鞋子— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Reduce filler words and correct verb forms. Use linking words for clarity (for example, “also” or “because”).

示例: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes. I usually buy a new pair about once a month because I like to match my shoes to different outfits, and sometimes I shop online for variety and discounts.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence, then provide one or two specific reasons with linking words. Correct grammar (use present perfect or simple past appropriately) and countable/uncountable forms (many discounts, many brands).

示例: Yes, I often buy shoes online because there are many discounts and a wider selection. For example, I compare brands on different websites, which saves me time and money.

建议: Answer directly with an approximate amount or range, then explain briefly why. Use correct tense and clearer sequencing (use linking words like “because” and “so”). Avoid vague statements like “a lot of money.”

示例: I usually spend around $50 to $80 per month on shoes because new models appear online every month, so I often buy pairs I like when they are released.

建议: Start with a clear preference sentence, then support it with a specific reason and an example. Correct phrasing (e.g., “comfortable shoes help me feel relaxed all day”) and remove repetition.

示例: I prefer comfortable shoes because they keep me relaxed throughout the day. For instance, I choose cushioned trainers when I know I will be walking a lot.

× Uh I shoes also change several outfit our outfit as well.

✓ Uh I also change my shoes with several outfits.

The sentence uses incorrect pronouns and word order. 'I shoes' is wrong; use 'I' as subject and 'shoes' as object with a verb. 'our outfit' is incorrect when referring to the speaker's outfits; use 'my outfits'. Suggested structure: 'I also change my shoes with several outfits.' This corrects pronoun use and order.

× Mostly I buy shoes every one month because I have to go with that rent and sometime I bought shoe about shoe from online as well.

✓ Mostly I buy shoes every month because of my rent, and sometimes I buy shoes online as well.

Problems: 'every one month' should be 'every month' (quantifier/time expression). 'sometime' should be 'sometimes'. 'I bought shoe about shoe from online' is ungrammatical; use present tense 'I buy shoes online' to match habitual action. Also 'because I have to go with that rent' is unclear; 'because of my rent' is more natural.

× Yes, a lot of time I bought shoes online as well because in the online site there is so many discount on the shoes.

✓ Yes, a lot of times I buy shoes online as well because there are many discounts on the site.

The speaker describes a habitual action, so use present tense 'I buy' rather than past 'I bought'. 'A lot of time' should be 'a lot of times'. 'There is so many discount' has subject-verb agreement and count noun errors: use 'there are many discounts'.

× So I check every brand through online.

✓ So I check every brand online.

Use 'online' without 'through' in this context. 'Through' is unnecessary and awkward; 'check online' is the correct prepositional use for browsing websites.

× It's good for me to save my time.

✓ It's good for me because it saves time.

'Save my time' is acceptable but less natural; better to use 'saves time' for general statements. Also aligns subject 'it' (buying online) with verb 'saves'.

× Usually I spend lot of money on my shoes because every month they put a new model through the online website.

✓ Usually I spend a lot of money on shoes because every month new models appear on the website.

Missing article 'a' in 'a lot of money'. 'They put a new model' is unclear; use 'new models appear' or 'the site launches new models'. 'Through the online website' is redundant; use 'on the website'.

× So I checked every day and which one I liked.

✓ So I check every day which ones I like.

The sentence mixes past 'checked' with habitual present context. Use present 'check' and plural 'which ones' to refer to multiple shoes. Remove awkward word order.

× I just got it.

✓ I just buy them when I like them.

'I just got it' is past tense and singular; in context the speaker means they purchase shoes as soon as they like them habitually. Use present 'buy them' and plural 'them' for shoes. Adjust to match habit.

× I prefer comfortable shoes because with the help of comfortable shoes I feel very relaxed on the whole day.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes because they make me feel relaxed all day.

Using 'with the help of comfortable shoes' is wordy and awkward. Replace with pronoun 'they' to refer to shoes. 'On the whole day' is incorrect; use 'all day'.

× I have to walk so I'm very comfortable with the their shoes.

✓ I have to walk a lot, so I'm very comfortable with them.

'the their shoes' is ungrammatical (double article and pronoun). Replace with 'them' to refer to comfortable shoes. Also 'I have to walk' can be clarified as 'I have to walk a lot' to explain preference.