零食— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and fluent: remove hesitations and deliver a clear topic sentence followed by one supporting detail. Use a linking word to connect idea and give a brief example if needed. Also avoid repeating words like "the time".

示例: I usually eat snacks while studying because they help me concentrate. For example, a small fruit or a handful of nuts gives me steady energy so I can study for longer periods without getting distracted.

建议: Organize your response with a clear contrast using linking words (e.g., "however", "on the other hand"). Avoid filler phrases and repetition; give specific reasons why some snacks are unhealthy.

示例: It depends on the snack. Healthy options like fruits and nuts are beneficial because they provide vitamins and protein. However, artificially flavored snacks and processed foods are unhealthy since they contain excessive sugar and additives, which can cause weight gain and fatigue.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details. Reduce hesitations and vague phrases like "some thing" and avoid repeating similar words. Mention a specific memory to make the answer more vivid.

示例: Yes, I often ate snacks as a child. For instance, my parents usually bought chocolates or biscuits in the evening after work, and we would share them while watching TV together.

建议: Start with a direct topic sentence naming your favorite snacks, then give one or two specific reasons or examples. Remove hesitations and incomplete endings. Avoid vague phrases like "a something" and finish your thought about what it helps you avoid.

示例: Nowadays I prefer healthy snacks such as fresh fruit and cashews because they are nutritious and satisfying. I also carry small packets of almonds or dried fruit in my bag so I can eat something quick between classes and avoid overeating at meals.

× 'Most of the time I prefer eating some snacks while studying.'

✓ 'Most of the time I prefer to eat snacks while studying.'

'Prefer' is usually followed by the infinitive (to + base verb) or a gerund depending on nuance. In this context, using the infinitive 'to eat' is more natural and idiomatic. Suggestion: use either "I prefer to eat" or consistently use gerunds for both verbs (e.g., "I prefer eating and studying"), but here 'prefer to eat snacks while studying' is clearer.'

× 'It umm helps me to focus on my books and the things I learn at the time.'

✓ 'It helps me focus on my books and what I am learning at the time.'

'Helps' should take the base verb without to when followed by 'focus' in this structure, and 'the things I learn' is awkward; use 'what I am learning' to match the ongoing action. Also remove filler 'umm' in formal responses.'

× 'It depends on the thing I am eating.'

✓ 'It depends on what I am eating.'

'Depends on' should be followed by a clause or noun phrase. 'The thing I am eating' is grammatically possible but awkward; 'what I am eating' is the natural choice for spoken English.'

× 'if it's something artificial, it's totally it's not good for our health and we should reduce such kind of artificial flavours and meals.'

✓ 'If it is something artificial, it is not good for our health, and we should reduce such artificial flavours and processed foods.'

'It's totally it's not good' is ungrammatical and repetitive; combine into a single clause. 'Such kind of' is nonstandard; use 'such' or 'this kind of'. 'Meals' is awkward here; 'processed foods' or 'highly processed foods' is more accurate.'

× 'Yes, I always loved eating snacks when I was a child.'

✓ 'Yes, I always loved eating snacks when I was a child.'

'Loved' is correct to describe a habitual past action. No correction needed; included for completeness.'

× 'Uh, even my parents bought some uh, thing in the evening after they return home after work.'

✓ 'Even my parents used to buy something in the evening when they returned home from work.'

'Bought' (past simple) conflicts with 'return' (present). Use a consistent past habitual structure: 'used to buy' or 'bought ... when they returned.' Also 'something' is sufficient instead of 'thing.' Remove fillers.'

× 'So like they always bought us chocolates or biscuits as small snacks to have in the evening.'

✓ 'They would always buy us chocolates or biscuits as small snacks to have in the evening.'

'Bought' is fine but 'would always buy' better expresses repeated past habit. Plural 'chocolates or biscuits' is correct. This is mainly style; corrected to match habitual past.'

× 'And nowadays I like eating fruits or some cashews as a snack.'

✓ 'Nowadays I like eating fruit or some cashews as a snack.'

'Fruit' as an uncountable noun is preferred when speaking generally; 'fruits' can be used when referring to different kinds. Also remove starting conjunction 'And' in formal responses.'

× 'Uh, I always have some, uh, packets of snacks in my bag.'

✓ 'I always have some packets of snacks in my bag.'

Remove filler 'uh' and ensure no comma breaks the noun phrase. 'Packets of snacks' is plural and matches the plural idea; subject 'I' with 'have' is correct. This is mainly punctuation and filler removal.'

× 'So whenever I feel I need to have a something, I have it with me.'

✓ 'So whenever I feel I need to have something, I have it with me.'

The phrase 'a something' is incorrect; use 'something' without an article. Also keep the clause concise: 'I need to have something' is correct.'

× 'It's really easy and a good way to avoid, uh.'

✓ 'It's really easy and a good way to avoid hunger between meals.'

The sentence is incomplete and ends with a filler. Specify what is being avoided (e.g., 'hunger between meals') to complete the thought and remove 'uh.'