鞋子— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more direct with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundancy and give a brief reason with a linking word. Keep it within 2–3 sentences and add a time phrase to be specific.

示例: I don't particularly enjoy buying shoes; I usually purchase them only when I need a new pair for walking. For example, I typically shop online about once a year because I prefer to replace worn-out shoes rather than buy fashion pairs.

建议: Give a concise direct answer, then add two clear, complete supporting reasons using linking words (e.g., 'first', 'second') and avoid unfinished sentences.

示例: Yes, I buy shoes online most of the time. First, it's convenient because I don't have to visit physical stores; second, online stores offer a wider selection and customer reviews that help me choose.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence stating the typical amount, then briefly explain the reason using a linking word such as 'because' and give a specific example to strengthen the answer.

示例: I usually spend around 10,000 Japanese yen per pair. Because I prefer practical, everyday shoes rather than vintage or designer pairs, I avoid spending large sums on fashion shoes.

建议: Answer directly and support with one or two specific reasons and a short example using a linking word like 'because' or 'however' to show nuance.

示例: I definitely prefer comfortable shoes because I walk and run a lot, so support and cushioning are important. However, I sometimes choose fashionable shoes for special occasions to look more polished.

× Well, I don't like buying shoes, but I buy because I need the shoes for walking.

✓ Well, I don't like buying shoes, but I buy them because I need shoes for walking.

Issues: incorrect pronoun use and article use. Replace 'the shoes' with 'them' to refer back to 'shoes' (pronoun), and use 'shoes' without 'the' when speaking generally. Use of pronoun 'them' clarifies object reference and removing the definite article makes the statement natural when speaking about shoes in general. (Grammar problem types: 12, 22)

× I often shop online once a year.

✓ I often shop online once a year.

This sentence is grammatical but may have a minor logical issue: 'often' and 'once a year' conflict because 'often' implies frequent action while 'once a year' is infrequent. Consider choosing one: 'I often shop online' or 'I shop online once a year.' No grammatical correction necessary. (Grammar problem type: 27 - subject-verb agreement checked)

× Yes, and most of the time I buy shoes online.

✓ Yes, most of the time I buy shoes online.

Redundant conjunction 'and' at the start is unnecessary and makes the sentence slightly informal or fragmented. Removing 'and' produces a clearer sentence. This is a sentence structure/style issue. (Grammar problem type: 26)

× One thing is that you don't have to go to the store, so it's convenient and another reason is that there.

✓ One reason is that you don't have to go to the store, so it's convenient, and another reason is that it's easy to compare prices online.

Multiple issues: sentence fragment 'another reason is that there' is incomplete. Also preposition/structure issues: 'One thing is that' is awkward; 'One reason is that' is more natural. Provide a complete clause for 'another reason.' Corrected sentence supplies a clear second reason. (Grammar problem type: 11 and 26)

× Shoes I buy are most of the time not so cheap but not so expensive.

✓ The shoes I buy are usually neither very cheap nor very expensive.

Singular/plural and word order/style: original word order is awkward. Adding 'The' clarifies noun reference, and using 'neither...nor' with 'usually' gives a natural expression. This corrects plurality nuance and improves sentence structure. (Grammar problem type: 1)

× About 10K Japanese yen a pair.

✓ I usually spend about 10,000 Japanese yen a pair.

Sentence fragment lacking a verb; present tense habitual action fits context. Expand to full sentence 'I usually spend...' to match surrounding present-tense descriptions. (Grammar problem type: 6 and 23)

× I want practical shoes so I don't go for vintage expensive shoes.

✓ I want practical shoes, so I don't go for vintage expensive ones.

Style and sentence structure: replace repeated noun with pronoun 'ones' to avoid repetition and add a comma before 'so.' This improves clarity and fluency. (Grammar problem type: 26)

× Shoes are for walking and running, so they must be comfortable and convenient at the same time.

✓ Shoes are for walking and running, so they must be comfortable and convenient.

Redundant phrase 'at the same time' is unnecessary. Also sentence is grammatical regarding third person. Removed redundancy for conciseness. (Grammar problem type: 2)

× Maybe sometimes you need fashionable shoes.

✓ Maybe sometimes you need fashionable shoes.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable. Consider removing both 'maybe' and 'sometimes' together as redundant: choose 'Maybe you need fashionable shoes' or 'Sometimes you need fashionable shoes.' No grammatical tense change required. (Grammar problem type: 6)