Opportunities— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Be more concise and correct minor errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two brief, specific examples with linking words. Avoid redundancy and correct vocabulary (say "Rubik's cubes"). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

Ví dụ: Yes, I had many self-made opportunities because I was a curious child. For example, I spent a lot of time solving Rubik's cubes, which improved my problem-solving skills, and later I took up painting, which helped me develop creativity. These experiences taught me to explore new interests actively.

Gợi ý: Make your stance clearer at the start and tighten the explanation. Use linking words to structure reasons and give a specific example or result. Avoid repeating phrases like "as they can." Keep answer to 2–3 sentences for clarity.

Ví dụ: I don't think people must try everything, but they should be open to new experiences because doing so reveals strengths and weaknesses. For instance, trying team sports taught me I enjoy collaboration, while learning piano showed me I prefer solitary practice; these discoveries helped me choose hobbies that suit me.

× But I think those opportunities were mostly self made as I was a very curious child and I really liked to explore new activities such as I was really interested in Ruby's cubes at one time.

✓ But I think those opportunities were mostly self-made, as I was a very curious child and I really liked to explore new activities; for example, I was really interested in Rubik's cubes at one time.

The sentence contains past-tense narrative so 'were' and 'was' are correct, but there is a punctuation and word-choice problem rather than a pure tense error. 'Self made' should be hyphenated as 'self-made' (compound adjective). 'Such as' is followed by a clause, which is awkward; use 'for example' to introduce an example. 'Ruby's cubes' is incorrect proper noun spelling; the correct name is 'Rubik's cubes'. The suggestion: hyphenate compound adjectives, use appropriate connector for examples, and use the correct proper noun spelling.

× And then after that, I was really interested in painting and art.

✓ Then after that, I became really interested in painting and art.

The original uses past 'was' which is acceptable, but using 'became' better indicates a change of interest and fits narrative flow. The issue is improving verb choice to show transition rather than a static state. Suggestion: use 'became' when describing a change in interest in past narrative.

× I don't think it should be a compulsion to try as many different things as they can or as one can,

✓ I don't think it should be a compulsion to try as many different things as one can,

The original mixes 'they' and 'one' in the same clause, creating a pronoun inconsistency. This is not strictly a modal error but relates to modal phrase structure and pronoun consistency. Using 'one' consistently keeps the impersonal modal structure parallel. Suggestion: choose either 'they' (informal plural) or 'one' (formal singular) and keep it consistent.

× but I think that it would be really great if a person tries new things as it really opens new aspects of what you can do or what you cannot do, and it helps you understand yourself better.

✓ but I think that it would be really great if a person tried new things, as it really opens up new aspects of what they can do or cannot do and helps them understand themselves better.

In conditional structures with 'would' in the main clause, the if-clause should use the past tense ('tried') rather than present ('tries'). Also maintain pronoun consistency: use 'they' to refer back to 'a person' or rephrase to 'people' and 'they'. Add 'up' after 'opens' for natural collocation. Suggestion: use past tense in if-clauses with 'would', keep pronouns consistent, and use common collocations.