Part 1
Giám khảo
Did you have a bike when you were a child?
Thí sinh
Yeah, I had a bike when I was a child. I got in when I was a seven years old after I got up into elementary school and my dad's friend's daughter gave it to me. So it was a little old and broken, but uh, I remember that I felt excited, uh, when I.
Giám khảo
Do you think bikes are popular in your country?
Thí sinh
Umm, yes, I believe so because, uh, in Japan most of students and workers commute with their bikes because, umm, we, we don't really have enough transportations, especially in umm, rural areas. So yeah.
Did you have a bike when you were a child?
Điểm: 56.0Gợi ý: 回答は基本的な情報を含んでいますが、発音や文法の誤り、冗長な言い回し、文のまとまりの欠如が見られます。具体的には “I got in” や “after I got up into elementary school” のような不自然な表現、時制や冠詞の誤用(“a seven years old” → “seven years old” または “when I was seven”)、中断した文(最後で文が切れている)、フィラーの多用(uh, umm)が問題です。改善点としては:1) トピックセンテンスで明確に始める(例:“Yes, I had a bike.”)、2) 自然な時表現を使う(“when I was seven”)、3) 補足情報は2文以内で簡潔に述べ、接続詞(because, so, althoughなど)でつなぐ、4) フィラーを減らし、文を最後まで完結させる、5) 単語と構文を正確に使う練習をすること。練習例は以下を参考にしてください。
Ví dụ: Yes, I had a bicycle when I was seven. My dad's friend's daughter gave it to me when I started elementary school, and although it was a bit old and slightly damaged, I was really excited to ride it around the neighborhood.
Do you think bikes are popular in your country?
Điểm: 62.0Gợi ý: 内容は回答になっていますが、流暢さと語彙の正確さが改善できます。問題点はフィラーの多用(umm, uh, we, we)、語法の誤り(“most of students” は “most students”、“transportations” は不可算名詞で “public transport” や “transport options” が適切)、繰り返しと冗長表現です。改善のために:1) フィラーを減らし一呼吸で答える練習をする、2) 名詞の可算/不可算に注意し正しい表現を使う(most students, public transportation/transport options)、3) 理由を述べる際は1か2の具体例を加える(例:commuting to school or work, narrow streets, cost-effective)、4) 接続詞(because, therefore, for example)を自然に使う。以下の例を参考にしてください。
Ví dụ: Yes, I think bicycles are quite popular in Japan. Many students and office workers use them to commute because they are cheap and convenient, especially in rural areas where public transport is infrequent.
× I got in when I was a seven years old after I got up into elementary school and my dad's friend's daughter gave it to me.
✓ I got it when I was seven years old after I entered elementary school and my dad's friend's daughter gave it to me.
'Got in' is incorrect for receiving something; use 'got it'. 'a seven years old' mixes article and plural; correct is 'seven years old' without 'a'. 'got up into elementary school' is incorrect for starting school; use 'entered elementary school' or 'started elementary school'. Improve by using correct verbs for actions and correct age expression.
× So it was a little old and broken, but uh, I remember that I felt excited, uh, when I.
✓ So it was a little old and broken, but I remember that I felt excited when I got it.
The sentence is incomplete and ends abruptly with 'when I.' Complete the clause by specifying the action 'got it'. Remove filler words like 'uh' for clearer speech. Ensure the subordinate clause has a main verb.
× in Japan most of students and workers commute with their bikes because, umm, we, we don't really have enough transportations, especially in umm, rural areas.
✓ In Japan most students and workers commute by bike because we don't really have enough public transportation, especially in rural areas.
'Most of students' should be 'most students' or 'most of the students'. Use 'commute by bike' or 'commute on their bikes' rather than 'with their bikes'. 'Transportations' is uncountable and should be 'public transportation' or 'transport'. Also remove repeated filler 'we, we'. Improve by using correct noun forms and prepositions.
× Umm, yes, I believe so because, uh, in Japan most of students and workers commute with their bikes because, umm, we, we don't really have enough transportations, especially in umm, rural areas. So yeah.
✓ Umm, yes, I believe so because in Japan most students and workers commute by bike since we don't really have enough public transportation, especially in rural areas.
Redundant articles and fillers make the sentence awkward. 'Most of students' is incorrect article usage; remove 'of' or include 'the'. 'transportations' is incorrect plural; use 'transportation'. Also 'So yeah' is conversational filler; keep or remove depending on formality. Use 'since' for causal clarity.