家乡— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make the answer more natural and slightly more informative by combining sentences and using correct prepositions. Avoid short choppy sentences and add a brief linking phrase.

示例: I'm from a small town in the Donetsk region in the east of Ukraine. It's a quiet place where people know each other well.

建议: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitation, correct grammar (e.g. 'what makes me love' → 'what I love'), use linking words for details, and give one specific example to support your point.

示例: What I love about my hometown is its small size because people know each other well. For example, I can walk down the main street and run into friends or neighbors, which makes the town feel safe and friendly.

建议: Make the tense and time expression smoother by using past simple or present perfect with clear time markers. You can combine the two parts into one natural sentence and add a short linking phrase if needed.

示例: I lived there for 17 years before I moved to Baku to study at university.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence, then give specific reasons and an example or consequence. Use linking words like 'because' or 'as a result' to improve coherence and avoid repeating the same phrase ('educational opportunities') too closely.

示例: Not really. Because there are limited educational and entertainment options, many young people move away to find better schools or jobs. As a result, the town is losing a lot of its younger population.

× It's an eastern part of Ukraine.

✓ It's the eastern part of Ukraine.

Use of the definite article 'the' is required before a specific region 'eastern part of Ukraine'. Without 'the' the phrase is ungrammatical in this context. Suggestion: say 'the eastern part of Ukraine.'

× What makes me to love this city is umm, its size because it's uh, quite small town and everyone knew each other and all area is familiar to you.

✓ What makes me love this city is its size, because it's a quite small town, everyone knows each other, and the whole area is familiar to you.

Multiple errors: the verb 'make' should be followed by the base form (make me love), not 'to love' (error type 26). Missing article before 'quite small town' (article error 22) and inconsistent tense 'knew' (past) should be present 'knows' to match general statement (present tense issue 6). Also 'all area' should be 'the whole area' (preposition/article error). Suggestions: use 'make me love', include 'a' before 'quite small town', use present tense 'knows', and 'the whole area'.

× I have lived there for 17 years until I moved for university to Baku.

✓ I lived there for 17 years until I moved to Baku for university.

The original mixes present perfect 'have lived' with a finished time period signaled by 'until I moved', which requires simple past 'lived' (past tense error). Word order 'moved for university to Baku' is awkward; standard order is 'moved to Baku for university.' Suggestion: use simple past 'I lived' and place 'to Baku' before 'for university.'

× Not really, because there are limited educational and entertainment opportunities for young people and nowadays many of them leave this place to find better educational opportunities elsewhere.

✓ Not really, because there are limited educational and entertainment opportunities for young people, and nowadays many of them leave this place to find better opportunities elsewhere.

Repetition of 'educational opportunities' is redundant; this is a word choice/quantifier issue. Also sentence is long and could use a comma before 'and'. Suggestion: remove the repeated phrase and simplify to 'better opportunities elsewhere.'