工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make the answer direct and grammatically correct: state your status in one clear topic sentence, then add one concise supporting detail. Correct major phrasing and avoid redundancy.

示例: I’m a graduate student studying applied linguistics. I don’t have a full‑time job, but I work part‑time at a supermarket to help cover my living expenses.

建议: Answer directly with clear nouns and simple sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct vocabulary (izakaya). Give one specific detail about each place to be informative.

示例: I work at two places: a supermarket and an izakaya, which is a type of Japanese restaurant. The supermarket is busy but efficient, while the izakaya has a relaxed, friendly atmosphere.

建议: Start with a clear topic sentence answering yes/no, then give one specific reason and a short example. Improve grammar (subject-verb agreement) and use smoother linking (for example, however).

示例: Yes, they are good places to work because my colleagues are kind and always willing to help. For example, they explain procedures to me patiently, although I hope to move to a full‑time office job in the future.

建议: Give a direct and natural response: one sentence stating whether you like it, plus one specific supporting detail. Avoid repetition and correct phrases like “take care of me.”

示例: Yes, I enjoy working there because my coworkers are very supportive and often help me when I’m unsure about a task.

建议: Provide a clear topic sentence about your career goal, then explain reasons with concrete skills. Avoid unclear words and fillers. State what kind of consulting and which skills make you suitable.

示例: I would like to work for a consulting firm, ideally in communication consulting, because I have studied applied linguistics and enjoy analyzing how people communicate. I want to apply my skills in research and communication strategy to help clients improve their messaging.

× I am a graduate student majoring applying linguistics.

✓ I am a graduate student majoring in linguistics.

Use the preposition 'in' after 'majoring' to indicate the field of study. Remove the extra verb 'applying' which is incorrect here. Suggestion: say 'majoring in [subject]'.

× So I don't have full time job but I have part time job at the supermarket which helps me to earn money for daily life.

✓ So I don't have a full-time job, but I have a part-time job at a supermarket which helps me earn money for daily expenses.

Missing articles 'a' before 'full-time job' and 'part-time job'; hyphenate compound adjectives 'full-time' and 'part-time'. Use 'a supermarket' for nonspecific place. 'Helps me to earn' is acceptable but 'helps me earn' is more natural. 'For daily life' is awkward; use 'for daily expenses'.

× I work at two places, first one is supermarket and the second one is Izakayo which is which is Japanese for restaurants.

✓ I work at two places. The first one is a supermarket and the second one is an izakaya, which is Japanese for a type of restaurant.

Use articles 'a' for nonspecific nouns: 'a supermarket' and 'an izakaya'. Spell 'izakaya' correctly and treat it as a countable noun. Add a clearer appositive 'which is Japanese for a type of restaurant'. Also split into two sentences for clarity.

× Both are res, both workplaces. Atmosphere is very relaxed and people there.

✓ Both are restaurants/workplaces. The atmosphere is very relaxed and the people there are friendly.

Original is fragmented and unclear: 'res' is incomplete. Combine ideas and add verbs: 'The atmosphere is very relaxed' and 'the people there are friendly'. Ensure each sentence has a subject and verb.

× Yes, it is relatively good places to work because people there are so kind and helpful.

✓ Yes, they are relatively good places to work because the people there are so kind and helpful.

Mismatch between singular 'it is' and plural 'places'. Use plural pronoun 'they' to agree with 'places'. Add 'the' before 'people' for specificity.

× For example, they are good at communicate and they teach me a lot of things about task for me.

✓ For example, they are good at communicating and they teach me a lot about my tasks.

After 'good at' use the gerund form 'communicating'. 'A lot of things about task for me' is awkward; use 'a lot about my tasks' for clarity and correct noun phrase structure.

× But in the future I will like to work full time office job.

✓ But in the future I would like to work a full-time office job.

Use the modal phrase 'would like' for polite future intention rather than 'will like'. Add articles 'a' and hyphenate 'full-time'. Include 'office' as adjective: 'office job'.

× Yes, I like the places where I was I am working, for example.

✓ Yes, I like the places where I am working, for example.

Mixing past 'was' and present 'am' is incorrect. Use present 'am' to match current employment: 'where I am working'.

× People are very kind, for example, they always take care me, take care of me.

✓ People are very kind; for example, they always take care of me.

Correct verb pattern is 'take care of someone'. Remove duplicate phrase and use proper preposition 'of'.

× I would like to work in consulting company, for example, because I take may, uh, lipsticks and communication measure, so I want the job related to that kind of measures.

✓ I would like to work in a consulting company, for example, because I study marketing and communication measures, so I want a job related to those areas.

Add article 'a' before 'consulting company'. Original phrase 'I take may, uh, lipsticks' is unintelligible; likely meant 'I study marketing' or similar—here corrected to 'I study marketing and communication measures'. Use plural 'those areas' and 'a job' for natural phrasing. Ensure coherent vocabulary and sentence flow.