工作— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be clear and grammatically correct: start with a direct topic sentence, then give concise supporting details. Avoid repetitions and incorrect verb forms. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., but, however, and). Limit to 3–4 short sentences.

示例: I am a graduate student studying applied linguistics. I don't have a full-time job, but I work part-time as a service staff member at a supermarket. This part-time work helps me earn money while I focus on my studies.

建议: Answer directly with one clear sentence, then add a brief detail using a linking word. Correct article use and plural nouns, and avoid redundancy.

示例: I work part-time at a supermarket as a service staff member, and I also work at an izakaya, a Japanese bar and restaurant, where I serve food and drinks.

建议: Start with a direct response, then give two specific reasons connected by linking words (because, and). Use correct singular/plural forms and natural phrasing.

示例: Yes, it's a fairly good place to work because the workload is not too heavy and the shifts are flexible. Also, my colleagues are friendly and they have taught me many useful skills.

建议: Give a clear opinion first, then add a concise reason and a future preference. Avoid unclear phrases and grammar errors; use linking words like but and because to connect ideas.

示例: I like my current workplace because the atmosphere is relaxed, but in the future I would prefer a full-time office job because I find part-time service work repetitive and limiting.

建议: Provide a clear topic sentence stating your plan, then explain how your studies support that plan. Use specific job titles or fields and correct sentence structure; avoid starting sentences with 'for example because.'

示例: My plan is to work in an office as a consultant in communication or linguistic services. Since I majored in applied linguistics and communication, I hope to use my knowledge to advise companies on language strategies and cross-cultural communication.

× I am a student especially I'm graduate students who are studying apply linguistics.

✓ I am a student, especially a graduate student who is studying applied linguistics.

The original mixes singular/plural and has incorrect adjective/verb forms. Use 'a graduate student' (singular) to match 'I am a student', and 'applied linguistics' is the correct adjective form. Also add a comma for clarity.

× So I don't have full time job but I have part time job as a service staff at staff at the supermarket.

✓ I don't have a full-time job, but I have a part-time job as a service staff member at the supermarket.

Use articles with countable nouns ('a full-time job', 'a part-time job') and correct repetition 'staff at staff' to 'staff member'. Hyphenate 'full-time' and 'part-time' as compound adjectives.

× I work in supermarket as a service staff and also I work in Izakaya which is Japanese bar restaurant where I serve food and alcohols.

✓ I work in a supermarket as service staff, and I also work in an izakaya, which is a Japanese bar-restaurant where I serve food and alcoholic drinks.

Use articles 'a supermarket' and 'an izakaya'. 'Service staff' can stand without 'a' when uncountable, but 'as service staff' is clearer. 'Japanese bar restaurant' should be 'Japanese bar-restaurant', and 'alcohols' is incorrect; use 'alcoholic drinks'.

× Yes, it is relatively good places to work because that workload is not so heavy.

✓ Yes, it is a relatively good place to work because the workload is not very heavy.

Subject 'it' refers to 'place' (singular), so use 'place' not 'places'. Use article 'a relatively good place'. Replace 'that workload' with 'the workload' and 'not so heavy' with more natural 'not very heavy'.

× And also working colleagues are very good to me, they can teach me a lot of things about tasks.

✓ Also, my colleagues are very kind to me; they can teach me many things about the tasks.

'Working colleagues' is awkward; 'my colleagues' is natural. 'Very good to me' is better as 'very kind to me'. Use 'many things' with countable 'things' and include 'the' before 'tasks' if referring to specific duties.

× Yes as I like the places as our walk but in my future I would like to work in office as my full time job because part time job service staff is just boring.

✓ Yes, I like the place where I work, but in the future I would like to work in an office as my full-time job because a part-time service job is boring.

Use singular 'place' to match 'I like the place where I work'. 'In my future' should be 'in the future'. Use articles 'an office', 'my full-time job', and 'a part-time service job'. Hyphenate 'full-time'.

× My future work plan is working in the office and doing consulting related job.

✓ My future work plan is to work in an office and do consulting-related work.

After 'plan is', use infinitive 'to work' rather than gerund 'working' for clear intention. Use 'an office' and 'consulting-related work' (compound adjective with hyphen) instead of 'consulting related job'.

× For example because I take a major of linguistics and communication so I want make use of them.

✓ For example, because I am majoring in linguistics and communication, I want to make use of them.

Correct verb and preposition: 'majoring in' not 'take a major of'. Use 'am majoring in' or 'majored in'. Include comma after introductory phrase and add 'to' in 'want to make use of them'. 'Linguistics and communication' are fields to 'make use of'.