爱好— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar (use present tense consistently), add a clear topic sentence then one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g., “perspective” and “point of view” mean the same).

示例: Yes. My main hobby is chatting with people because it helps me learn about different perspectives and cultures. In addition, I enjoy analyzing music, which improves my listening skills, and learning new languages, which allows me to communicate with more people.

建议: Avoid repetition (don’t repeat “when I was a child”). Give one clear topic sentence and then a specific supporting detail; correct word choice (use “bonds” or “relationships” instead of “barrier”).

示例: Yes. As a child I enjoyed playing badminton. It gave me a lot of joy and helped me make friends, strengthening my relationships with other children.

建议: Use more natural phrasing and correct tense/colloquialisms (avoid ‘'cause’). Start with a direct topic sentence, then add two specific benefits using linking words to connect ideas.

示例: Yes, badminton is a hobby I've kept since childhood and I still play it today. It taught me teamwork and boosted my confidence, and as a result I’ve made many friends who share the same interests.

建议: Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement), remove fillers (‘uh’), and be specific: name one or two family hobbies and contrast them clearly using linking words. Avoid vague phrases like “any kind of sport” or “new country views.”

示例: No, none of my family play badminton. Instead, they enjoy socializing and watching sports, especially football. In addition, some family members like traveling to see new places and learn about different cultures.

× I do have several hobbies.

✓ I have several hobbies.

Using 'do' as an auxiliary for simple present is unnecessary here. Native speakers normally use the simple present 'I have' to state a regular fact. Remove 'do' unless adding emphasis (e.g., 'I do have several hobbies' for contrast).

× I enjoy chatting with people because it helped me learn about their perspective, their point of view and share different cultures, ideas and languages.

✓ I enjoy chatting with people because it helps me learn about their perspectives and share different cultures, ideas, and languages.

Tense and pronoun-number mismatches: 'enjoy' is present so the supporting clause should be present ('helps' not 'helped'). 'Perspective' should be plural 'perspectives' to match 'their'. Also add the article and commas for clarity. Use parallel structure 'learn about... and share...'. Suggestion: keep verbs in the same present tense and match plural pronouns with plural nouns.

× I also like analyzing music and learning new languages which give me new ideas and help me understand other better.

✓ I also like analyzing music and learning new languages, which give me new ideas and help me understand others better.

'Which' clause refers to 'music and learning new languages' (plural), so 'give' is correct. The phrase 'other better' is incorrect; use the plural pronoun 'others' and place 'better' after it. Add a comma before 'which' for a non-restrictive clause.

× When I was a child, my hobby was playing badminton.

✓ When I was a child, my hobby was playing badminton.

Sentence is grammatical. It correctly uses past tense to describe a childhood hobby. No change needed.

× It was the first and only hobby I had when I was a child.

✓ It was the first and only hobby I had as a child.

'When I was a child' is acceptable but can be streamlined to 'as a child' for conciseness. This is a stylistic improvement rather than a strict grammatical correction.

× It brought me so much joy, friends and it also strengthened my barrier with other people as well.

✓ It brought me so much joy and friends, and it also strengthened my bond with other people.

'Barrier with other people' is incorrect collocation; 'bond with other people' or 'relationship with others' is appropriate. Remove redundant 'as well' and fix coordination punctuation.

× Probably badminton, it was my first and I still play it until now.

✓ Probably badminton; it was my first, and I still play it now.

Mixing tenses and awkward phrasing 'until now' is unnecessary when using present tense 'still play'. Use 'now' or 'to this day'. Also separate clauses properly with punctuation.

× I really enjoy playing badminton 'cause it taught me teamwork and confidence and it helps me make more friends and communicate with other people who share the same interests as me.

✓ I really enjoy playing badminton because it taught me teamwork and confidence, and it helps me make more friends and communicate with other people who share the same interests as I do.

Use formal conjunction 'because' instead of colloquial ''cause'. Maintain tense consistency: 'taught' (past) for what badminton taught you, and 'helps' (present) for ongoing benefits — this is acceptable but ensure clarity with commas. Pronoun at end 'as me' is colloquial; use 'as I do' or 'as I' for correctness.

× No, no one in my family play badminton.

✓ No, no one in my family plays badminton.

'No one' is singular, so the verb must be singular: 'plays' not 'play'. Ensure subject-verb agreement with indefinite pronouns like 'no one'.

× Their hobby, uh, will be like chatting with other people and watching sport, like any kind of sport.

✓ Their hobbies are chatting with other people and watching sports, such as any kind of sport.

'Will be' is inappropriate for describing habitual hobbies; use simple present 'are'. Also use plural 'hobbies' to match multiple activities and plural 'sports'. 'Such as' is clearer than 'like' in this context.

× Besides this, they also likes to explore new country views, ideas and communicate as well.

✓ Besides that, they also like to explore new countries' sights and ideas and to communicate as well.

Subject 'they' requires plural verb 'like' not 'likes'. 'New country views' is unnatural; 'new countries' sights' or 'views of new countries' is better. Use parallel infinitive structure 'to explore... and to communicate'.