爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise and consistent: pick one or two hobbies, state them clearly, give 1–2 specific reasons or examples, use correct grammar and avoid contradictions (e.g., saying both riding and writing as favorites). Use linking words like 'and' or 'because' to connect ideas. Keep answers under five sentences.

示例: I have two main hobbies: cycling and writing. I enjoy cycling because it keeps me fit and lets me explore nearby parks, and I write short stories in the evenings because it helps me reflect on personal experiences and improves my English.

建议: Start directly with the hobby and give clear supporting detail: say what you did, why you liked it, and one specific memory. Use correct tense and simpler sentence structure to avoid confusion. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example.'

示例: Yes. As a child I loved pretending to be a flight attendant because I admired the uniforms and wanted to travel. For example, I would practice announcements and arrange toy seats while playing with my cousins, which made the games feel realistic.

建议: Answer clearly and grammatically: state the hobby, how long you've done it, and give specific benefits with linking words. Avoid unclear phrases and keep sentences short. Mention one concrete example of how it helped you.

示例: Yes, I have ridden a bicycle since I was a child. I have been cycling regularly for over ten years because it improves my fitness and clears my mind. For example, I cycle every morning which helps reduce my stress and lets me spend time talking with my sibling.

建议: Be respectful and clearer: state simply whether you share hobbies, then give a brief reason with specifics. Avoid unrelated personal history and unclear phrases. Use linking words like 'because' and give one concrete example of a family activity vs your hobby.

示例: No, I don't share the same hobbies with my family because they usually work long hours and focus on household duties. For instance, while I enjoy cycling and writing in my free time, my parents prefer gardening and community work because it fits their daily schedule.

× My favorite hobbies to do is to ride as much I can.

✓ My favorite hobby is riding as much as I can.

The sentence has a verb + -ing form issue and singular/plural mismatch. 'Hobbies to do is' is incorrect: 'hobby' should be singular to match 'is'. Use the gerund 'riding' after 'hobby' to express the activity. Also add 'as' for the comparative phrase 'as much as I can.' Suggestion: use 'My favorite hobby is riding as much as I can.'

× I think writing makes me really happy and fails to open up my perspective on life.

✓ I think writing makes me really happy and helps to open up my perspective on life.

The verb 'fails' is inappropriate here and creates a negative meaning. The intended meaning is positive: use 'helps' (a verb) plus an infinitive or 'opens up' to indicate effect. 'Helps to open up' or 'opens up' are correct. Suggestion: '...and helps to open up my perspective on life.'

× However, I believe writing also helps me in education and other factors too, so it's a win.

✓ However, I believe writing also helps me in my education and in other ways, so it's a win.

The phrase 'helps me in education and other factors' is unidiomatic. Use 'helps me in my education' and 'in other ways' rather than 'factors.' Also avoid redundant 'also' and 'too' together. Suggestion: '...helps me in my education and in other ways.'

× When I was a child I aspired to be our air Hostess or in the aviation industry.

✓ When I was a child, I aspired to be an air hostess or to work in the aviation industry.

Use 'an' before 'air hostess' (article error) and parallel structure: 'to be an air hostess or to work in the aviation industry.' 'Our' is incorrect here; use no possessive. Use past tense 'aspired' is fine. Suggestion: '...aspired to be an air hostess or to work in the aviation industry.'

× Growing up I was with my family who supported every rights of my doing so I used to do modelling or working as an aviation just a fun way of enjoying my childhood.

✓ Growing up I was with my family, who supported all my decisions, so I used to do modelling or pretend to work in aviation as a fun way of enjoying my childhood.

Several pronoun and article issues: 'every rights of my doing' is incorrect; use 'all my decisions' or 'everything I wanted to do.' 'Working as an aviation' is wrong; 'working in aviation' or 'pretend to work in aviation' fits childhood context. Also add commas for clarity. Suggestion: '...who supported all my decisions, so I used to do modelling or pretend to work in aviation.'

× So it was one of the my hobby.

✓ So it was one of my hobbies.

'the my hobby' combines two articles incorrectly and uses singular 'hobby' after 'one of,' which requires a plural noun ('hobbies'). Remove 'the' and use plural 'hobbies.'

× Is I do have a hobby since shallow that is riding a bicycle because growing up I have been riding bicycle from early is that also helped me with my mental health and physical health.

✓ Yes, I have had a hobby since childhood: riding a bicycle, because I have been riding since I was young and it has helped my mental and physical health.

Sentence is ungrammatical and contains tense and word-choice errors. 'Is I do have' is incorrect; use 'Yes, I have had.' 'since shallow' seems to mean 'since childhood.' Use 'since I was young' or 'since childhood.' 'Riding bicycle' needs an article or gerund phrase: 'riding a bicycle.' Use present perfect 'have been riding' with 'since' properly and 'has helped' for result. Suggestion: 'Yes, I have had a hobby since childhood: riding a bicycle, because I have been riding since I was young and it has helped my mental and physical health.'

× It connects with my family's loving and emotion also.

✓ It connects with my family's love and affection as well.

'Loving and emotion' are incorrect noun forms here. Use 'love and affection' or 'love and emotions.' Also possessive 'family's' is correct. 'Also' is better as 'as well' at end. Suggestion: 'It connects with my family's love and affection as well.'

× So it is still much hobby.

✓ So it is still one of my main hobbies.

'Still much hobby' is ungrammatical. Use 'one of my main hobbies' or 'still a major hobby of mine.' This corrects adjective use and provides a natural phrasing.

× No, I do not have the same hobbies as my family member 'cause we do grew up in different generation and the life I had was never about my family or they never got to leave the Johns I'm leaving.

✓ No, I do not have the same hobbies as my family members because we grew up in different generations, and the life I had was never like theirs.

Multiple errors: 'family member' should be plural 'family members' to match 'hobbies.' 'Do grew up' is wrong; use simple past 'grew up.' 'Different generation' should be plural 'different generations.' The latter clause is unclear and contains unknown phrase 'Johns I'm leaving'—replace with 'theirs' to convey meaning. Suggestion: 'No, I do not have the same hobbies as my family members because we grew up in different generations, and the life I had was never like theirs.'

× They grew up in poorness where they have to help the family so no.

✓ They grew up in poverty, where they had to help the family, so no.

'Poorness' is an uncommon and awkward noun; use 'poverty.' Tense should match past: 'had to help.' Add commas for clarity. 'So no' is informal; keep as 'so no' can remain in spoken style but better 'so, no.' Suggestion: 'They grew up in poverty, where they had to help the family, so no.'