Part 1
Giám khảo
Did you have any opportunities to take part in new activities as a child?
Thí sinh
I did enjoy taking part in several activities when I was a child. I was really into sports shops, especially basketball or football because I enjoy the teamwork and staying active on weekends.
Giám khảo
Should people try as many different things as they can?
Thí sinh
People should participate in several activities for stepping out of the comfort zone because it's just very essential to enjoy different activities and enriched life experience.
Did you have any opportunities to take part in new activities as a child?
Điểm: 64.0Gợi ý: Be more accurate and natural: correct word choice, simplify and make one clear topic sentence, add a specific detail or brief example, and avoid redundancy. Use linking words to connect ideas. Also keep under five sentences.
Ví dụ: Yes, I had many opportunities to try new activities as a child. For example, I joined a local basketball team and a weekend football club, which helped me learn teamwork and keep fit. As a result, I made friends and stayed active every weekend.
Should people try as many different things as they can?
Điểm: 58.0Gợi ý: Make the main opinion clear in one sentence, use correct grammar and smoother linking phrases, and give a specific reason or brief example. Avoid vague adjectives like "very essential" and correct verb forms (e.g., "enrich" not "enriched").
Ví dụ: Yes, I think people should try different activities to broaden their horizons. For instance, learning a new language or sport can build confidence and introduce you to new friends, which enriches your life.
× I did enjoy taking part in several activities when I was a child.
✓ I enjoyed taking part in several activities when I was a child.
The use of 'did enjoy' is grammatical but unnatural and emphasizes enjoyment unnecessarily in this context. Using the simple past 'enjoyed' is more natural and matches the narrative tone. Suggestion: use simple past tense for routine past statements unless you intend strong emphasis.
× I was really into sports shops, especially basketball or football because I enjoy the teamwork and staying active on weekends.
✓ I was really into sports, especially basketball and football, because I enjoyed the teamwork and staying active on weekends.
'Sports shops' is incorrect here; the correct preposition/object is 'sports' not 'sports shops' (shops are places to buy equipment). Also 'especially basketball or football' should be 'basketball and football' to list activities. Tense consistency: referring to childhood should use past tense 'enjoyed'. Suggestion: replace 'sports shops' with 'sports', use 'and' for listing, and keep past tense for the whole sentence.
× People should participate in several activities for stepping out of the comfort zone because it's just very essential to enjoy different activities and enriched life experience.
✓ People should participate in several activities to step out of their comfort zone because it is essential to enjoy different activities and enrich their life experiences.
'for stepping out of' is awkward; use infinitive 'to step out of'. 'the comfort zone' should be 'their comfort zone' (possessive pronoun). 'it's just very essential' is wordy; 'it is essential' is clearer. 'enriched life experience' mixes forms; use verb 'enrich' and plural 'life experiences' to match 'different activities'. Suggestion: use infinitive after 'to' for purpose, add appropriate possessive pronoun, simplify modifiers, and keep parallel verb forms.