唱歌— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Cevap daha doğal ve net olmalı. Konu cümlesiyle doğrudan başlayın (ör. "Yes, I enjoy singing"). Ünlü isimleri verirken doğru ve örnekleyici olun; “Thriller Streets” gibi hatalı isimleri düzeltin. Destekleyici bilgi olarak kısa bir anı (okul gösterisi) ekleyin, fakat tekrardan kaçının ve cümleleri 3-4 cümleyi geçirmesin. Bağlaçlar (because, and, so) dikkatli kullanılmalı.

示例: Yes, I enjoy singing because it has been a passion of mine since childhood. For example, I used to perform in a school singing show, which motivated me to learn more about different singers like Amy Winehouse and Lana Del Rey.

建议: Cevap kısa ve net olmalı; gerekçeleri mantıklı sırayla ve düzgün dilbilgisiyle verin. "so exhausted" ifadesi yerine daha uygun ifadeler kullanın (e.g. tiring or time-consuming). "I believe singers are gifted children" gibi ifadeyi daha olgun biçimde ifade edin veya örnek verin. Toplam cümle sayısını 2-3 ile sınırlayın.

示例: No, I have never taken formal singing lessons because they are often expensive and time-consuming. Also, I used to think that many great singers are naturally gifted, so I didn't pursue lessons.

建议: Cevap doğrudan ve doğal olmalı; amaç açık olmalı (I want to sing for my fans because...). "Seen from crowded people" yerine "perform in front of large audiences" gibi doğru ifadeler kullanın. "Creating a new image" fikrini kısa, net bir sebep ve örnekle bağlayın. Gramer ve zaman uyumuna dikkat edin.

示例: I want to sing mainly for my fans because I enjoy performing in front of large audiences. For example, I am working on a new image and stage persona to connect better with my listeners.

建议: Cevap karmaşık ve anlaşılması zor; ana fikri basitçe ifade edin. Neden mutlu hissettirdiğini somutlaştırın (e.g. relieves stress, brings people together). Mantıklı bağlaçlar kullanın ve gereksiz ifadelerden kaçının. Maksimum 3 kısa cümleyle açıklayın.

示例: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness because it helps people relieve stress and express emotions. Also, live performances can bring people together and create a sense of shared joy.

建议: Cevabınızı daha doğal bir İngilizceyle ve daha net sebep göstererek yeniden düzenleyin. "gives me an empathy to understand my own desire" gibi ifadeyi daha basit ve doğru bir şekilde söyleyin (e.g. "listening to others inspires me"). Tekrarlardan kaçının ve duyguyu kısa bir örnekle destekleyin.

示例: Yes, I enjoy listening to others sing because it inspires me and makes me more certain that I want to become a singer. For instance, hearing a great performance often motivates me to practice more.

建议: Cevabınızda geçmiş deneyimi net ve düzgün zamanlarla ifade edin (I took a singing class in middle school). Neden faydasız olduğunu açıkça belirtin ve somut örnek verin; uygunsuz ifadeleri sadeleştirin. Cümle sayısını 2-3 ile sınırlandırın.

示例: Yes, I took a mandatory singing class in middle school, but I didn't find it very helpful. For example, the class focused on a few students showing off, and I didn't get much individual feedback.

× Yes, because from my childhood until now I had a dream about being a singer such as Amy Winehouse, Lana Del Rey, Thriller Streets.

✓ Yes, because from my childhood until now I have had a dream of being a singer like Amy Winehouse or Lana Del Rey.

The original mixes past perfect 'had' with 'from my childhood until now' which requires present perfect 'have had' to show a continuing state. Also 'about being a singer such as' is awkward; use 'a dream of being a singer like' and remove unclear 'Thriller Streets'. Improve by using present perfect for experiences or states that continue to present and choose clear examples. Suggestion: Use 'I have had a dream of being a singer since my childhood.'

× In my school I had a show about singing.

✓ At my school I performed in a singing show.

'In my school' is acceptable but 'at my school' is more natural. 'I had a show about singing' is awkward and ungrammatical for a person; use 'performed in a singing show' or 'there was a singing show at my school.' Also 'had a show' can mislead; be specific about role. Suggestion: 'There was a singing show at my school, and I performed in it.'

× No, I've never ever learned how to sing because the lessons are so expensive and also so exhausted because you need to go the studio and also I believe in. A. Singers are gifted Childs.

✓ No, I've never learned to sing because lessons are expensive and exhausting; you need to go to a studio. I also believe singers are born gifted.

Use 'learned to sing' not 'learned how to sing' (both possible but 'learned to sing' is concise). 'Never ever' is redundant; 'never' suffices. 'So exhausted' incorrectly describes lessons; use 'exhausting'. 'Go the studio' missing preposition 'to'. The sentence 'I believe in. A. Singers are gifted Childs.' is fragmented and incorrect: use 'I also believe singers are born gifted.' 'Childs' is wrong plural of child and unneeded. Use 'born gifted' or 'are naturally talented.' Suggestion: Keep sentences concise, correct adjective forms, and use proper prepositions.

× I want to especially sing for my fans because I want to be seen from crowded people and also I wanted to be admirable person from my fans.

✓ I especially want to sing for my fans because I want to be seen by large crowds and admired by them.

'Be seen from crowded people' is incorrect; use passive with 'by' and 'large crowds' or 'crowded audiences.' Tense inconsistency: 'want' present vs 'wanted' past—use present 'want' throughout. 'Admirable person from my fans' is incorrect word order and preposition; use 'admired by them.' Suggestion: Use 'seen by' and 'admired by' and keep consistent present tense.

× Due to this I am creating a new image for my singer personals.

✓ Because of this, I am creating a new image for my persona as a singer.

'Due to this' is formal but acceptable; 'Because of this' flows better. 'Singer personals' is ungrammatical—'persona' or 'image as a singer' is correct. 'Personals' is wrong plural noun form. Use 'my persona as a singer' or 'my image as a singer.' Suggestion: Use correct noun 'persona' and clear prepositional phrase 'image as a singer.'

× Yes, because singing nuts imply just behavior of your voice also imply that's you can't being in touch with the people and they can admire you and you can meets your human demands so.

✓ Yes, because singing can express your voice and help you connect with people; they can admire you and you can satisfy your personal needs.

The original contains many incorrect words: 'singing nuts' makes no sense; likely meant 'singing' or 'singing not only'. 'Imply just behavior of your voice' is awkward—use 'express your voice.' 'That's you can't being in touch' incorrect grammar: use 'help you connect' or 'put you in touch with.' 'Meets your human demands' wrong verb and phrasing: use 'satisfy your personal needs.' Keep clear clause structure and correct verb forms. Suggestion: Simplify clauses, use correct verbs ('connect', 'admire', 'satisfy'), and avoid literal translations.

× Yes, I like listening to others singing because it gives me an empathy to understand my own desire because when I see the others singers I can comprehend my desire to be a singer so bad.

✓ Yes, I like listening to other people sing because it helps me understand my own desire; when I see other singers I realize how much I want to be one.

Use 'other people sing' or 'others singing' but 'others singing' with 'others' as pronoun is fine; more natural: 'other people sing.' 'Gives me an empathy' is incorrect collocation; 'helps me empathize' or 'helps me understand' is better. 'The others singers' wrong article and order; should be 'other singers.' 'So bad' informal and nonstandard; use 'very much' or 'deeply.' Suggestion: Use natural collocations: 'helps me understand', 'other singers', and avoid 'so bad'.

× Yes, I was taking a singing class in my middle school but it was a mandatory class so this was not special for me and also not beneficial for me.

✓ Yes, I took a singing class in middle school, but it was mandatory, so it was not special or beneficial to me.

'I was taking' (past continuous) implies an ongoing action at a specific time; simple past 'I took' is more usual for completed school experiences. 'In my middle school' better as 'in middle school' or 'at my middle school.' 'Not special for me and also not beneficial for me' is repetitive; combine 'not special or beneficial to me.' Suggestion: Use simple past for completed past events and concise phrasing.

× For instance, there was some people that show themselves and singing but I but this situation isn't includes me.

✓ For instance, there were some people who showed off and sang, but this did not include me.

'There was some people' has subject-verb agreement; use 'there were some people.' 'People that show themselves and singing' is ungrammatical; use 'who showed off and sang.' 'This situation isn't includes me' has wrong negative and verb form; use 'did not include me.' Maintain past tense consistent with previous sentence. Suggestion: Ensure subject-verb agreement, use 'who' for people, and correct past tense forms.