Part 1
Giám khảo
Did you have any opportunities to take part in new activities as a child?
Thí sinh
Well, when I was in the primary school, my teacher often organized some little little activities like not play. It's it have some party and everyone can tap again and organize a dance or sing if they like and they want.
Giám khảo
Should people try as many different things as they can?
Thí sinh
Yes, of course, I think people should uh, tap in some new, uh, new challenge in their life like uh, not choking. It's just like some, uh, some, some, some they can have have them to improve their healthy and help them have more journey.
Did you have any opportunities to take part in new activities as a child?
Điểm: 35.0Gợi ý: Answer the question directly at the beginning and avoid repeating words such as “little.” Use clearer vocabulary instead of unclear phrases like “not play” and “tap again.” You should explain what the activities were and give one specific example. Also, use the past tense accurately: say “when I was in primary school” and “my teacher organized.”
Ví dụ: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities in primary school. For example, my teacher organized small parties where we could sing, dance, and perform in front of our classmates. I especially enjoyed singing because it helped me become more confident.
Should people try as many different things as they can?
Điểm: 40.0Gợi ý: Give a clear reason for your opinion and support it with a specific example. Replace unclear expressions such as “tap in,” “not choking,” and “have more journey” with natural phrases like “take on new challenges,” “improve their health,” and “gain more experience.” Avoid fillers and repetition, and connect your ideas with linking words such as “because,” “for example,” and “as a result.”
Ví dụ: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because this helps them develop new skills and gain more experience. For example, someone who joins a sports club may improve their physical health and make new friends. As a result, they may become more confident and open-minded.
× when I was in the primary school
✓ when I was in primary school
When referring to primary school in a general sense, we usually do not use the definite article the. Use in primary school rather than in the primary school.
× my teacher often organized some little little activities like not play.
✓ my teacher often organized some small activities, such as games.
The original sentence is incomplete and unclear because like not play does not form a meaningful grammatical structure. Use a complete noun phrase after such as, for example, games.
× It's it have some party
✓ They included some parties
The verb have does not agree with the subject it. Also, the plural noun parties is needed because the sentence refers to more than one party. The revised sentence uses they to refer clearly to the activities.
× everyone can tap again and organize a dance or sing if they like and they want
✓ everyone could take part and organize a dance or sing if they wanted to
The conjunction and is unnecessarily repeated in if they like and they want. A more natural conditional structure is if they wanted to. Could is also appropriate because the answer describes past childhood opportunities.
× people should uh, tap in some new, uh, new challenge in their life
✓ people should take on some new challenges in their lives
The phrase some new requires a plural countable noun, so challenge must become challenges. Because people is plural, the possessive noun life should also be plural: their lives.
× tap in some new challenge
✓ take on some new challenges
The preposition in is not used with challenge in this meaning. The natural expression is take on a challenge or take on some challenges.
× improve their healthy
✓ improve their health
Healthy is an adjective, but the sentence needs a noun after their. Health is the correct noun: improve their health.
× have more journey
✓ have more enjoyable experiences
Journey is a countable noun, so more journey is not grammatically correct in this context. The plural form more journeys is possible, but more enjoyable experiences expresses the intended meaning more naturally.