工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, correct institution name/capitalization, avoid filler words like "uh", and combine related ideas with linking words. Add one specific detail to show range.

示例: I'm a medical intern at Mono Medical College and Hospital. My main tasks are taking patients' histories and reporting my findings to senior doctors. For example, I usually summarize each patient’s symptoms and vital signs before discussing the case with my supervisor.

建议: Use correct names and smoother linking words: give one clear present detail and then briefly explain the rotation plan with linking words like "currently" and "next". Keep sentences short and accurate.

示例: I work at Mono Medical College and University Hospital. Currently I'm placed in the Obstetrics and Gynecology department, and next I will rotate to Internal Medicine before moving on to the Surgery department.

建议: Provide a direct topic sentence and a specific reason. Rephrase the last clause to sound natural and positive—avoid double negatives and awkward phrasing.

示例: Yes, it's a great place to work because the mentors and professors are very approachable. For example, they welcome questions and often take time to explain procedures even if I need to ask more than once.

建议: Start with a clear opinion and then give a specific reason and a brief contrast using linking words like "however". Mention one concrete cause of exhaustion to add specificity.

示例: Yes, I really like working there because the team is supportive and friendly. However, I sometimes feel exhausted because the long shifts and heavy patient load can be very demanding.

建议: Use correct degree terminology and a concise structure: state the plan, give a reason, and add a specific example of intended research to show ambition and clarity.

示例: In the future I plan to pursue an MD in Cardiology because I want to become a cardiologist. I also hope to do research on heart failure treatments, for example studying new therapies to improve patient outcomes.

× I work as a medical intern in mono Medical College and hospitals and uh basically my task is taking the history from the patient and then inform my senior about the patient.

✓ I work as a medical intern at Mono Medical College and Hospital, and my tasks are taking patients' histories and informing my senior about them.

Errors: incorrect preposition (use 'at' for institutions), inconsistent singular/plural and article use ('hospitals' vs 'Hospital'), awkward sentence structure, incorrect verb forms ('task is taking' should be 'tasks are taking' and 'inform' should be 'informing'), and possessive for patients. Suggestion: Use 'at' for workplace, capitalize proper noun, make subject and verbs agree, use plural for repeated tasks, and use the possessive 'patients'' for histories. Use commas to separate clauses.

× I work in monomerical college and hospitals at UH.

✓ I work at Mono Medical College and Hospital, at UH.

Errors: incorrect preposition 'in' for an institution (use 'at'), incorrect spelling/compounding of the institution name ('monomerical'), and inconsistent plural 'hospitals'. Suggestion: Use 'at' for specific institutions, correct the name and maintain singular/plural consistency.

× Currently I'm appointed at obstetrics and gynecology department.

✓ Currently I'm appointed to the Obstetrics and Gynecology department.

Errors: preposition choice ('appointed at' -> 'appointed to'), missing articles and capitalization for department name. Suggestion: Use 'appointed to' and include the definite article 'the' before 'Obstetrics and Gynecology department' and capitalize the department name.

× Then I will be rotated to internal medicine and lastly I will join the surgery department.

✓ Then I will be rotated to Internal Medicine, and finally I will join the Surgery department.

Errors: word choice 'lastly' (use 'finally'), inconsistent capitalization for department names, and punctuation for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'finally' for sequence, capitalize department names, and add a comma before the conjunction.

× Yes, it is a very good place to work because the mentor, supervisors and professors are very approachable and friendly, even though they don't mind I ask some questions more than once.

✓ Yes, it is a very good place to work because the mentors, supervisors, and professors are very approachable and friendly; they don't mind if I ask some questions more than once.

Errors: article/number agreement ('the mentor' vs plural 'mentors'), missing commas in a list, incorrect clause linking ('even though they don't mind I ask' is ungrammatical), and punctuation. Suggestion: Make noun number consistent with context (plural), use 'if' to introduce condition, and separate clauses with appropriate punctuation.

× Yes, I would love the place where I work because it has a very supportive and friendly environment, but sometimes I feel exhausted as my work is highly demanding.

✓ Yes, I love the place where I work because it has a very supportive and friendly environment, but sometimes I feel exhausted because my work is very demanding.

Errors: tense/word choice ('would love' suggests hypothetical; use 'love' for current preference), conjunction choice ('as' is acceptable but can be ambiguous; 'because' is clearer), and adverb choice ('highly demanding' is awkward; 'very demanding' is natural). Suggestion: Use present simple for current feelings and 'because' to state reasons clearly.

× In future I would love to pursue AMD degree on cardiology because I want to be a very good cardiologist and I also want to research on cardiovascular medicine.

✓ In the future I would like to pursue an MD degree in Cardiology because I want to be a good cardiologist and I also want to conduct research in cardiovascular medicine.

Errors: missing article 'the' before 'future', incorrect phrase 'would love to pursue' (politeness ok but 'would like' is more natural for plans), incorrect degree abbreviation ('AMD' should be 'MD' unless specific), wrong preposition 'on cardiology' -> 'in Cardiology', article before degree 'an MD degree', and verb choice 'research on' -> 'conduct research in'. Suggestion: Use 'in the future' or 'in the future', use 'would like' for intentions, correct degree term and prepositions, and use 'conduct research in' for academic activities.