Parks— Part 1 Báo cáo

Gợi ý: Be clearer with tense and word choice, give a concise topic sentence and one or two supporting details using correct grammar. Avoid irrelevant present-day details when speaking about childhood. Use linking words (for example, “When I was a child…” then “also” or “sometimes”).

Ví dụ: When I was a child, I enjoyed going to parks. I often played football there with my friends after school, and we sometimes stayed until sunset because we loved playing together.

Gợi ý: Reduce fillers and correct grammar — use present tense and clear subject-verb agreement. Start with a direct statement, then give one specific reason and an example. Use a linking word like “because” or “so”.

Ví dụ: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I go there when I feel stressed because walking among trees helps me relax, for example, I often take a 20-minute walk during my lunch break to clear my mind.

Gợi ý: Be specific and organized: state your opinion, give reasons with clear examples, and avoid hesitations. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., “fewer parks,” “play on the ground,” “unsafe”). Limit to two or three sentences.

Ví dụ: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because many neighborhoods have few green spaces. For example, children sometimes play on busy streets or paved areas, which is unsafe, so more parks would provide safe play areas for them.

Gợi ý: Give a clear direct answer, then expand with one specific detail about why — avoid repetition and correct vocabulary (park, nearby). Use linking words like “but” or “however” to connect ideas.

Ví dụ: I don’t have a particular park I want to visit, but I would like to live near a park in the future. Living close to a park would make it easy for me to exercise and relax outdoors every day.

× Well, yeah, I like to go to park when I was a child.

✓ Well, yeah, I liked going to parks when I was a child.

The sentence mixes present tense 'like' with past time reference 'when I was a child'. Use past tense 'liked' to match the past timeframe. Also 'go to park' needs plural or article; use 'going to parks' or 'going to the park'. Suggestion: maintain past tense and correct noun form.

× After work, I'll land home and then get together with my friend to play football there.

✓ After school/work, I would go home and then get together with my friends to play football there.

The student used 'I'll land home' which is unnatural and mixes future with past narrative. The context about childhood should use past habitual 'would go' or 'used to go'. 'Friend' should be plural 'friends' if playing with more than one; if singular, keep 'my friend'. Also 'land home' is incorrect collocation; use 'go home' or 'get home'.

× Well, umm, sometimes I am in mood to go to parks because umm, well when I was get stressed at work, umm, to roaming around, uh parks makes me uh less stressed and there are.

✓ Well, umm, sometimes I'm in the mood to go to parks because when I get stressed at work, walking around parks makes me less stressed.

Multiple errors: 'am in mood' needs article 'in the mood' (article error/phrase correction). 'When I was get stressed' mixes past and present and incorrect verb form; use present 'when I get stressed'. 'To roaming around' should be gerund without 'to': 'walking around' (verb + -ing form). 'Parks makes' has subject-verb disagreement; 'parks make' or 'walking around parks makes' depending on subject. Removed trailing 'and there are' which is incomplete (sentence structure error). Overall, align tense to present for current habit.

× Well, I would say yes, there's a here in Tokyo, there's a MMM, fewer parks in my neighborhoods.

✓ Well, I would say yes, there are fewer parks in my neighborhood here in Tokyo.

'There's a here' is incorrect word order and use of 'there's' (there is) with plural 'parks'; use 'there are'. 'Fewer parks' correctly uses 'fewer' with plural count noun. 'Neighborhoods' should be singular 'neighborhood' if referring to the speaker's area. Also remove filler 'a MMM'.

× And there's sometimes I see the, I see children pray on the ground.

✓ Sometimes I see children playing on the ground.

The original has fragmented structure 'there's sometimes I see the, I see'. Remove redundant fragments and correct the verb: 'pray' is incorrect here; likely 'play'. 'Playing' is the present participle to describe ongoing observation.

× It might be dangerous for them and they're not good not.

✓ It might be dangerous for them and it's not good for them.

'They're not good not' is ungrammatical. Use 'it's not good for them' to express that the situation is harmful. 'They are' is a pronoun subject; here the situation is 'it'.

× Actually actually I do not have any specific packs I'd like to go to in my future.

✓ Actually, I do not have any specific parks I'd like to go to in the future.

'Packs' is a spelling error for 'parks'. 'In my future' is awkward; use 'in the future'. Article 'any' with plural 'parks' is fine.

× So umm, but I'd like to live nearby the near the nearby the parks in my future.

✓ So, I'd like to live near parks in the future.

The original repeats words and uses incorrect article placement 'the near the nearby the parks'. Simplify to 'live near parks' or 'live near a park' depending on intention. Use 'in the future' for time phrase. 'I'd like' is appropriate for future preference (modal verb + base), keep as is.