工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be careful with grammar and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and prepositions, and simplify where possible. Use one or two supporting details linked with 'because' or 'so' to explain your situation. Avoid extraneous abbreviations or unclear terms (e.g., 'plus 2IN').

示例: I am a student who has just graduated from the science faculty and I am currently living in Kathmandu to prepare for the common entrance exam. I am preparing for this exam because it is required to pursue a medical career.

建议: Open with a direct topic sentence saying you are not working and then add a linked supporting detail about your tutoring experience. Fix tense and punctuation, and use linking words like 'however' or 'because' to connect ideas. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

示例: I am not working at the moment, but I plan to start tutoring after I pass my entrance exam. I have tutored a third-grade child before and I enjoyed it, so I am confident I will begin tutoring soon.

建议: Good clear answer with relevant details. Improve coherence by removing repetition and correcting small errors ('with the that of'). Use linking phrases like 'for example' or 'because' to show reasons more smoothly. Keep sentences concise (max 4).

示例: Yes, tutoring is a good job for me because it is flexible and comfortable. For example, I can set my own schedule with students and decide whether to teach at my home or theirs.

建议: Answer directly and divide into two concise sentences: state preference, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Correct collocations ('beside my house' -> 'next to my house'; 'silent environment' -> 'a quiet environment'). Avoid long run-on sentences.

示例: I would like the place where I work because it should be convenient and quiet. For example, when I tutored a third-grader, his house was next to mine and we had a private room, which made it easy to teach in a quiet environment.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence outlining your main plans, then add linked specific details. Fix grammar (children's -> children, Diys -> DIYs, bookies -> booklets). Avoid filler words ('uh') and keep within 3–4 sentences. Mention how you will balance both activities to show planning.

示例: In the future I plan to work as a tutor because I enjoy teaching children and want to help them learn new concepts and build good relationships. I also plan to start an online page to sell my crafts and DIY booklets, so I can earn income from my hobby while tutoring.

× I'm a student who have just graduated plus 2IN science faculty and currently I'm staying in Kathmandu for preparing common entrance exam.

✓ I'm a student who has just graduated from the Science faculty with a 2nd division, and currently I'm staying in Kathmandu to prepare for the common entrance exam.

Subject 'who' refers to 'I', so verb needs third person singular 'has' (Grammar Problem Type 2 and 27). Also missing preposition 'from' after 'graduated', incorrect phrase 'plus 2IN' corrected to 'with a 2nd division', and 'for preparing' should be 'to prepare for' the exam. Suggestion: use 'who has' for relative clause referring to I, include correct prepositions and clearer phrase for degree.

× It is one of the tough national exam which is mandatory for a student to pursue a career in medical field.

✓ It is one of the toughest national exams, which is mandatory for a student to pursue a career in the medical field.

Use superlative form 'toughest' or comparative structure and plural 'exams' for 'one of the ... exams'. Add comma before 'which' for nonrestrictive clause, and include definite article 'the' before 'medical field'. Suggestion: use correct adjective form and plural noun and include 'the' where specific field is meant.

× Currently I'm not working anywhere but soon I plan to work as a tutor after I pass grade 10I tutored a child of grade 3 and I found that interesting so I will start that soon enough.

✓ Currently I'm not working anywhere, but soon I plan to work as a tutor after I pass grade 10. I tutored a child in grade 3 and found it interesting, so I will start soon enough.

Run-on sentence and tense/tense sequence issues: separate into sentences. Use 'in grade 3' and 'found it interesting' (pronoun object). Ensure 'pass grade 10' is present/future appropriate. Suggestion: split sentences, use correct preposition 'in' and pronoun 'it'.

× Yes, I think that tutoring is quite flexible and comfortable for a student like me.

✓ Yes, I think that tutoring is quite flexible and comfortable for a student like me.

No grammatical correction needed regarding articles here; sentence is acceptable. If needed, note that 'a student like me' is correct. (No change.)

× We do not have to go to a particular office to teach students.

✓ We do not have to go to a particular office to teach students.

Sentence is correct. Pronoun use 'we' is appropriate referring to tutors. (No change.)

× We can fix our own schedule with the that of our student and choose whether to teach in our own house or theirs.

✓ We can fix our own schedule with that of our student and choose whether to teach in our own house or theirs.

Remove extra article 'the' before 'that'. 'With that of our student' correctly compares schedules. Suggestion: avoid redundant articles.

× Currently I'm not working but as I mentioned earlier I tutored a child of grade 3 and his house was just besides my house so it was very comfortable for me to reach there and the place was cozy and we had our own private room so that I could teach him in peace and in silent environment.

✓ Currently I'm not working, but as I mentioned earlier I tutored a child in grade 3 and his house was just beside my house, so it was very convenient for me to get there. The place was cozy and we had a private room, so I could teach him in peace and a quiet environment.

Use 'in grade 3' not 'of grade 3'. Preposition 'beside' (not 'besides') and 'convenient' fits context better than 'comfortable for me to reach there'. Use 'get there' or 'reach there'. 'Private room' doesn't need 'our' if it's his and tutor's; keep 'a private room'. Use 'quiet' instead of awkward 'silent environment' and include articles appropriately. Suggestion: use correct prepositions and collocations ('in grade 3', 'beside', 'quiet environment').

× I'm very fond of children and I like spending time with them, so I'm thinking of tutoring children's again so that I can teach them new concepts and build good relation with them.

✓ I'm very fond of children and I like spending time with them, so I'm thinking of tutoring children again so that I can teach them new concepts and build good relationships with them.

Remove incorrect possessive 'children's'—use plural noun 'children'. Use plural 'relationships' or 'a good relationship' and include article if singular. Suggestion: avoid unnecessary apostrophes; match noun number.

× And also, I'm thinking of opening an online page for my crafts and Diys because I'm very fond of it and I tend to, uh, make bookies in my free time.

✓ Also, I'm thinking of opening an online page for my crafts and DIYs because I'm very fond of them, and I tend to make booklets in my free time.

Avoid starting sentences with 'And also' — use 'Also'. 'DIYs' plural and refer to them as 'them' not 'it'. Replace filler 'uh'. 'Bookies' is ambiguous; likely 'booklets' fits. Suggestion: use appropriate pronouns for plural nouns and clearer vocabulary; avoid fillers.