家乡— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Cải thiện ngữ pháp, phát âm tên riêng và cấu trúc câu; dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, ngắt câu hợp lý và thêm chi tiết cụ thể. Tránh lặp từ và sửa động từ/ danh từ cho đúng (ví dụ: "is in Hung province", "has many beautiful views").

示例: My hometown is in Hung Province, about 60 kilometres from Hanoi. It is a peaceful place with many beautiful views, such as rice fields and small lakes.

建议: Sắp xếp ý rõ ràng, sửa lỗi ngữ pháp và loại bỏ lặp từ. Nên dùng linking words để giải thích lý do và đưa ví dụ cụ thể (ví dụ: weekends, festivals).

示例: I love my hometown because it feels like a safe retreat when I'm stressed or tired. For example, I can spend weekends with my grandparents, who always take care of me and make home-cooked meals.

建议: Dùng thì phù hợp (present perfect or simple past) và nói rõ khoảng thời gian. Tránh lặp từ và sắp xếp câu mạch lạc (ví dụ: "I lived there until I was..." or "I have lived there until age...").

示例: I lived in my hometown until I was about ten, when my family moved to Hanoi for work. Now I come back to visit during holidays or whenever I have free time.

建议: Trình bày ý mạch lạc bằng câu chủ đề, dùng linking words để so sánh (however, although) và sửa cấu trúc/ collocation (e.g. "not crowded", "comfort zone"). Nên đưa ví dụ về công việc hay giải trí cho thanh niên.

示例: I think it depends. Some young people prefer the big city because there are more job and entertainment opportunities; however, others stay in their hometown because it is peaceful and less crowded, which can be better for family life.

× My hometown is hung in province and it is far away from Hanoi capital city, about 60 kilometers and it's a very peaceful and have a lot of beautiful views.

✓ My hometown is Hung in the province and it is far away from Hanoi, the capital city, about 60 kilometers. It's very peaceful and has a lot of beautiful views.

Original sentence misses the definite article 'the' before 'province' and 'capital city', and capitalization of proper noun 'Hung'. It also has a verb form error 'have' where 'has' is needed for subject-verb agreement. Suggest adding 'the' before specific nouns and using correct capitalization and verb form. Grammar problem type ID: 17

× I love my hometown because it is a place I can I can go back when I feel straight and tired because I have my grandparents always take care and love me.

✓ I love my hometown because it is a place I can go back to when I feel stressed and tired because my grandparents always take care of me and love me.

The sentence has repetition 'I can I can', incorrect adjective 'straight' instead of 'stressed', missing preposition 'to' after 'go back', and incorrect word order 'I have my grandparents always take care' and missing 'of' after 'take care'. Fix repetition, use appropriate adjective, include preposition 'to', and correct verb phrase to 'my grandparents always take care of me'. Grammar problem type ID: 27

× I lived there when I was a child, like four or five years old when I when I learned primary school.

✓ I lived there when I was a child, around four or five years old, when I attended primary school.

Use of 'learned primary school' is unnatural; 'attended primary school' correctly expresses enrollment in school. Also remove repeated 'when I'. Maintain past tense 'lived' and 'was'. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× I come to Hanoi City and sometimes, sometimes I come, I go back to my hometown like holiday like it or when it was free.

✓ I came to Hanoi City, and sometimes I go back to my hometown for holidays or when I am free.

Confusion between past and present tense: 'I come to Hanoi City' should be 'I came' to match earlier past context or 'I live in Hanoi City' if present. Also streamline repetition and use 'for holidays' and 'when I am free' for correct tense and idiomatic expression. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× I think that some people like live living in hometown and some people want to come to the big city to have more opportunities to work.

✓ I think that some people like living in their hometown, and some people want to come to the big city to have more opportunities for work.

Missing possessive 'their' before 'hometown' and awkward 'like live living'; correct form is 'like living'. Use 'opportunities for work' or 'job opportunities'. Also add comma and conjunction for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 17

× And some people choose the hometown because it's peaceful, It's a it's a comfort zone and it's a don't crowded.

✓ And some people choose their hometown because it's peaceful; it's a comfort zone and it's not crowded.

Errors include unnecessary repetition 'It's a it's a', incorrect article 'the hometown' should be 'their hometown', and incorrect negative 'it's a don't crowded' should be 'it's not crowded'. Also use semicolon or conjunction to join clauses. Replace 'the hometown' with 'their hometown' for possessive. Grammar problem type ID: 13