch paper to draw some festivals about New Year, Hari Raya and Christmas to sing for everyone.

✓ Until now I often buy sketch paper to draw festival scenes for New Year, Hari Raya and Christmas to share with everyone.

The original mixes past 'bought' with 'until now' which suggests continuing action; use present 'buy.' 'Some sketch paper' is awkward; 'sketch paper' without 'some' is better. 'Draw some festivals about' is incorrect; use 'draw festival scenes for' and 'to sing for everyone' doesn't fit—likely intended 'to share with everyone.' Adjust vocabulary and prepositions accordingly.

× Not exactly, if I had more hobbies I will take different such as writing, watching videos and others.

✓ Not exactly. If I had more hobbies, I would take up different ones such as writing, watching videos and others.

This sentence mixes conditional forms: 'If I had' (past) requires 'would' + base verb (second conditional) for hypothetical present situations, not 'will.' Also 'take different' is incomplete—use 'take up different ones.' Add commas and split into two sentences for clarity.

× Mostly my hobby is singing and writing because it helps me to learn more.

✓ Mostly my hobbies are singing and writing because they help me learn more.

Subject 'hobby' is singular but lists two activities; use plural 'hobbies.' Then 'it helps' should be 'they help' to agree with plural subject. 'Help me to learn' is acceptable but 'help me learn' is more natural.