Politeness— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Content: The answer addresses the question but includes repetitive and harsh details ("constant beatings") that are socially sensitive and unnecessary. Structure: Lacks a clear topic sentence and concise supporting detail; the final sentence "I grew up" is redundant. Coherence: Some phrases are awkward ("come across so far" in next response) and transitions are weak. Language: Vocabulary is basic and some grammar is off (e.g., "the hard way" → "the hard way," tense and article issues). To improve, state a clear topic sentence, give one or two specific, socially appropriate examples of how you learned politeness, use a linking word to connect ideas, and keep it within 3–4 sentences. Also avoid graphic or potentially upsetting details; instead say "strict discipline" or "firm guidance."

Ví dụ: Topic sentence: "I learned to be polite mainly through firm guidance from my parents." Supporting detail with linking word: "For example, they taught me to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and corrected me whenever I interrupted others." Concluding sentence: "As a result, I became more considerate in social situations." (Three sentences, clear, specific, and natural.)

Gợi ý: Content: The answer affirms importance but is wordy and contains unclear or incorrect phrases ("come across so far," "get you through a long way"). Structure: No clear topic sentence followed by well-linked details; punctuation errors break flow. Coherence: Ideas are repetitive (building connections and practicing communication overlap). Language: Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., "help you form relationships," "facilitate communication") and correct grammar. To improve, open with a clear topic sentence, give one specific reason with a linking word, and finish with a concise conclusion. Keep to 2–3 sentences and avoid redundancy.

Ví dụ: Topic sentence: "Yes, I believe being polite is very important." Supporting detail with linking word: "For example, polite behaviour helps you build trust and smooth communication at work or in friendships." Concluding sentence: "Therefore, learning politeness makes social interactions easier and more pleasant." (Three sentences, clear linkage and precise language.)

× As I grew up, I was a stubborn kid and I had to learn the right ways through the hard way.

✓ As I grew up, I was a stubborn kid and I had to learn the right ways the hard way.

The phrase 'through the hard way' is incorrect collocation in English. Use 'the hard way' to indicate learning by difficult experience. Tense is fine (past). Suggestion: remove 'through' and say 'the hard way'.

× I had constant beatings and frequent scoldings by my parents, and with that lesson, it taught me how to be more polite and considerate of my surroundings.

✓ I had constant beatings and frequent scoldings from my parents, and those lessons taught me how to be more polite and considerate of my surroundings.

Use 'from my parents' not 'by' for receiving actions; 'with that lesson, it taught me' is redundant and ungrammatical. Change 'with that lesson, it taught me' to 'those lessons taught me' to match plural 'beatings and scoldings' and maintain past tense subject-verb agreement. Also avoid 'it' referring to unclear subject.

× I grew up.

✓ I grew up.

This sentence is grammatically correct but redundant after the earlier clause 'As I grew up'. Consider removing the repetition to improve clarity and cohesion.

× Of course, I think that lesson would help you come across so far as you grow up, being polite is one of the manners that people would expect you to have, and it would get you through a long way, especially in building connections and.

✓ Of course. I think that lesson will help you as you grow up. Being polite is one of the manners people expect you to have, and it will take you a long way, especially in building connections and practicing communication with others; it is an essential thing to learn in life.

Multiple issues: modal tense choice and sentence structure. Use 'will' rather than 'would' to express a general truth about the future. 'Help you come across so far' is incorrect; use 'help you as you grow up' or 'help you get far'. 'One of the manners' should be 'one of the manners people expect' or better 'one of the manners people expect you to have'. 'Get you through a long way' is incorrect collocation; use 'take you a long way'. The sentence was also fragmented ending with 'and.' and separated clause 'Practicing communication...' which needed to be integrated. Suggestions: split into shorter sentences, use 'will', and correct collocations.