Part 1
Giám khảo
Did you have any opportunities to take part in new activities as a child?
Thí sinh
When I was ten years old before, I think I actually had the time to take a lot of different activities because my parents support me to doing this and I think if you participate in these activities, you would be well rounded person and it will benefit
Giám khảo
Should people try as many different things as they can?
Thí sinh
I think we should try as much as we can because when I was when we were getting older, we would be bored and if we try a lot of activities which can help us relieve the boring feeling when we were getting older and they also helped me
Did you have any opportunities to take part in new activities as a child?
Điểm: 55.0Gợi ý: 回答基本回应了问题,并提到父母支持你参加活动以及活动的好处,但存在明显的语法、搭配和表达不自然问题。例如,“When I was ten years old before”应改为“When I was ten years old”,“take activities”应改为“take part in activities”,“support me to doing”应改为“supported me in doing so”。建议先直接回答“有”,然后具体说明参加了什么活动、父母为什么支持,以及这些活动带来的结果。注意使用过去时,并避免句子过长;可以用“because”“as a result”等连接词组织细节。
Ví dụ: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities when I was ten. My parents encouraged me to take part in swimming and painting classes because they wanted me to become a well-rounded person. As a result, I developed new skills and became more confident.
Should people try as many different things as they can?
Điểm: 45.0Gợi ý: 回答表达了“应该尝试不同事物”的观点,但语法错误和重复较多,导致意思不够清晰。例如,“try as much as we can”应改为“try as many different things as we can”,“when I was when we were getting older”重复且时态混乱,“relieve the boring feeling”应改为“relieve boredom”。建议使用清晰的结构:先表明观点,再给出一个原因和个人例子。不要重复“when we were getting older”,并在结尾完整说明这些活动如何帮助了你。
Ví dụ: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities, although they do not have to do everything. Trying new things can prevent boredom and help people discover their interests. For example, I tried photography as a teenager, and it became a relaxing hobby that I still enjoy today.
× because my parents support me to doing this
✓ because my parents supported me in doing so
“When I was ten years old”描述过去的经历,所以动词“support”应使用过去式“supported”。同时,“doing so”指代前面提到的参加活动。
× support me to doing this
✓ supported me in doing so
“support”后面不能直接使用“to doing”。可以使用“support someone in doing something”,因此应改为“supported me in doing so”。
× take a lot of different activities
✓ take part in a lot of different activities
表示“参加活动”时,应使用固定搭配“take part in activities”,不能说“take activities”。
× you would be well rounded person
✓ you would be a well-rounded person
“person”是可数名词单数,前面需要使用不定冠词“a”。另外,“well-rounded”作为复合形容词修饰名词时通常需要加连字符。
× it will benefit
✓ they will benefit you
前文的主语是复数名词“activities”,所以应使用复数代词“they”,而不是“it”。“benefit”后面加“you”可以明确表示“使你受益”。
× because when I was when we were getting older
✓ because, as we get older, we can become bored
这里是在表达普遍情况,不是在描述某一个过去事件,因此应使用一般现在时“get”。原句中“when I was when we were”重复且时态混乱,应改为“as we get older”。
× try as much as we can
✓ try as many different things as we can
“things”是可数名词复数,应该使用“many”,而不是用于不可数名词的“much”。固定结构是“as many things as we can”。
× relieve the boring feeling
✓ relieve the feeling of boredom
“boring”通常描述“令人感到无聊的人或事物”,而这里想表达“无聊的感觉”,使用“the feeling of boredom”更准确。
× they also helped me
✓ these activities can also help us
整句话是在讨论人们通常会有什么好处,不是单纯描述过去经历,因此“helped”应改为现在时结构“can also help”。同时,“us”与前文的“we”保持一致。
× I think we should try as much as we can because when I was when we were getting older, we would be bored and if we try a lot of activities which can help us relieve the boring feeling when we were getting older and they also helped me
✓ I think we should try as many different things as we can because, as we get older, we can become bored. Trying different activities can help us relieve this feeling, and these activities can also help us in other ways.
原句包含重复的“when”、多个从句连接不完整,以及“and”连接了结构不平行的成分,导致句子过长且难以理解。应拆分句子,并让每个从句都有清楚的主语和谓语。