工作Part 1 评分报告

模考Part12026-06-25 14:12:33

对话

Part 1

考官

Do you work or are you a student?

考生

I'm currently high school student in New Zealand. Now I will send you a grade and three months ago I will graduate high school. I'm studying abroad about 2 1/2 year and I really enjoy it.

考官

Where do you work?>

考生

I haven't worked before, as I said I'm studying abroad using student visa so I cannot work in New Zealand, but I'm enjoying chatting with friends and hang out with my host family.

考官

Is it a good place to work?

考生

From my perspective, New Zealand is white company compared with Japan because generally New Zealand company will stop working around 5:00 PM. That is unbelievable in Japan and I really respect it.

考官

Would you like the place where you work?

考生

As I said, I never worked before. Instead I would like to talk about my dream job, that is establish my own company and also I would like to inherit my mother's prayer. This is because I want to gain a.

考官

What are your future work plans?

考生

My future work plan is specific than other people. First, when I graduate university, I would like to work under my mom's firm, and after that I will inherit my mom's company and also.

评估

总分

总分: 6.0流畅度与连贯性: 6.0发音: 6.0语法: 5.5词汇: 6.0

Part 1

Do you work or are you a student?

分数: 45.0

建议: 回答は主題を示す導入文があるが、文法誤りや時制の混乱、冗長な表現があり意味が取りにくくなっています。具体的には「a high school student」「I will graduate three months ago(時制の誤り)」「studying abroad for about 2 1/2 years」などを修正する必要があります。改善策:短い正確な主文(I'm a high school student in New Zealand.)を置き、補助情報は時制と語順に注意して1〜2文で付け加える。接続詞(and / because)を適切に使って流れを整える。

示例: I'm a high school student in New Zealand. I came here about two and a half years ago to study, and I'll graduate in three months. I really enjoy living here because I get to experience a different culture and practice my English.

Where do you work?

分数: 55.0

建议: 回答は質問に直接答えており内容は明確ですが、文法('studying abroad on a student visa'、'hang out'の形)と句読点の改善、文を2〜3文に分けて情報を整理するとより自然になります。接続詞で理由と現在の活動をつなぐと論理的です。

示例: I haven't worked before because I'm studying in New Zealand on a student visa, which doesn't allow me to work. Instead, I spend my free time chatting with friends and hanging out with my host family, which helps me improve my English and learn about local customs.

Is it a good place to work?

分数: 60.0

建议: 意見は示せているが表現が不自然です('white company'は誤用)。代わりに 'more relaxed' や 'better work-life balance' を使い、理由を具体的に述べると良いです。また時制と冠詞('a New Zealand company')に注意し、一文を短くして要点を明確に。

示例: From my perspective, New Zealand companies tend to be more relaxed than those in Japan. For example, many offices finish work around 5:00 PM, which shows a better work–life balance and is something I really respect.

Would you like the place where you work?

分数: 35.0

建议: 質問の意図(その職場で働きたいか)に直接答えられていません。また文が未完で意味が途切れています。語法('I have never worked before'、'establish my own company')と表現の明確化が必要です。改善策:まず質問に短く答え、その後で夢や理由を具体的に2文以内で述べる。未完の文を完成させ、'inherit my mother's business' など正しい語彙を使う。

示例: I haven't worked yet, so I can't say for sure whether I'd like a particular workplace. My dream is to start my own company and eventually take over my mother's business, because I want to continue her legacy and build on the work she has done.

What are your future work plans?

分数: 40.0

建议: 主旨はあるが比較表現('more specific than other people')や文法('work at my mom's firm'、'inherit my mom's company')に誤りがあります。文も未完で情報が不足しています。改善策:計画を時系列で簡潔に述べ、なぜその道を選ぶか具体的な理由や目標を1〜2文で補う。

示例: My future work plan is quite clear. After I graduate from university, I plan to work at my mother's firm to learn the business, and later I hope to take over the company so I can continue and expand her work.

语法

Article errors

× I'm currently high school student in New Zealand.

I'm currently a high school student in New Zealand.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before singular countable noun 'high school student'. Add 'a' to indicate one member of that group. Suggestion: use 'a' or 'the' appropriately with singular countable nouns.

Future tense issue

× Now I will send you a grade and three months ago I will graduate high school.

I will receive my grade soon, and three months ago I graduated from high school.

Tense confusion: 'three months ago' requires past tense, so use 'graduated'. 'Now I will send you a grade' is unnatural; clarify with 'I will receive my grade soon' or 'I will be sent my grade soon'. Ensure past and future markers match verb tense.

Present tense issue

× I'm studying abroad about 2 1/2 year and I really enjoy it.

I've been studying abroad for about two and a half years, and I really enjoy it.

Duration with present perfect: use 'I've been studying' for action continuing to present and 'for' with duration. Plural 'years' required. Spell out numbers in natural text if needed.

Third person singular issue

× I haven't worked before, as I said I'm studying abroad using student visa so I cannot work in New Zealand, but I'm enjoying chatting with friends and hang out with my host family.

I haven't worked before. As I said, I'm studying abroad on a student visa, so I cannot work in New Zealand, but I enjoy chatting with friends and hanging out with my host family.

Multiple issues: preposition 'on a student visa' corrects 'using'. Compound sentence needs punctuation. Use 'enjoy' instead of 'I'm enjoying' for habitual activities; 'hanging out' is the gerund form after 'enjoy'.

Article errors

× From my perspective, New Zealand is white company compared with Japan because generally New Zealand company will stop working around 5:00 PM.

From my perspective, New Zealand companies are more relaxed compared with Japan because generally New Zealand companies stop working around 5:00 PM.

Article and noun number: use plural 'companies' when speaking generally. 'White company' is incorrect collocation; replace with 'more relaxed' or appropriate adjective. Also avoid 'will stop' for habitual behavior; use present simple 'stop'.

Incorrect use of pronouns

× That is unbelievable in Japan and I really respect it.

That is unbelievable in Japan, and I really appreciate it.

Pronoun 'it' is acceptable but 'respect' is awkward for a policy or practice; 'appreciate' or 'admire' fits better. Also add comma before 'and' in compound sentence.

Verb in the present participle form

× As I said, I never worked before. Instead I would like to talk about my dream job, that is establish my own company and also I would like to inherit my mother's prayer.

As I said, I have never worked before. Instead, I would like to talk about my dream job, which is to establish my own company, and I would also like to inherit my mother's business.

Tense: use present perfect 'have never worked' for life experience. Use infinitive 'to establish' after 'is'. 'Inherit my mother's prayer' is likely wrong meaning; use 'business' unless 'prayer' intended. Add commas for clarity.

Sentence structure errors

× This is because I want to gain a.

This is because I want to gain experience.

Sentence incomplete: 'gain a.' is fragmentary. Provide the noun that completes 'gain' (e.g., 'experience', 'skills'). Ensure sentences are complete with object.

Present tense issue

× My future work plan is specific than other people.

My future work plan is more specific than other people's.

Comparative structure: use 'more specific' before 'than'. Also possessive 'other people's' is needed to indicate plans belonging to other people.

Future tense issue

× First, when I graduate university, I would like to work under my mom's firm, and after that I will inherit my mom's company and also.

First, when I graduate from university, I would like to work at my mom's firm, and after that I will inherit my mom's company.

Preposition 'graduate from university' required. Use 'work at' for employment location. Remove trailing 'and also' which is incomplete. Ensure sentence completes the idea.

重点词汇

HighTall; High-ranking; Inflated; Strong; Favorable
NewRecently developed; Novel; Different; Additional; Reinvigorated
多说

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