Bike— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: 답변의 핵심 내용은 전달되지만 문장 구조가 매우 불명확하고 같은 의미의 ‘bike’와 ‘bicycle’이 반복됩니다. ‘since’와 ‘so’를 함께 사용하지 말고, 병원에 간 이유와 자전거를 처분한 결과를 명확한 순서로 연결하세요. 예를 들어 ‘I had to go to the hospital several times, so my parents eventually got rid of it’처럼 과거시제와 결과를 정확하게 사용하면 더 자연스럽습니다. 또한 첫 문장으로 직접 답한 뒤, 한두 문장의 구체적인 설명을 덧붙이는 것이 좋습니다.

Ví dụ: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. However, I had to go to the hospital several times after riding it, so my parents eventually got rid of it. I was disappointed at first, but I understood why they were worried.

Gợi ý: 질문에는 직접 답했지만, ‘The Koreans’보다는 ‘People in Korea’가 더 자연스럽고, ‘has created has also created’와 ‘which’의 반복 때문에 문장이 불안정합니다. 정부가 만든 제도가 무엇인지 구체적으로 설명하고, ‘especially in Seoul’, ‘as a result’와 같은 연결 표현을 사용해 답변의 논리를 분명하게 하세요. ‘bicycle rental and usage systems’는 다소 어색하므로 ‘bike-rental systems’ 또는 ‘public bicycle-sharing systems’라고 표현하는 것이 좋습니다. 인기의 이유나 실제 사용 상황을 한 가지 덧붙이면 내용과 어휘 점수를 높일 수 있습니다.

Ví dụ: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in Korea, especially in Seoul. The government has introduced public bike-rental systems, such as Seoul Bike, so people can easily rent bicycles for commuting or leisure. As a result, many residents use bikes when the weather is pleasant.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, but since I had a bicycle and then I went to hospital so much time so my parents get rid of it.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, but I spent so much time in the hospital that my parents got rid of it.

The verb get should be changed to the past-tense form got because the student is describing events that happened in the past. Use got rid of, not get rid of. Also, spent so much time in the hospital that creates a clear cause-and-effect relationship.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, but since I had a bicycle and then I went to hospital so much time so my parents get rid of it.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, but I spent so much time in the hospital that my parents got rid of it.

The original sentence incorrectly combines since, then, and so. These conjunctions do not form a correct structure here. Use so much time that to show that spending a great deal of time in the hospital caused the parents to get rid of the bicycle.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, but since I had a bicycle and then I went to hospital so much time so my parents get rid of it.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, but I spent so much time in the hospital that my parents got rid of it.

The phrase went to hospital so much time is grammatically incorrect because time cannot directly modify went. Use spent time in the hospital instead. The preposition in correctly indicates the place where the student stayed.

× The government has created has also created bicycle rental and usage systems which which in Seoul which people use a lot.

✓ The government has also created bicycle rental and usage systems in Seoul, which people use a lot.

The original sentence contains a repeated verb phrase, has created has also created, and repeated relative pronouns, which which in Seoul which. Remove the unnecessary words and place in Seoul before the relative clause. A clear sentence structure makes the main clause and the additional information easier to understand.