爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words and repetition, and give one or two specific reasons or examples. Use linking words to connect ideas.

示例: I enjoy shopping. Firstly, I find it relaxing to browse different stores and try on clothes, which helps me unwind after a busy week. In addition, I like discovering new styles and occasionally finding good deals that make me feel satisfied.

建议: Provide a clear, grammatical topic sentence and avoid repetition. Include specific details (what you drew, favorite Disney characters) and a linking word to expand the answer naturally.

示例: When I was a child, I loved drawing and watching Disney movies. For example, I often drew princesses and castles because I admired their dresses, and I watched films like The Little Mermaid almost every weekend.

建议: Give a direct answer, then explain with specific details and link ideas. Correct grammar (present perfect for long-term hobbies) and avoid fillers. Mention how the childhood hobby continued or influenced your goals.

示例: Yes, I have kept my interest in Disney princesses since childhood, and this inspired me to pursue fashion design. For instance, I still sketch dress designs influenced by characters' costumes and hope to study fashion to make similar dresses professionally.

建议: Answer directly and use correct verb forms. Use linking words to compare or add information, and give a concrete example of shared activities to make your response specific.

示例: Yes, my sister and I share similar hobbies. She also enjoys drawing and is interested in fashion, so we often sketch outfit ideas together; for example, last month we designed matching dresses and discussed fabric choices.

× My hobby when I was child was, umm, draw, drawing pictures and watching the Disney, Disney movies.

✓ My hobby when I was a child was drawing pictures and watching Disney movies.

The phrase 'when I was child' is missing the article 'a' (Article errors - ID 22) and should be 'a child'. Also 'draw, drawing pictures' is redundant; use the gerund 'drawing' after 'was' to describe a hobby (Verb + -ing form - ID 8). Remove the repeated 'Disney'. Suggestion: use 'My hobby when I was a child was drawing pictures and watching Disney movies.'

× Yeah, I I'm obsessed with Prince.

✓ Yeah, I'm obsessed with the princes.

The speaker likely means 'princesses' or 'a prince/princes'. 'I I'm' has repetition and should be 'I'm' (Sentence structure error - ID 26). Also 'Prince' as a proper noun is unclear; if referring to Disney princes use plural 'the princes' or if specific, use the name. Here corrected to 'the princes'. Ensure subject contraction is fixed.

× Yes, umm, actually I, I love Disney Princess and uh, and I wanna be a fashion designer, umm, to make dresses.

✓ Yes, actually I love Disney princesses and I want to be a fashion designer who makes dresses.

Use 'love' for present tense is fine, but 'Disney Princess' should be plural 'Disney princesses' to match general love of characters (Singular and plural issue - ID 1). 'wanna' is informal; use 'want to'. 'to make dresses' is awkward; use a relative clause 'who makes dresses' or 'to design dresses'. Suggest: 'I love Disney princesses and I want to be a fashion designer who makes dresses.'

× Uh yes umm my sister also love to drawing pictures and uh umm she she interested in fashion and I teach sometimes about fashion and design.

✓ Yes, my sister also loves drawing pictures and she is interested in fashion, and I sometimes teach her about fashion and design.

Multiple issues: 'my sister also love' needs third person singular 'loves' (Third person singular issue - ID 2). After 'loves' use gerund 'drawing' rather than 'to drawing' (Verb + -ing form - ID 8). 'she she' repeats; remove duplication (Sentence structure - ID 26). 'she interested' requires auxiliary 'is' (There be / verb 'to be' issue - ID 3). 'I teach sometimes about' is unnatural word order; 'I sometimes teach her about' is correct. Overall correction addresses subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and word order.